The Poster Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 We broke up about 7 weeks ago, but we have stayed in decent contact regardless. I won't get into any details, but NC is not really easy right now because of common threads we still need to communicate about. I have made it known in other threads that I want a second chance with her...to make it right and start new. Over the weekend while visiting her and our dog (which is the main reason we talk so much) I realized that being there and seeing her and the dog is just way too painful for me right now. It just reminds me of what I lost and the mistakes I made. So I decided to, not necessarily go NC, but go very low contact and avoid seeing her. Problem is, as I knew it would and it already started today, she is going to start getting angry/upset that I keep blowing off going over there. I don't want her to think I'm abandoning our dog, it's just too painful for me to be there and I need to start healing in some form. So my question is...is this going to ruin my chances at a reconciliation? We are still on good terms, but I know, and it's already begun, that she is going to start giving me grief about not visiting. Should I be honest and just tell her it's too hard for me right now to be there? Not sure what to do. I need to look out for myself right now, but I don't want to ruin my chances of a reconciliation.
danceallday Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Can you just tell her that you need some time because you haven't absorbed the whole situation yet? You need time to breathe and think about things and you love the dogs, but they will be okay without you. Ask her to respect your need for privacy right now. I have been in NC for five weeks after a long term relationship ended. I felt better after a month.
singsparkles Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I understand you completely. You're hurt right now and you feel bad and you want to be with her, but you can't be right now in this moment and its going to be painful for her. Have you told her how you felt? Maybe it's best you just tell her how it is... Just tell her that you truly care about her and want to reconcile and would like another chance, but the thought of not being able to be together is painful at the moment and maybe you need some space to deal with it, and it's nothing against her or your dog. You want to be with them everyday, but it's hard to see them because it reminds you of everything you can't have. which is very understandable... Just give it time. Talk here and there and hopefully with time you two will be able to reconcile. If you guys have something strong and care about eachother enough, you will be able to get over the past and move forward. Just let her know how you're feeling and how you would still like to keep in contact with her but maybe for the moment in time not see eachother for awhile because its painful...hopefully she understands.... time usually heals everything if you are patient. Hopefully you both can be patient with patching things up. Patience is worth it for the best things in life.
Author The Poster Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 I have told her how I felt about wanting a second chance. I was there Sunday and right before I left, I spilled my heart and just walked out. I guess it's best to tell her I need time because it hurts, but I don't want to appear weak I guess.
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