CantLoseHer Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 So I was seriously starting my process of healing and not thinking about my ex as much and moving on past all the bs. I ended up seeing her yesterday to give her her bed and other stuff back. and my friend asked me later if we were back together, and I said no. And apparently she is in another relationship after less than a month. I just think its funny how she said she needs to work on herself and all that and whatnot (which she really does) but then jumps in another relationship. and honestly yesterday was the last time we were going to see each other so maybe thats why she changed her status later that day (I already was defriended by her but not blocked) so I honestly don't know if she cheated or not. Anyways the guy is way shorter than her, skinny and balding apparently according to my friend and is prob around 21 (shes 19) so I just don't understand how someone can say they're all in love with you for 15 months and then one day decide to end it and then just jump in a relationship, especially since we were each others first loves and first everythings. It just hurts knowing that what we had must have been fake, I just wish she could have manned up to the real reason to split. I seriously hate her as a person but despite that and trying to move on I still feel bad about myself, even though there's nothing I can or could have done.
just_scott Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 whenever you're in a relationship and your partner gives you the ''i want time to myself'' or ''they need to work on themselves'' etc . basically the relationship is OVER and theirs usually someone else in their lives don't think it's true ? just read some of the posts right here in l.s. all those speaches attempt to do is not totally hurt your feelings ,the dumper wants you to believe they actually care for you and want to let you down easy AND then give you the we can be ''friends'' speach it's all a game
katie.x Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 So I was seriously starting my process of healing and not thinking about my ex as much and moving on past all the bs. I ended up seeing her yesterday to give her her bed and other stuff back. and my friend asked me later if we were back together, and I said no. And apparently she is in another relationship after less than a month. I just think its funny how she said she needs to work on herself and all that and whatnot (which she really does) but then jumps in another relationship. and honestly yesterday was the last time we were going to see each other so maybe thats why she changed her status later that day (I already was defriended by her but not blocked) so I honestly don't know if she cheated or not. Anyways the guy is way shorter than her, skinny and balding apparently according to my friend and is prob around 21 (shes 19) so I just don't understand how someone can say they're all in love with you for 15 months and then one day decide to end it and then just jump in a relationship, especially since we were each others first loves and first everythings. It just hurts knowing that what we had must have been fake, I just wish she could have manned up to the real reason to split. I seriously hate her as a person but despite that and trying to move on I still feel bad about myself, even though there's nothing I can or could have done. This sounds like my ex, less than a month after we stopped talking after he mistreated me and told me to get out of his life he was with someone, 2 months after he stopped loving me. Personally, I see it as a rebound. When people move on so quickly I don't see how they could of resolved their previous relationship so quickly. Maybe she is filling the void you left, as I feel my ex is doing. I don't feel ready to move on and I'm assuming you don't either and not because you are holding onto hope for your ex but because you're just not ready. The dumpers always check out of the relationship earlier than the break up but at the same time being with someone for 15 months and then new relationship 1 month after the break up sounds like a clear rebound. Most likely trying to feel the comfort of someone caring again with the first person whom she happened to have the slightest spark with.
CopingGal Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 My ex and I had two bad break ups. With each one, he jumped into a relationship within 7 days. It feels like crap, but you have to face the fact that people will deal with a break up the way they want to. My ex doesn't like to feel pain. He's screwed up and needs to work on himself, but instead of processing the break up, he doesn't look. He doesn't learn. He doesn't try to be better. He just jumps from one woman to another. He's with someone now. He living the life, giving this woman everything he never gave me. He thinks he's on top of the world, but many women have left this guy and she will too. He just never learns. He just keeps making the same mistakes over again. I'm doing the work- reading the break up books, journaling, processing, healing. He's a loser. I'm the winner.
just_scott Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 K ''IF'' the dumper had the relationship ended in their minds way before they broke it off physically with the dumpee how can it be a rebound ? it's not like they ended with you and got into a relationship days later ESPECIALLY if they were already in another relationship while still with you i don't think you can just label everything likecalling a new relationship a ''rebound'' it's just stuff happens and that's it , maybe people label things like that to make themselves feel better by putting a name to it their isn't a rational explination for everything that happens sometimes things do just happen and that's it
Buttercup84 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Yeah people might have moved on whilst still in the relationship , but they still drag some kind of baggage with them into the next. It is always healthy to spend some alone time even if you were the one to end it and you are no longer interested in your ex.
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