dating noob Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 (edited) Ok, I'm 25 years old...so about 2 months back, a new girl (20 yrs, old, still in college) starts interning at my work. She was cute and seemed interested in me right from the start. She would hang around me when I was on the computer, or just initiate chat with me, and even just was in proximity to me...So, we got to talking about facebook, and she says to me, "I keep my facebook, really private so you won't be able to find me, but I'll find you!." So, she finds me and sends me a private message, like "Have fun in Cancun!" because she knew I was there for the next couple of days. Ugh I didn't want to make this a long story, so I'll cut it down from here on out....So we start chatting like almost every night on facebook. She suggests we "hangout" before she has to go back to college. So I agree...we ended up going together to the zoo, and getting ice cream...now at this point (during out "hangout"), I wasn't sure if I liked her...it was only a few days after that I realized that I liked her... So, a few things led me to believe that she likes me...After we hung out, she texts me that she had a great time and would like to do it again. She came into work to drop off food for me that SHE MADE! She used to initiate chat and text with me. So, her last day of work was last week and I haven't been hearing much from her, and she does not seem to be initiating texts/messages. She seems to be more distant. As if she isn't as interested anymore. Did I screw this up somehow? Has she really lost interest? I like her but if I take the risk of asking her out, she might reject me, and she is going to come back to intern in a few months which might be really awkward... So my question is should I ask her out before she leaves in about a week? I'm only just realizing now how great she is... Thank you guys for reading Edited August 18, 2011 by dating noob
Ayla Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 It sounds like she is pretty interested in you from what you have said. Lots of contact, bringing you food to work, lots of contact... Now that she has gone back to uni, she might be really busy getting back into it, studying, catching up with friends. She is still contacting you right? It has only been a week, and IMO she is just busy with other things. Maybe give her a call (not text) and say to her, that when she is settled back at uni, would she like to go out for dinner with you. Don't make it sound serious, so that if she declines...it doesn't make it too awkward. A few months is a long time off. A life without risks, is a life half lived...
Author dating noob Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 She didn't leave yet, she has about a week left, before she leaves (300 miles) away to college again. So, if I'm going to do this, I have to do it now...and she hasn't been contacting me...I gave her nearly a week to contact me, and she hasn't so I'm thinking she has lost interest... Thank you for your advice Ayla, you're right about taking risks...but I'm scared!! hahaha
Ayla Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Ok-so maybe she is thinking that 300 miles is a long way apart. You said you haven't been hearing much from her - so I assumed there had been some contact. How about you ask her to go out for a dinner before she leaves. If you like her that much...At least that way-worst case scenario you can say goodbye. Plus you guys are friends on Facebook, so you can still stay in touch with that, and via mobile phone. I know it's scary, and I'm good at giving advice-but bad at taking my own advice. Just give it a go...otherwise you will be wondering 'what if' or waiting for her potential return as an intern. Obviously my advice is just based on what you wrote, if your to worried about asking her for dinner, make it over a drink that could lead to dinner.
bluenightowl Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Ok, I'm 25 years old...so about 2 months back, a new girl (20 yrs, old, still in college) starts interning at my work. She was cute and seemed interested in me right from the start. She would hang around me when I was on the computer, or just initiate chat with me, and even just was in proximity to me...So, we got to talking about facebook, and she says to me, "I keep my facebook, really private so you won't be able to find me, but I'll find you!." So, she finds me and sends me a private message, like "Have fun in Cancun!" because she knew I was there for the next couple of days. Ugh I didn't want to make this a long story, so I'll cut it down from here on out....So we start chatting like almost every night on facebook. She suggests we "hangout" before she has to go back to college. So I agree...we ended up going together to the zoo, and getting ice cream...now at this point (during out "hangout"), I wasn't sure if I liked her...it was only a few days after that I realized that I liked her... So, a few things led me to believe that she likes me...After we hung out, she texts me that she had a great time and would like to do it again. She came into work to drop off food for me that SHE MADE! She used to initiate chat and text with me. So, her last day of work was last week and I haven't been hearing much from her, and she does not seem to be initiating texts/messages. She seems to be more distant. As if she isn't as interested anymore. Did I screw this up somehow? Has she really lost interest? I like her but if I take the risk of asking her out, she might reject me, and she is going to come back to intern in a few months which might be really awkward... So my question is should I ask her out before she leaves in about a week? I'm only just realizing now how great she is... Thank you guys for reading definitely ask her out. gotta take these risks. if she says no, you'll be fine and if she says yes, how amazing for you.
leftfordead2 Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Ok, I'm 25 years old...so about 2 months back, a new girl (20 yrs, old, still in college) starts interning at my work. She was cute and seemed interested in me right from the start. She would hang around me when I was on the computer, or just initiate chat with me, and even just was in proximity to me...So, we got to talking about facebook, and she says to me, "I keep my facebook, really private so you won't be able to find me, but I'll find you!." So, she finds me and sends me a private message, like "Have fun in Cancun!" because she knew I was there for the next couple of days. Ugh I didn't want to make this a long story, so I'll cut it down from here on out....So we start chatting like almost every night on facebook. She suggests we "hangout" before she has to go back to college. So I agree...we ended up going together to the zoo, and getting ice cream...now at this point (during out "hangout"), I wasn't sure if I liked her...it was only a few days after that I realized that I liked her... So, a few things led me to believe that she likes me...After we hung out, she texts me that she had a great time and would like to do it again. She came into work to drop off food for me that SHE MADE! She used to initiate chat and text with me. So, her last day of work was last week and I haven't been hearing much from her, and she does not seem to be initiating texts/messages. She seems to be more distant. As if she isn't as interested anymore. Did I screw this up somehow? Has she really lost interest? I like her but if I take the risk of asking her out, she might reject me, and she is going to come back to intern in a few months which might be really awkward... So my question is should I ask her out before she leaves in about a week? I'm only just realizing now how great she is... Thank you guys for reading I don't get posts like this. Do you feel strong enough to want to pursue her? How do we know whether she lost interest or not? Why do you need to seek other people's opinion on whether you should pursue her? If you like her, shouldn't you just try, at least?
vsmini Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 In your OP you mention a few times that she initiates a lot. Does she initiate a lot more than you? That's the way I read it. It's possible she realized that she was doing most/all of the initiating and thought that it was time you put in the effort.
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