Minotaur Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I hate him. I'm sitting here alone and in the dark drinking the last of a bottle. I don't know where he is and I no longer care. Yes i do. I care a lot. F* him not answering his phone, F* him for hiding stuff F* him for keeping me waiting for hours and hours and hours. F* me for waiting Why do i allow this? Why do i wait? why do I care? Why do i give EVERYTHING and get nothing?Why did i come here????????? Because i can't talk to ANYONE. I haven't got any friends. I don't want advice i KNOW what i should do. I just want to be able to say what i feel and be heard this hurts so bad
patagonia Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I hate him. I'm sitting here alone and in the dark drinking the last of a bottle. I don't know where he is and I no longer care. Yes i do. I care a lot. F* him not answering his phone, F* him for hiding stuff F* him for keeping me waiting for hours and hours and hours. F* me for waiting Why do i allow this? Why do i wait? why do I care? Why do i give EVERYTHING and get nothing?Why did i come here????????? Because i can't talk to ANYONE. I haven't got any friends. I don't want advice i KNOW what i should do. I just want to be able to say what i feel and be heard this hurts so bad Mino- put down the bottle. It only makes things worse. There are great listeners here and many of us have started over with friends, life, etc. You are not alone. Welcome
Author Minotaur Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 i feel very very alone and the bottle is empty anyway... thanks for the welcome. I can't believe i'm even here. How can you love someone so much and be treated so badly and still love them? the bottle is just as hard to put down as the guy. right now. I'm so tired of being alone, I try to make friends but the ones i have made moved away years ago or are of the wrong sorts.
thatone Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 because he's the one you wanted, so he's the one you got.
Professor X Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I hate him. I'm sitting here alone and in the dark drinking the last of a bottle. I don't know where he is and I no longer care. Yes i do. I care a lot. F* him not answering his phone, F* him for hiding stuff F* him for keeping me waiting for hours and hours and hours. F* me for waiting Why do i allow this? Why do i wait? why do I care? Why do i give EVERYTHING and get nothing?Why did i come here????????? Because i can't talk to ANYONE. I haven't got any friends. I don't want advice i KNOW what i should do. I just want to be able to say what i feel and be heard this hurts so bad As the saying goes, each chooses his own happiness. I'm sorry for the pain you feel, but you did choose it, still do; No one forces you to stay. Maybe one day the pain will be to much to bare and it will be the last nail in the coffin. Who knows. Either way I hope you will be happy as soon as possible.
grkBoy Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Minotaur, the reason why you still love him despite his apparent betrayal is because the wound is fresh. It's ok. You just got hurt...be hurt. Cry, scream, throw things, punch a bag or pillow, etc. Let the wound bleed and get it all out of you for now. It will start to heal. Give yourself a few days to a few weeks to let the initial pain go away. Liberate yourself from him by erasing your phone and email of his contact info. Don't go looking for or asking for "closure". Whatever he did, the pain he gave you is the closure you need. You can think confronting him or talking to him and telling him off will make it better...but it won't. After a few days, start doing things for you. Clean your house, toss out things he gave you that only bring back the pain. Go work out, take walks, indulge yourself A LITTLE on things you love, like a new dress or a dessert. After that, maybe pretty yourself up just for the sake of feeling good. Go get a mani/pedi, or get your hair done, or go out doing your normal daily stuff in a nice outfit that makes you feel beautiful. From there, start to look for things that personally fulfill you in life. Don't suddenly start looking for a new man, and be cautious if new men pop up. Just work on self-fulfillment and self-happiness. Get yourself to a place where you can love yourself and even feel like you can live life happily without anyone. After that, things will be clearer. You won't feel the codependency and "need" to "have someone". You'll start to enjoy having the bed to yourself and roll your eyes at your friends who still break their backs to please people who didn't deserve them. Even then when you meet guys, you'll be stronger and get to the point where you won't be "giving everything" without him giving in return. You'll spot the jerks and reject them, and only let in the right men. For now, just bleed and mourn. Let the wound run its course. You'll be fine. We're all here if you need to talk...even vent.
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