chickensoup Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 (edited) i want to get over my ex, its been 8 months, i still love him but i cant be with him. what should i do. Edited August 18, 2011 by chickensoup too much personal information.
wilsonx Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 First off, sorry that you are going through this, what have you done for yourself in the past 8 months to make yourself a better person? Have you joined a gym, worked out, gone for a walk, or have you just sat inside and just sat on this. I would suggest that you pick some goals and start accomplishing them. I would also suggest getting some therapy if you are at the 8 month mark and still like day one Are you strict No contact with him? How long after your last relationship did you start dating this new guy that broke up with you honestly.
Author chickensoup Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 i do everything i can to keep myself busy during the day, but i do it alone because i dont really enjoy being around people anymore. I go to gym, i have taken dance classes, i go on shopping spreees, i go to work, but i am alone still. I dont talk to any other then my family, and i keep to myself. I live with my family, but im still alone. People usally give the advice of being busy and doing stuff but to be honest, it may keep your body busy, but ur mind is free to thinking. I can be in the gym doing a workout but im still thinking about things in my head. I can be cooking a meal but he is still on my mind. I feel sorry for myself at times, i dont want to be like this. I want to be with him because thats the only way i can be better again. I can try otherwise but i have been trying and honestly its not working out so great like i thought. About 6 months i broke up with my ex that i started dating the new guy. And I was in love from the day one. The first day that we saw eachother. And its even more weird cause after we broke up, i started loving him even more. I didnt expect that to happen, how can that even happen? how can u love someone that you arent even with? we talk to eachother, we dont talk for acouple days but one of us gets weak, sometimes me n i call or text or sometimes him, we almost take turns checking on eachother. And everytime we talk it starts nice n good and in then end its all about the past and how we still love eachother but in the end we cant do anything about it, so we argue and fight and then ignore for another couple of days and then repeat.
wilsonx Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 About 6 months i broke up with my ex that i started dating the new guy. And I was in love from the day one. The first day that we saw eachother. And its even more weird cause after we broke up, i started loving him even more. I didnt expect that to happen, how can that even happen? how can u love someone that you arent even with? we talk to eachother, we dont talk for acouple days but one of us gets weak, sometimes me n i call or text or sometimes him, we almost take turns checking on eachother. And everytime we talk it starts nice n good and in then end its all about the past and how we still love eachother but in the end we cant do anything about it, so we argue and fight and then ignore for another couple of days and then repeat. You need to end the contact between each other. Thats why you still feel the same way you do, the emotional attachment is so strong because you still are talking to each other. That needs to go to 0 Contact. Why did you delete your post, did you know this guy before you broke up with your ex?
Author chickensoup Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 i changed my mind on having it there. I thought it was too much information. The zero contact thing is not going to work. No one understands this. I still love him and i want him back, even though i know its not going to happen.
wilsonx Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Then prepare for the longest string along of your life. You are never going to get over him emotionally. I have a female friend that has been strung along for 12 years by the same guy because she wont start NC. I have a theory that you left your boyfriend before for this guy. When you went and talked to your boyfriend before, he broke up with you. The fact that you wont go NC shows me that you are the monkey that fell out of the tree and have no branches to grasp on to even with your attitude right now. The only advice that anyone on this board or any other board or book you read or advice that a friend will give you is to go NC. Thats the only way to start healing from this breakup. The only way. Good luck
Author chickensoup Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 What differnce will nc make? How do I even do that? Even if I do that what about the memories or the pictures or gifts, get rid of them? I can't do that. I think I'm gonna take therapy, that might help me. I know I sound stubborn n who wants to help a person like that but u don't know anyones story until you experince it urself. And I hope no one goes through this like I did.
esteem-jam Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Pictures and gifts, get rid of them, they belong in the trash. Thats what I did in the very start, not saying it will change your world, but its written in the *breakup ---> healing* rules. Get rid of that stuff.
Yuzuki Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 You don't necessarily need to get rid of gifts and pictures, just make sure they're out of your sight. That way you don't need to feel that stabbing pain every time you see them lying around, but you do have peace of mind knowing that they're not gone. (Well, I'm very bad at throwing anything away though. It might be better for some. )
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