brianroy Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Ok so here is my story. I've been friends with a girl for 5 years. She has been like a sister for me, helped me through some of the toughest times of my life, we are always there for eachother. I have been in love with her since I've met her. I gonna give a chronological sumup of how things have went since 2006. 2006: I met her at a place I was working back then. We clicked and kept in touch. Found her very very attractive from the first meeting. 2007: We become very good friends, and I fall in love with her. She tells me she really really really likes me, but as a friend. However there is a incredible chemistry between us she cant deny. My father dies and she helps me through a very hard time. 2008: We become closer and closer, I fall even deeper in love with her. One day we are together and there is a incredible chemistry between us. She tells me she has to tell me something. She tells me she has really fallen for me, but has a very strong fear of commitment. We kiss (had been waiting for 2 years for this kiss!). Unfortunately I leave for a long holiday 2 days later. She texts me a couple of times, she misses me, I miss her like cazy as well. After I come back she tells me kissing me was a mistake and she wants to be friends again. It hurts like hell offcourse, but I'm patient. We stay very close. 2009: Our friendship keeps growing. We have a chemistry I cant explain. One day we kiss and make out again, we are both confused. After that day nothing really happens, we are still close. 2010: We are even closer then ever. I am not only in love with her, I love her with all my heart. She gives me a lot of hints of wanting to be my girlfriend. But after what happened in 2008 & 2009 I am scared of asking her to me by girl, afraid of losing her. One day she asks me if I wants to be more than friends. I say: lets take things slow. She saw this as a no, but it wasnt, I didnt want to pressure her. However she took it as a no and stops behaving like my girlfriend. After 3 months I ask her whats wrong and she flips telling me that I had rejected her and that I am playing games. I write her a letter telling how much she means to me and how crazy I am about her. She texts me saying that its better to say goodbye. We dont speak for 3 months and I nearly die of pain and missing her. I think I lost her forever. 2011: After 3 months of no contact she talks to me on MSN. Later we meet and she apoligizes to me for her behavior. During that meeting the chemistry is huge again, staring into eachothers eyes like we are deeply in love. She also tells me that she really wanted to be my girl, but thought I had rejected her. We become as close as before, but still just friends. We have phonesex and talk every day. Now a couple of weeks ago she went for a holiday to her country. She didnt text me or nothing, and it hurt me. Now last week I called her and she told me she was on a date and has been seing someone she met on holiday. I nearly die. She notices my pain and becomes very worried. However she also tells me that she wasn't planning of waiting on me forever. She tells me to finally have the balls to tell her the truth. So stuttering I admit I love her with all my heart and soul (a relieve after 5 years of holding it in). It seems to really touch her. She tells me the guy she has been seeing means nothing to her yet, and that she would pick me above any other guy. However she also tells me that she needs time to think about whether she wants to start a serious relationship with me. She tells me she had been in love with me but that was a year ago. She needs time to listen to her heart and make a decision. I tell her it would be ridiculous if we never tried. She agrees. She sounds very sweet and not distant. She tells me that she'll call me when she knows what her decision is. I tell her I love her ones more, she says she feels the same. I ask her to say it, she says she doesnt want to say it yet (however she kind of did by saying 'I feel the same'). We do the sweet "you hang up, no you hang up" thing before we hang up That was last Friday. Sunday I called her (I knew I shouldn't but I needed to hear her voice). She gets a little upset and says: Why are you calling me I told you I needed some time. I tell her I just wanted to know how she was doing. She is a little annoyed. I tell her I'll give her all the time and space she needs and wont call her anymore. She says I'll call you. So now I'm waiting, and its terrifying. I've wanted to be with her for 5 years, I love her so much my soul burns. She told me she wouldn't wait for me forever, so that means she WAS waiting for me to say I love her, guess that's a good sign. I just dont know what to think, I can not imagine the happiness I would feel if she says yes. It would be better then winning the lotery. But somehow I just can not imagine her saying yes, cause I've never known such happiness. However its clear that I mean a lot to her, and I really liked when she said she would pick me over any other guy. I havent heared anything from her since (I know this could take a while, perhaps even a month). I added her on Facebook (I hadn't done so before) and she has not accepted me, but has been online cause she changed her picture. So I cancelled the friendship-request. Just gonna wait for her to listen to her heart... Please give me your thoughts and recommendations.
Nsweet Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Brianroy, I hate to break it to you, this sounds to me like she in a relationship with someone else and doesn't have the heart to tell you. She only kissed you in the past out of pity and friendship, but the cold hard fact is does NOT see a relationship with you. It toils be too hard to read you completely off of here and the main problems I see are a LACK OF CONFIDENCE and COMPLETE DESPERATION towards her. You acted helpless towards her and desperate to hear her say she loved you. She may say it to make you feel better but she won't mean it or respect you. Save yourself a ton of heart ache and let her go. If she really cared for you she would contact you more and let you know she cared. Often these young girls get caught up with what they perceive to be "exciting" guys who are nothing more than over confident jerks. Later on I can promise you, she will miss you even if she doesnt contact you. You need, NEED to let her go and work on yourself. I apologize if this hurt your feelings. You needed to hear this. You can try semi-perminant NC which may or may not work, it will however help you heal and strengthen.
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