Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Hello! I posted yesterday that my EX has a girlfriend of one week, so I met him for lunch and then slept with him to try and get him to come back. Yes I messed up and today my head is spinning !! I called him I gave him the ultimatum of course he said a lot of things to make me believe he was coming back. Today he won't commit so I said then tell me good bye and he said ok bye! I feel like gravity took me down with a 100 pound weight ! I Feel Paralyzed ! I keep calling him he won't answer his phone. I told him to change his phone number because I'm hurt ,and I will keep calling him ! This back and forth has been a crazy cycle of one year now. This is the first time he has had a girlfriend so I'm not handling it at all. I cannot do " No Contact". Never could. He is my addiction. I can't see past this. Everything is shattered ! Please don't take him away ! God !
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I met him for lunch and then slept with him to try and get him to come back. This was so like my biggest fantasy when I was single -- having two girls fight over me using sex as a weapon. So apologies if I get turned on by this story.
smudge21 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 From what you say, the advice you get from here may not be enough to help you. I would seriously suggest making contact with a professional. There's no shame in it and I feel it may be your best bet, before things get any worse with this addiction. You can get better from this but you have to want to get better. I know how hard it can be to not only let go, but to actually WANT to let go. That's the thing, sometimes we know what we should do, what the right thing to do is, but quite simply, we just don't want to give in, to admit defeat, to say that we lost... Only you and your actions can alter your life now and make you start to feel better, but there are people out there who can offer the guidance needed to set you on the right path. I never thought I'd be seeking professional help, but it's clear I'm not healing as well as I thought. You will get better eventually, we all do.
SillyS Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 That's what contact is, its an addiction that has been developed through years/months of habit. They were our special someone, so its hard for every single person to deal with this disconnect. So please give not contacting him a chance. You will notice contacting him and subjecting yourself to rejection is also damaging to yourself even more in the process. Stop fighting this. This guy is a absolute jerk, and we have to get over them. This was so like my biggest fantasy when I was single -- having two girls fight over me using sex as a weapon. So apologies if I get turned on by this story. And that made me think of a threesome, weird!
Author Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 I like the trailer you have at the end of your post ! I know I need help big time ! I have to go to work and function ! I just got off of the phone with him he won't come back and he thinks the new girlfriend is perfect even though he doesn't want the kid part of the deal. I told him he just wants to get some from her which is true !! I hope he gets hurt ! It's sooooooooo time for him to get hurt he does all of the hurting to people !! I told him to try something right for once and work on us but he said no he is not coming back. He ate lunch out with me and slept with me. He said he will change his phone # tomorrow. I guess that will end it for me after a year of hell !!!!!! I'm Floored !
Author Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 You guys made me laugh SillyS and nyc_guy2003 !! I will always be greatful for your dirty minds ! I had to tell the whole story of all the weapons I used. They backfired ! One messed up Queen of Hearts !!
Nohbody Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Consider attempting to re-frame this experience. So you 'lost' and were 'defeated', by who or by what? What would have happened if you 'won' and were 'victorious'? No victory is absolute, and no defeat is total. These are artificial terms that may well have a place on the battlefield (though increasingly some of us are skeptical of this, too), but have NO PLACE in human relations. Consider how much of this is the pain of unrequited love, and how much of this is the agony of rejection and the bruising of the ego. Whether we admit it or not, rejection hurts our self concept and damages our esteem the person who matters most - ourselves
Author Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 Nohbody you need to have coffee with me if your wife will let you ! Or she can come along too !! Or a tear in my beer !! I'm so glad you saw this post again !! Colorado Kids !! Ha ha !!!! So now how do I pick my self up . The next day the next weak. The next winter the next bite of food. Do you understand he is going to her not to me !! He crossed the line I drew ! I never want the Joker card again ! Tomorrow he will change his phone number !! I did win that ! I need to never contact him again and he has to do that because I couldn't leave him alone ! I would rather fight and die than to be tortured. I drive a very fast Black sports car and would like to go drive it off of the mountain at 200mph ! I won't but feel that way !!
dreamingoftigers Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Queen of Hearts, how old are you? I ask this in seriousness.
wilsonx Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I would rather fight and die than to be tortured. I drive a very fast Black sports car and would like to go drive it off of the mountain at 200mph ! I won't but feel that way !! You are torturing yourself every time you stay in contact with him or try to manipulate him for your own gains. I know this is a fresh breakup but you need to stick to NC. I will assure you there's absolutely nothing you can do to win him back right now. Nothing! Give yourself some time and space from the situation.
LovelyDaze Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Only you and your actions can alter your life now and make you start to feel better, but there are people out there who can offer the guidance needed to set you on the right path. I never thought I'd be seeking professional help, but it's clear I'm not healing as well as I thought. You will get better eventually, we all do. That is so true. Queen, you stated in another post that you refused to give up and I noted that he needs to fight for you. By his ACTIONS right now, he doesn't in any way shape or form wants to fight with you or for you. This guy is scummy. He can do with or without you right now because he has the glory of you being ultra clingy and omnipresent. You HAVE to go NC or you will push him so far away that he WILL dislike you...seriously. You should want to do NC for YOU to move on and be with someone much better. But if you want the BEST chance of getting him back at all, you must do NC so he can actually miss and think of you.
Author Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 How old do you think I' am ???? Hey I did a misspel but I drank a whole bottle of Champagne too ! I don't drink but now I'm going to start till I get over this ! So I'm slow to write !! Sorry for all of my bad behavior !! Do you thin all of us bloggers could get together ? Now that would be a real Party !!
dreamingoftigers Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I have no idea, that's why I asked. You could be 20, you could be 63.
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Which celebrity do you most resemble, appearance-wise?
Author Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 Is that you and your baby ?? Dreamingoftigers ??????????? There is a baby in my castle ! He is one ! Not mine !
Author Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 nyc_guy2003 Back at you who do You look like ?? I don't look like a movie star. I do have green eyes tahat can't pick out a good man from a bad man !!!
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I don't look like a movie star. I do have green eyes Please elaborate, thanks.
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