(500) Days of Summer again!

[selena_cat]

Hi Fellow Loveshackers,

 

 

I havent posted in a while,but glad to be back. I am obsessed by that movie' (500) Days of Summer' and I wonder if anyone that had a chance to see this move and do they identify with what the character has gone through? Falling in love with an elusive person,getting the string along,dont know where you stand?

 

Also is anyone on their way of finding an Autumn,(someone with potential)

my opinion is we all dated a 'Summer' guy or girl,seeing the wishy washy way this woman character treats him in the movie,really stings.

 

 

Thanks,hope to hear from you,i'm ready to listen to stories,or some venting!

Edited August 17, 2011 by selena_cat

[wilsonx]

Ive seen the movie, in the very beginning didnt she say straight up that she only wanted a FWB and nothing more.

 

He was the one that wasnt paying attention

[esteem-jam]

I watched it recently, and I watched it 2 times.

The most painful part for me was when we see his expectations / reality. The moment they sat for the chatter and somebody asked what he does for a living... he tries to make himself bigger than he is, saying some stupid joke (that didnt work out) about his greeting card job. That was true awkwardness. I think it was because he could not stand strong and tall about what he said, and his job, because deep inside he knew its lame and he deserves and is able to make much more in this life.

When he starts working on architecture we see him become a Man, not a boy he was before, he works on a job that reaches out all his potential, that not many people are blessed with. Skilled people are aprreciated, and his skill was acknowledged, confirmed, thus he gains confidence.

Funny thing about Autumn... he finds a girl who is on his level (looks and brain), and I bet Autumn was often at the bar that he used to go with Summer.

Its such a cool story I wish it was true... If I could choose a reality to live in, Id choose this film.

 

PS

The "Summer effect", I very much know what it is, Ive seen it in real life, people just getting things the easy way. Life isnt fair.

[SugarLily]

500 Days of Summer is such a beautiful film.

 

Even though Summer can be perceived as a 'bitch' there's something about her which kind of makes you love her. She comes across as so 'free' but because of that she's also unattainable. Until she falls in love. Her getting married represents her commiting to something (someone) indefinitely. Something she could never do with Tom.

 

To me, this movie represents how someone can be the 'perfect' partner - but it doesn't mean that they are perfect for you.

 

x

[selena_cat]

Thanks for your intake on this!

 

Esteem,you are very accurate of that expectation/Reality party scene,he did the mistake of tryiong to appear bigger than he is,but one has to remember that he wouldnt be in that awkward moment, if he dealt with the 'expectation' Summer,there she was much more friendlier and loving towards him. whereas in the reality,she is standing very far from him,at a distance,sort of having him fend for himself asking questions about his life. The 'expectations'Summer would have been sitting next to him would never say,'he could have done more with his life'.

 

Sugarlily,its easy to for the viewer to dislike summer,even though she tells him up front she's not looking for anything,still she kisses him in the office, and jumps into bed with him whenever she's in the mood . To me she signify's the dumpers out there,the one that finds it easy to string someone along,but when someone comes along,poof,they are married?

 

AS if the person they decide to give their all to is so superior to the last person they withheld everything from,in a way,thats what I have the problem with. Maybe she's the reason these women wrote that bestseller'The Rules' girlfriend has it down pat.

Edited August 17, 2011 by selena_cat

[SugarLily]

Selena -

 

The person they 'decide to give their all to' isn't 'superior' in any way.

 

It isn't about 'who's better'.

 

It's about finding someone who you know you could spend forever with. Not wonder, not think, know.

 

Summer never knew with Tom. But she knew when she met her husband.

[sun_moon]

ahhhh, I have got to watch this movie.

[MidnightinMadrid]

The thing about this movie is does sort of promotes the universal commitmentphobics excuse of not meeting the right person thats why they go from one person to another and boom meet Mr and Mrs. Right?

Really now,I'd like to see that work for George Clooney.

 

Summer however, fits perfectly into that category.Its not as if she 'knew' that her new fiance was the right person,watching the movie many times, her character didnt seem to have that sort of depth. She seems to be a shallow wishy washy person, and I do get Selena's point about her. Sure Tom created a superficial fantasy about her without knowing who she really is,but in a way she did encourage that fantasy.

Furthermore,she does gives the impression that she was holding out on Tom purposely. Then comes the mixed messages,who here in this forum hasnt relate to their exes stringing hem along for years and immediately falls for the new person. Years later, the ex finds out the grass really wasnt greener?

 

There was a part after she was upset with him for that bar fight Tom finally stood up to her telling her,why do you only get a say in this?

she goes to his apartment afterwards and ends up in bed with him-which she sort of does throughout the movie! lol,maybe Tom's doing something right after all.

 

Thats what it comes down to,people that Summer represents do like to call the shots,men or women. I doubt she or others like her would find real love with anyone anyway,not if they can be flaky and change their mind in the drop of a hat.

 

Good Movie though:)

Edited August 19, 2011 by MidnightinMadrid

[LelouchIsZero]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljensrahVc1qzl614o1_500.png

[WTRanger]

She didn't string him along. She told him she wasn't sure about a relationship at that stage, well she was sure but she wasn't sure with Tom. Tom was the one who knew this and decided to stick around and ended up getting burned. It's like being shocked when you get lung cancer after being a life long smoker.

 

The end of the movie, when Summer and Tom are in the park, nails it on the head. She wasn't sure, but she decided to give it a go. When that didn't work out, Tom who had show his cards since day one, got burned. She was dipping her foot in the pool and Tom's the fool who did a cannonball. When Summer met her husband, she knew. She knew what she didn't know with Tom.

 

Stop making this movie into more than it is. Entertainment, that's all it is. Also, don't assume that it works out with Autumn either. As far as we all know, that one ends up in the craphouse for Tom as well. All that end scene does is set up the notion that you have to move on after a break up, and you can't give up on seeking love just because you had your heart broke. You know, the "I can't live without my ex / I can't cope / I can't go NC / I don't want to move on / I've had one breakup therefore my life is over / Love sucks" mentality.

 

In fact, Summer is the one we all should strive to be like. When a relationship ends, get over it. Move on with your life. Don't sulk around dwelling in What-If land. Get up, get out, and get on with your life already.

Edited August 20, 2011 by WTRanger

[Buttercup84]

Summer reminds me a bit of myself when I met my ex. He was like that guy and I was bit scared off by him coming on so strong and being so in love with me.

 

I regret being so cold , but two weeks later I was falling for him and was the first to say I love you. And I knew with him too that I wanted to marry him.

 

Then he turned into " Summer " and was unsure and left me. FML. We actually watched that movie together , and a day before he broke up with me he watched it again...

[MidnightinMadrid]

She didn't string him along. She told him she wasn't sure about a relationship at that stage, well she was sure but she wasn't sure with Tom. Tom was the one who knew this and decided to stick around and ended up getting burned. It's like being shocked when you get lung cancer after being a life long smoker.

 

The end of the movie, when Summer and Tom are in the park, nails it on the head. She wasn't sure, but she decided to give it a go. When that didn't work out, Tom who had show his cards since day one, got burned. She was dipping her foot in the pool and Tom's the fool who did a cannonball. When Summer met her husband, she knew. She knew what she didn't know with Tom.

 

Stop making this movie into more than it is. Entertainment, that's all it is. Also, don't assume that it works out with Autumn either. As far as we all know, that one ends up in the craphouse for Tom as well. All that end scene does is set up the notion that you have to move on after a break up, and you can't give up on seeking love just because you had your heart broke. You know, the "I can't live without my ex / I can't cope / I can't go NC / I don't want to move on / I've had one breakup therefore my life is over / Love sucks" mentality.

 

In fact, Summer is the one we all should strive to be like. When a relationship ends, get over it. Move on with your life. Don't sulk around dwelling in What-If land. Get up, get out, and get on with your life already.

 

 

Sorry but your making summer into this well she was honest with him,and Tom;s the fool thingy here. Plus, i'm not makin this movie more than it is, the OP I recall,asks people's opinion or if they relate to this movie. I notice this movie has more than one thread written on it,obviously touches on something.

Also,Summer didnt just dip her foot on Tom's pool to find out that if he's the one or to make sure,she did more than that my friend;)

 

To me it still promotes the idea that commitmentphobics just haven't met the right person,and tie it up in a ribbon that once they meet the right person,they'll 'know'. Personally Its no different from the G.I.Gs thing people write about here. Those kinds of people will always look for greener grass.

Sure it might not work with Autumn either but who says workoutwith Summer's new hubby.

Edited August 21, 2011 by MidnightinMadrid

[selena_cat]

I'm glad i have gotten some responses! Keep it comming:D

I do have to agree with Madrid,its easy to say,hey get over it and see things from Summer's point of view. However reading countless of threads here on LS of people with who have been left on the lurch,and few cases, on the altar! learning that their exes found something new or yikes, engaged! How can you say,in a way, too bad your ex has not found the right person?

 

Posting this thread,I hope there are people who do relate to the Tom's character,but there are those who relates to Summer,more here. Interesting!

Which is unusual on LS a.k.a, heartbreak central. Lets see how it goes.

I really do like this movie,maybe there will be (500) days of Summer part II,summer breaks down and breaks NC with Tom whose already engaged to Winter,haha.

I'm getting this from all those ex broke NC threads! Thanks folks.

[thelovingkind]

I think (500) Days of Summer is less about the distinction between one person being a player and the other played, or one person being honest and the other a naive fool, and more about the trouble that arises when two people simply aren't on the same page. Summer wasn't consciously trying to play Tom by, for example, dancing with him at the wedding, she just couldn't see how that could be an issue. The breakdown in real empathy is at the heart of the conflict. Both partners lay down their cards, call things as they see it and take the other's position at face value, an approach that works well in formal, business, contractual-style relationships, but that tends to generate hurt and misunderstanding in personal relationships. I "get" Summer's experience - right now I'm seeing someone who I'm not interested in anything long term with, and could never fall in love with, but with whom I have a great, fun, romantic and friendly vibe and love doing coupley things together. But I definitely don't approach it only in the airy, carefree, faux-ditzy "I've made it clear what I want out of this and if he screws himself over then it's not my problem" attitude that I felt made Summer's character selfish, annoying and hard to relate to. I know that the guy I'm seeing could develop stronger feelings, and I take my responsibility seriously to make sure that we're always on the same page, week by week, even if I've already stated in the beginning what I was after.

[WTRanger]

Sorry but your making summer into this well she was honest with him,and Tom;s the fool thingy here. Plus, i'm not makin this movie more than it is, the OP I recall,asks people's opinion or if they relate to this movie. I notice this movie has more than one thread written on it,obviously touches on something.

Also,Summer didnt just dip her foot on Tom's pool to find out that if he's the one or to make sure,she did more than that my friend;)

 

To me it still promotes the idea that commitmentphobics just haven't met the right person,and tie it up in a ribbon that once they meet the right person,they'll 'know'. Personally Its no different from the G.I.Gs thing people write about here. Those kinds of people will always look for greener grass.

Sure it might not work with Autumn either but who says workoutwith Summer's new hubby.

 

So if Summer is such a commitmentphobe, why does she agree to get married? The ULTIMATE commitment?

 

The whole point is that Tom knew from the get go that she was wishy washy with the whole relationship. He also was well that the relationship was sinking fast at the end, but refuses to do anything than look the other way. They portray the dumper and the dumpee perfectly during this phase. One sees the ship as sinking and one things it's just a little water.

 

GIGS is just a jumble of words people use to make themselves feel better. It's a lie, just like the cake.

[MidnightinMadrid]

Oh please, summer getting married doesnt mean she's not a commitmentphobic. She could turn flaky and cold with her husband have him wondering what he did wrong,there goes the sequel. A wise older friend of mine told me that people have patterns that prop up no matter who they are with.

And people who jump from marriage to marriage, doesnt mean they are any more committed to someone who dates alot. They just love the idea of yes theres the holy Grail 'one' out there,and yet are never satisfied. Hence the G.I.G syndrome which is real,has nothing to do with people making themselves feel better.

I read,not only in this forum but in others,about guys who string women along then end up marrying the 'one' after a week. Please. Lo and all of a sudden jilted woman (or man)gets an I miss you,e-mail.

 

To me,Tom represents most of the people who posts on these forums. I doubt while people are posting and hurting, that the response would be like,well your dumper did tell you he or she doesnt want a relationship..?

i'm sure that will sit well. In a way we are all the naive fools when it comes to love or why else would this site be so popular.

 

Thats why I'm not on the 'Summer cheering squad here.. But I do understand from the last posters point of view.

Fact is (and this is the 3rd time i've seen this movie. Hey,i like the soundtrack: )Summer (as with many dumpers) was in charge of the relationship bc she could care less,never mind whether she laid her cards out or not. Did she enjoy being in charge? who knows she seems so ditzy anyway i dont think even she notices.

However gf here has this guy obsessing about her,hmm sound familiar to folks here on LS?

Just as the saying goes, the one who cares the least is the one who has the most power in the relationship.

Edited August 26, 2011 by MidnightinMadrid