grizzy Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 So last night my g/f who I've been dating 11 months and I are talking via text while she's at work. I was a little upset with her because I had an important meeting at 12 PM for work which she went all day without asking me how it went but sent me a text around 2 PM asking me to do her a favor after my meeting. She sent me a text around 6 PM asking if I'm mad at her because it's been awhile since I responded to her last text. I said no sorry I was busy. So around 7 PM she finally asked me how the meeting went. and i kept it simple and said good. Around 8 PM she asked so tell me about it what happened. i answered "oh so now you want to be nice and ask how it went after you ask me for a favor earlier." she responded and told me to go f myself. So she then shut her phone off until 11:30 that evening. Mind you I'm worried something happened because She never shuts her phone off like that. She finally turned it on around 11:30 but didn't pick up my calls. I sent her a few texts asking if she's ok. she finally answered "im okay. i don't want to talk to you right now leave me alone." so i called her and she picked up and I asked why was her phone off all night. she said she went out by herself to this pier/restaurant by her house to just think about life. she's been having an issue with her mother involving money. she said that she's tired of everyone me included and wants to be single right now. that her life has too many problems. im basically crushed because we just spent a great weekend together away and this comes totally out of left field besides our little fight earlier our relationship has been great! I let it be hung up and went to sleep. I called her this morning to see how shes feeling she said the same. she wants to be alone right now. she finally comes out and says the problem with our relationship is she feels alone in it. we are in a long distance relationship about 1 hour apart and we see each other 3 or 4 times per week. She's been complaining to me about not living together the past couple of months saying the relationship reminds her of high school and she wants to live together and see me everyday. And how she's getting turned off by that. So she continues on by saying she might as well be alone because she doesn't feel I'm there for her since I'm far away. So I go to her if why don't we move in together and remain a couple. she says ok so make it happen. Now I love this girl to the end of the world. I'm a little scared of making the big leap of moving in together. That's just me as a person. I'm open to it but I think my hesitation has killed the relationship. She always says she feels she's the only one that ever talks about living together. but I feel I'm being given an ultimatum indirectly right now. What should I do???
Author grizzy Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Any opinions or advice would be much appreciated!
Cee Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Yikes. The way your GF gets her way is to give you a sh*t test. This is not mature behavior, but it doesn't sound that terrible either. The two of you need to quit the texting and have conversations while you are sitting face-to-face. Moving in together is a big decision and you will need to talk finances and ground rules for living together. Provide reassurance to your girlfriend that you love her, but don't let her push you around on big decisions. Keep talking with her and follow your gut.
Casablanca Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Yikes. The way your GF gets her way is to give you a sh*t test. This is not mature behavior, but it doesn't sound that terrible either. The two of you need to quit the texting and have conversations while you are sitting face-to-face. Moving in together is a big decision and you will need to talk finances and ground rules for living together. Provide reassurance to your girlfriend that you love her, but don't let her push you around on big decisions. Keep talking with her and follow your gut. I echo this, talk with her all about this...moving in together is a big step...you just dont decide on a whim...need to think about it for a little bit...despite what some older school people will say on this site, there is nothing wrong with living together before engagement...but you gotta make sure it is for the right reasons...could part of the reason be she wants to save some money/get away from her mother? those arent good reasons to move in with a SO
Author grizzy Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 I echo this, talk with her all about this...moving in together is a big step...you just dont decide on a whim...need to think about it for a little bit...despite what some older school people will say on this site, there is nothing wrong with living together before engagement...but you gotta make sure it is for the right reasons...could part of the reason be she wants to save some money/get away from her mother? those arent good reasons to move in with a SO her mom doesnt live with her so it's not really financial gains in any way. plus my g/f makes more $$ than me right now so it's not money. i can't lie i'm def scared to take it to that next level. I'm worried we will lose the "spark" by seeing each other every day. I could be wrong. I'm a little of a commit-phob like that and enjoy my space. She wants me to move in her apt. since i work from home. Plus I don't like her apt. or the neighborhood. But her uncle is the super of the building so she gets a really good deal which is why she doesn't want to leave there for awhile. and my place is too so far from her job and I rent the second floor apt. in my moms house so it would be weird. I haven't heard from her all day which is odd. Idk what to do though? Should I reach out to setup a day to meet or wait for her to do that?
sm1tten Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I would think very carefully about whether you want to move in together or not, and under what circumstances you might want that, and then when you have made that decision -- reach out and talk to her. In person, preferably. The reason you feel like you've been given an ultimatmum is because you have been given one. Don't cave to save the relationship - it won't do any good in the end. You need to be honest with herself and with yourself about whether your needs and hers are meshing. But I'm going to be honest with you; if she feels alone seeing you 4x a week (which is a lot, in my opinion, but if you're into that, then good for you) then she's probably going to want a lot of time and attention when you're living together too. And, if you're the type of person who needs space, it's likely going to drive you crazy.
Recommended Posts