LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 As some may know, I just broke up with my long distance lover. I feel I am ready for another, close in proximity, but was resisting the idea because I do not want it to be so-so, a rebound. I do not want to meet someone online or in a bar. I would love to meet someone in person. The problem is men flirt daily, and show interest, but never go further, and initiate personal contact, and 89-91 percent of the flirts, I would never have interest in pursuing. That leaves a small percent, and then you have to weed out married and so on. I am looking for someone who is not interested in marriage or a serious relationship in the long run, and enjoys female friendship, emotional and physical ties, although loves to be spontaneous, exciting, and fun!!! No hang ups. Most importantly intelligent and has a zest for all adventures life has to offer and does not take it too seriously, but also loves to engage in conversation and debate. My question is how to go about it? I have a few men in contact from long ago, but I have no interest in them. It is difficult to engage with men at work, because men are intimidated by sexual harassment suits, true or not, and taking things further than flirting, is a huge risk for them to take. Besides online, bars, and church, places I am not interested in meeting men, it seems like I have to fall back on chance again. I am not one to ask a man out, and I know there is the fear, I will reject an offer, that is a huge chance one has to make, and many men fear rejection. Wish it was easier. I know going online would be a circus of suitors, but I am not at all into that scene, and feel blah, reading any profiles, just not my thing. I miss my lover, terribly.
Professor X Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I feel I am ready for another, close in proximity, but was resisting the idea because I do not want it to be so-so, a rebound. Well, it does sound like you're heading that way right now. You aren't ready and whatever you will get right now will be so-so/rebound to some extend. I get it, you got a hole that you want to refill, but I can promise you it won't be as good.. Just a temporary band-aid. But for your question: If you are interested in meeting a specific type of people outside the online area, than the best way is to simply to go places where the chances of those people to appear is highest. Although from all that you've written I think the best you can do is to just go with the flow - don't eliminate men you might meet online/bar/church because, well, life can surprise you.
musemaj11 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 The loudest complainer of how the era of the gentlemen has ended, is acting so much like a lady herself ... Oh, the irony.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Well, it does sound like you're heading that way right now. You aren't ready and whatever you will get right now will be so-so/rebound to some extend. I get it, you got a hole that you want to refill, but I can promise you it won't be as good.. Just a temporary band-aid. But for your question: If you are interested in meeting a specific type of people outside the online area, than the best way is to simply to go places where the chances of those people to appear is highest. Although from all that you've written I think the best you can do is to just go with the flow - don't eliminate men you might meet online/bar/church because, well, life can surprise you. I love your responses. You are right. But, then again maybe by chance, some exciting and beautiful spirit will appear! Wishes may come true, lol. I will stick with chance for now and definitely need to change shift gears from neutral to flirty.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 The loudest complainer of how the era of the gentlemen has ended, is acting so much like a lady herself ... Oh, the irony. Ha ha ha! You are funny! What is your definition of a lady, Maj? Please, do not hesitate to respond, my anticipation for your response is in overdrive.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 LaS youre not ready to date yet. Youre still missing your ex, so youre just not ready to date yet. If you dont want a long term relationship and you just want something casual for company, you really just want a booty call. Theres nothing wrong with that, but like X said, it wont make you less lonely. Plus you will still have to date a few guys to find the one that you will want to spend more time with. You will have to face rejection as well as reject guys, and not think about their feelings. Well really, you wont hurt their feelings, so you dont have to worry about that. They wont be magically appear at your door while you stay home, so if you want to meet them in person, you have to attend more parties, and expose yourself to play the man numbers. If your percentage of 100 guys that flirt with you is 89 percent that youre not interested in, you'll just have to get 200 guys to flirt with you so you can wade thru the extra 10 guys to find the gem.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Hi Eddie, not liking booty call, do not know your definition of it. But the meaning of lover extends past booty call, in my heart. There has been many discussion lately of FWB, BF, GF and what are the differences and similarities. I have never cared to put labels on friendships. People get hung up on labels and what this label entitles them, from being in the relationship. I do prefer open relationships, care free, and light, but also more meaning than booty calls or FWBs. But, open relationships are not without their problems. I had a long term open relationship awhile back with a guy. We shared everything. We were cool with dating others. There were many instances, that were not, however. I went out for the evening, and met a gorgeous, fun, funny, and life of the party guy. I saw that my friend was there with friends and a date. I just kept my distance. I was leaving with fun guy to go to an after party with many of his friends, gals and guys, and load, stock, and barrel, out the door, comes friend, barreling down toward fun guy, ready to pummel him, his friends, took about 6 of them, holding him back from killing the guy. I ended up just going home with my friend, did not want to, escalate the situation. Another time, same long term friend, was getting ready for date, who was already there with friends waiting for him to finish getting dressed. I told them all to have fun, met the nice gal, and mentioned I was hanging back, and just wanted to take a shower, well, in the shower comes lover boy, and lol, we were in there a looooong time, I cannot tell you what everyone was thinking out there. But, by the time we got out, everyone had deserted. Ha ha! Fun times.
zengirl Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I think it's funny when people care so much WHERE they meet someone. But other places to meet men: social clubs/classes, volunteering, local events, through friends, and technically anywhere in public . . . I don't know what your "not going to ask him" extends to. Would you go up and talk to an attractive man if you saw him? That's not asking a guy out, but some girls consider it so/some don't. I meet people all over (not guys for dating now, because I'm taken). Besides loud club-like places (which I'm rarely in anyway), I cannot imagine a "bad" place to meet a guy. Anywhere I go is a place I like and thus a good place to meet people. If you don't want to go online because it's not your thing to read profiles, that's fine; I know people like that, and I think it's understandable (if something would bum you out, why would you do it?). But anytime you limit yourself in any way, you're making the pool smaller, so make sure whatever you're limiting yourself with it's only based on, "This doesn't sound fun." Just getting in the habit of talking to strangers can help enhance your social life immensely. You never know where you'll meet someone.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 I think it's funny when people care so much WHERE they meet someone. But other places to meet men: social clubs/classes, volunteering, local events, through friends, and technically anywhere in public . . . I don't know what your "not going to ask him" extends to. Would you go up and talk to an attractive man if you saw him? That's not asking a guy out, but some girls consider it so/some don't. I meet people all over (not guys for dating now, because I'm taken). Besides loud club-like places (which I'm rarely in anyway), I cannot imagine a "bad" place to meet a guy. Anywhere I go is a place I like and thus a good place to meet people. If you don't want to go online because it's not your thing to read profiles, that's fine; I know people like that, and I think it's understandable (if something would bum you out, why would you do it?). But anytime you limit yourself in any way, you're making the pool smaller, so make sure whatever you're limiting yourself with it's only based on, "This doesn't sound fun." Just getting in the habit of talking to strangers can help enhance your social life immensely. You never know where you'll meet someone. Basically going about it like this. What I meant about particular places, is that I am not out on a search. I talk to strangers, outgoing, when I feel like sharing.
sally4sara Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Just sounds to me like more viral thought by a man with a female moniker. Fodder to open up the bitter brigade flood gates for more "this is why its so hard for men!" and "women are all slutty and awful!" posts. yawn
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Just sounds to me like more viral thought by a man with a female moniker. Fodder to open up the bitter brigade flood gates for more "this is why its so hard for men!" and "women are all slutty and awful!" posts. yawn This has been a pleasant thread, until you decided to open your own, "Bitter," flood gate. The feedback has been helpful. Why do you need to stalk my posts, and make up false innuendos. Not all women wish to go in hot pursuit of men, and date all over, in hopes to secure a relationship. Sorry, this not what I am after.
sally4sara Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 This has been a pleasant thread, until you decided to open your own, "Bitter," flood gate. The feedback has been helpful. Why do you need to stalk my posts, and make up false innuendos. Not all women wish to go in hot pursuit of men, and date all over, in hopes to secure a relationship. Sorry, this not what I am after. I never suggested that was your goal or the goal of anyone. This is part of why I don't believe you are a woman. You always find these ways to suggest other women who post, even in a nicer way than I do, are somehow - unsavory and then attribute actions to them they never even mention. I'm not even looking to secure a relationship of any kind but you couldn't resist trying to allude that I run is a particular manner so beneath you. And all your posts are the kind that the archetype woman the bitter fellas on here get all angry over would post. The tidbits you share about your personal life and the claims you make don't add up. If you combine all that with how sugary you respond to male posters no matter what they post - it all says XY. If I promise to cry over you alluding to me being in "hot pursuit of men, and date all over, in hopes to secure a relationship", will you promise to not show me the boner my forced tears gives you?
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 I never suggested that was your goal or the goal of anyone. This is part of why I don't believe you are a woman. You always find these ways to suggest other women who post, even in a nicer way than I do, are somehow - unsavory and then attribute actions to them they never even mention. I'm not even looking to secure a relationship of any kind but you couldn't resist trying to allude that I run is a particular manner so beneath you. And all your posts are the kind that the archetype woman the bitter fellas on here get all angry over would post. The tidbits you share about your personal life and the claims you make don't add up. If you combine all that with how sugary you respond to male posters no matter what they post - it all says XY. If I promise to cry over you alluding to me being in "hot pursuit of men, and date all over, in hopes to secure a relationship", will you promise to not show me the boner my forced tears gives you? Oh gross, I do not really care what you think, however, I do see you freaking out, if someone, gosh, makes innuendos in regards toward you. If you do not like my posts, simple answer, do not reply. All I see you doing is not putting forth good nor bad advice, but just stirring the pot, and stirring of up uneccessary drama. This thread is about me specifically and is not an attempt to stir up the, yawn, gender war.
sally4sara Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Oh gross, I do not really care what you think, however, I do see you freaking out, if someone, gosh, makes innuendos in regards toward you. If you do not like my posts, simple answer, do not reply. All I see you doing is not putting forth good nor bad advice, but just stirring the pot, and stirring of up uneccessary drama. This thread is about me specifically and is not an attempt to stir up the, yawn, gender war. I'm not doing anything for your benefit. I'm pointing out the obvious so others do not waste their time on you.
donnamaybe Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I'm not doing anything for your benefit. I'm pointing out the obvious so others do not waste their time on you. Yeah, you're right s4s. It just doesn't add up, does it? All this talk about a $400 bottle of wine and expensive dinner being purchased. By who? The long distance guy? Is that a new android app?
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Yeah, you're right s4s. It just doesn't add up, does it? All this talk about a $400 bottle of wine and expensive dinner being purchased. By who? The long distance guy? Is that a new android app? Oh My Goodness I could literally buy a TON of stuff for that price, I would rather buy stuff for the horse I lease, books, and probably a new pair of boots because I have literally worn holes in the soles of my shoes. AHH!! I don't spend $400 on anything AT ALL!! Haha I am such a cheap date I am happy walking through a park or a drive in theater lol!! Oh well . Is that a bad thing?
sally4sara Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Yeah, you're right s4s. It just doesn't add up, does it? All this talk about a $400 bottle of wine and expensive dinner being purchased. By who? The long distance guy? Is that a new android app? You mean like those cyber pet toys they kids were all about that you had to "feed" and "play with" to prevent them from "dying"? I wonder if you have to have "sex" with cyber BF after he "buys you expensive dinner"?
donnamaybe Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Oh My Goodness I could literally buy a TON of stuff for that price, I would rather buy stuff for the horse I lease, books, and probably a new pair of boots because I have literally worn holes in the soles of my shoes. AHH!! I don't spend $400 on anything AT ALL!! Haha I am such a cheap date I am happy walking through a park or a drive in theater lol!! Oh well . Is that a bad thing? Nope. That's a good thing. It means you understand the value of a dollar and you're more interested about what's inside the mind of the guy rather than what's inside his wallet.
donnamaybe Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 You mean like those cyber pet toys they kids were all about that you had to "feed" and "play with" to prevent them from "dying"? I wonder if you have to have "sex" with cyber BF after he "buys you expensive dinner"? Well, that's actually a good thought, but I was thinking more along the lines of a cyber merlot and cyber lobster.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Well, that's actually a good thought, but I was thinking more along the lines of a cyber merlot and cyber lobster. Haha I would rather actually just eat!! Haha I wonder if it is like the sims and you can design your prefect guy?!?!
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Yeah, you're right s4s. It just doesn't add up, does it? All this talk about a $400 bottle of wine and expensive dinner being purchased. By who? The long distance guy? Is that a new android app? I knew it was too good to be true that you would not start flapping your gums again, go away, trying to engage in a thread without trolling. I do not care what you wish to believe or not believe in reference to me. I speak the truth and if you choose not to believe, go ahead, but please back off my threads if you have nothing nice to say or tough love to give out of caring and prior experience. Thank you, good bye, go along now.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Not at all, being a "cheap date" is not synonymous with being an invaluable date. Good to know!! I swear some of my guy friends are more picky then me. I eat pretty much anything except McDonalds and fast food cause that is nasty. If I could go on a perfect date it would be a picknick in a park/forest preserve and then a bike ride/walk. But then again I am pretty easy going.
donnamaybe Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Good to know!! I swear some of my guy friends are more picky then me. I eat pretty much anything except McDonalds and fast food cause that is nasty. If I could go on a perfect date it would be a picknick in a park/forest preserve and then a bike ride/walk. But then again I am pretty easy going. McDonald's has some pretty good salads these days at least. But yeah, a picnic and a bike ride or hike sounds like a fantastic date! You come home from something like that feeling so good and - how should I say it - aired out!
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 I'm not doing anything for your benefit. I'm pointing out the obvious so others do not waste their time on you. "I'm not doing anything for your benefit." EXACTLY...good bye, there is no reason to come bashing my threads. Away...away..with you.
sally4sara Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I knew it was too good to be true that you would not start flapping your gums again, go away, trying to engage in a thread without trolling. I do not care what you wish to believe or not believe in reference to me. I speak the truth and if you choose not to believe, go ahead, but please back off my threads if you have nothing nice to say or tough love to give out of caring and prior experience. Thank you, good bye, go along now. I'm pretty sure all threads on LS belong to a fella named Tony. How many licks does it take to get to the truth of a thread made by a troll without also committing a little trolling along the way? The world may never know.......
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