Doing the best I can

[WindWhisperer]

My ex broke up with me last Sunday.

And thankfully I have managed NO CONTACT since them.

So 9 days... and I have managed to avoid any type of contact AT ALL. Its been really difficult.

Feel like I have been completely forgotten.

Im doing ok...I think.

I started a new job which is a good distraction and have my friends but I have my moments of weakness.

 

We broke up because he realised he was unhappy with life in general and didnt know why. He said he needs to figure out life and what he needs to do with it and has to do it alone.

We were both aware of our relationship issues. He said he needs to figure out why he is emotionally unattached, why he is "scared" of where the relationship is going and why he cant just be the decent boyfriend he wants to be.

 

I didnt fight for him because I knew there would be no point. I tried my best and he wanted to let me go.

He cried the day we ended it so I know he was hurting too.

 

I read the thread about the G.I.G. syndrome and I do believe this is what he is going through.

I am doiing my best to focus on the NEGATIVE parts of the relationship... but its just not working.

The 2nd week has actually been worse.

It was like last week I was numb or still in shock and no I am a weeping mess.

 

I hate this.

I just wanted to post here so if others see me posting on other threads...they do know I am going through the same thing

I

[fauxleather]

Maintain NC. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

[ConfusedT]

YES, stay strong with NC. im day 7, so good for you. I didnt maintain NC and i literally BEGGED for him to be with me. how embarassing.

if he's not happy with himself, he can't truly make you happy. kinda goes for loving himself too, ya know!

 

mine did everything wrong, i forgave & then he left. everything that you go through makes u stronger, there is a lesson in ALL OF THIS, there always is. we're just not at the point where we can see it.

 

i seriously lost myself through this relationship (LIKE I NEVER DID BEFORE) and it fell apart, so something else *myself* could be whole again.

 

im typing and my eyes are watering. i feel your pain tho, just be strong & NC!

[WindWhisperer]

thanx for the replies.

Confused, I appreciate the input and my thoughts are with you.

We both seem to be going through a rough time so Im hoping we both stay strong.

 

I think ive managed NOT to contact him because I know nothing would change IF he did change his mind.

It would be me doing the work all over again.

Not fair on me and Id probably be down the same road again.

 

If he wants me back

ITS HIS JOB TO DO SO!!!!!!

 

If he doesnt....

so be it.

Life will go on.

[ConfusedT]

thanx for the replies.

Confused, I appreciate the input and my thoughts are with you.

We both seem to be going through a rough time so Im hoping we both stay strong.

 

I think ive managed NOT to contact him because I know nothing would change IF he did change his mind.

It would be me doing the work all over again.

Not fair on me and Id probably be down the same road again.

 

If he wants me back

ITS HIS JOB TO DO SO!!!!!!

 

If he doesnt....

so be it.

Life will go on.

 

 

you dont know how strong you are for being able NOT to contact him. that is true strength! it was TOO much for me to even handle. so used to pouring my heart out to him that when HE was the problem, it didn't feel right turning to anyone else. SO sad that he was the one that caused it all and now i have to fix it!

 

anything you allow someone to do to you, they will if they don't respect you, are immature or are selfish. life will go on. i decided to try to begin forgiving him today, i am just holding a grudge & its hurting me bc he doesnt care anyways!!

[Lost on Jerseyshore]

Stay strong whisper and confused, I am also trying to do just that and I am just a sick mess inside and out. I went for a massage today and a haircut. Spent money I shouldnt have on me but I had to do something to make it through the day....lol I am angry with myself for falling in love again after I allready went through this heartbreak before with my divorce. I actually have the thoughts playing in my mind that I am just not worthy of happiness with a soulmate and maybe I should be alone forever, because I just cant handle this kind of pain ever again...

[ConfusedT]

Stay strong whisper and confused, I am also trying to do just that and I am just a sick mess inside and out. I went for a massage today and a haircut. Spent money I shouldnt have on me but I had to do something to make it through the day....lol I am angry with myself for falling in love again after I allready went through this heartbreak before with my divorce. I actually have the thoughts playing in my mind that I am just not worthy of happiness with a soulmate and maybe I should be alone forever, because I just cant handle this kind of pain ever again...

 

=(. im so sorry! dont ever feel that way! of course you are worthy, even tho you might now feel it at this time, everyone is! & you will meet them eventually! good to spend money on yourself tho!!

 

just know that everything happens for a reason and it'll teach us something.

 

=)

[wilsonx]

My ex broke up with me last Sunday.

And thankfully I have managed NO CONTACT since them.

So 9 days... and I have managed to avoid any type of contact AT ALL. Its been really difficult.

Feel like I have been completely forgotten.

Im doing ok...I think.

I started a new job which is a good distraction and have my friends but I have my moments of weakness.

 

We broke up because he realised he was unhappy with life in general and didnt know why. He said he needs to figure out life and what he needs to do with it and has to do it alone.

We were both aware of our relationship issues. He said he needs to figure out why he is emotionally unattached, why he is "scared" of where the relationship is going and why he cant just be the decent boyfriend he wants to be.

 

I didnt fight for him because I knew there would be no point. I tried my best and he wanted to let me go.

He cried the day we ended it so I know he was hurting too.

 

I read the thread about the G.I.G. syndrome and I do believe this is what he is going through.

I am doiing my best to focus on the NEGATIVE parts of the relationship... but its just not working.

The 2nd week has actually been worse.

It was like last week I was numb or still in shock and no I am a weeping mess.

 

I hate this.

I just wanted to post here so if others see me posting on other threads...they do know I am going through the same thing

I

 

 

Hey whisper, Good job on not fighting and staying on the NC.

 

It takes a lot of time to kick him off the pedestal that hes on. Just keep doing what you are doing and soon enough, you will be there.

 

It gets a lot harder before it gets easier just stick with it, you are doing a lot better then I was when I went through this =)

[WindWhisperer]

Thanks for all the replies.

 

Im not doing really good right now.

I seem to be ok during the day and then the night time brings on the tears and being miserable.

Yes I have friends who love and support me but they all have lives on their own and I cant expect someone to babysit me every night.

 

I realised the reason It seems so difficult now is because I cant believe he has actually not contacted me in 10 days. A part of me must have been hoping for it and I know that was a silly thing to do.

Its hitting me that this person who I love more than anything has been ripped out of my life. Its surreal. Its so incredibly painful.

I still havent contacted him and I dont want to. I know I cant and besides what would I even say?

 

Just hating this pain. Its the worst feeling in the world.

[ConfusedT]

Thanks for all the replies.

 

Im not doing really good right now.

I seem to be ok during the day and then the night time brings on the tears and being miserable.

Yes I have friends who love and support me but they all have lives on their own and I cant expect someone to babysit me every night.

 

I realised the reason It seems so difficult now is because I cant believe he has actually not contacted me in 10 days. A part of me must have been hoping for it and I know that was a silly thing to do.

Its hitting me that this person who I love more than anything has been ripped out of my life. Its surreal. Its so incredibly painful.

I still havent contacted him and I dont want to. I know I cant and besides what would I even say?

 

Just hating this pain. Its the worst feeling in the world.

 

thats my thing, i cant expect someone to babysit with at night and cry with me to sleep. i have to do this on me own!! of course you are hoping for it, hell i am too, that he'll just wake up and be like HEY- i am so sorry, but ugh, it is probably NOT going to happen!!

 

this pain is THE WORST because we cant do anything but let time heal it. other people cant heal it, only the person that caused it can and we can alone.

 

i still want to contact him everyday, but honestly, after what he did and said to me- HE should be begging me back. i almost broke down this morning around 30 minutes ago, but i stopped myself. i know i would have regretted it!!

 

feel better!

[danceallday]

WindWhisperer - some things that helped me. NC; long walks in parks, spa (hair, nails, make-up), writing all the things down that I hated about my ex, writing down all the b.s. that I will not have to put up with anymore (i.e. his stupid friend that I hate), taking a little something like tylenol p.m. to help me sleep (I won't be doing this forever), and getting the nook book "A Girl's Guide to a Break Up."

 

Surround yourself with non-judgmental friends. Have a wing man/girl - that is the person you can call no matter what and they will listen to you.

 

Do not blame yourself, do not expect answers to your questions of why.

 

Find new experiences for yourself that are not associated with your ex.

 

Work on your own happiness. When you are a happy fulfilled person, you can be so with another person. You cannot depend on someone else for your happiness.

 

Realize that you are not alone and many, many people are feeling and experiencing the same thing as you are.

 

Be well.

[WindWhisperer]

THANX again for all the replies.

They did help a little.

Even though I am suffering, this has taught me how strong I actually am.

Just have to wait it out