Author Bgirl Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Well thank you .. yes this thread has brought a lot of clarity to me, I'm waaaay to trusty and yes I genuily care about people so I automatically assume that others will care about me too.. what do you mean he won't respect me? Puff time to wake up! Is interesting backgrounds is now in the picture, I am hispanic and it also has a lot to do with my culture and how I view relationships, hence the reason why I can't and won't do casual relationships..you just don't see a lot of these back home. Yes, I have been told Latin men tend to be more caring, and yes I don't want to get into stereotyping here but I mainly attract a certain type of men ( geographically wise) my friends would always tell me " Ahhh I'm not surprised!" I literally attract this type of men .. and surprinsingly the doctor shared a similar background. Maybe I should venture to different waters.
sm1tten Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I don't think ugliness is limited to any particular background. It wasn't a "Western" man who punched me in the face, for example, it was a South American. But anyway... I do think that you, Bgirl, dodged a bullet and hopefully learned some lessons. No matter who the guy or his background or how you met or whatever, trust should be earned, not freely given.
zengirl Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 I don't think that is limited to just people with a Western background. I can guarantee it isn't. I've traveled the world, and there are awesome and crap people everywhere.
Lovelybird Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 (The exception would be the players who really go all out and chase and chase and do crazy **** and will keep it up for months on end without sex, but they're a whole different psychology and super rare. And I can spot them too, but they will occasionally try.) how do you spot them? sorry but women are attention whores & talking on the phone or txting them regularly has NEVER gotten me laid. (unless it was dirty talk). It just left me feeling like a chump for investing time & energy into a tease. Prioritize sex over relationship, obviously you are not relationship material
zengirl Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 how do you spot them? I was good friends with a guy like that when I was young. (He was my fiance's older brother, and we still keep in touch, and he's still like that, and more dangerous now at 30. But he talks to me like a little sister, obviously.) So. . . just experience/knowledge, I guess. It's mostly a gut thing, but there's something in the way they try to control the situations. If you avoid control, you avoid them; their game is all about control.
Crabbies Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 "BE REALISTIC ON MEN. If you're tending to go for guys with massive egos, bits of narcissism, shallow yuppies, bad boys, ladies men, etc...then expect this behavior. You might want to think about the guys who can't easily get a woman into bed. A decent or even good looking one who perhaps is a bit "nice guy" and thus will respect you. If you're hopelessly attracted only to more narcissistic types, then it'll be a tough road." Good advice. If you want to lock down a high status guy you're going to have to be high status yourself. Don't listen to your friends on this; they're your friends for a reason and though it may be well intentioned, their "evaluations" of you might not be fully honest. Friends tend to pander to your ego instead giving an objective opinion much of the time. There's never a problem with you, and the other guy is immature, a fool,. whatever. Even if you are beautiful, in cities like LA, New York beautiful women are a dime a dozen. I know some guys who do medicine in NY(Jewish of course lol) and they date multiple nurses who're educated and beautiful, and it's an open secret. When they go clubbing the more douchebaggy ones where the _,_ MD cards and clean up. Pretty much these guys are minicelebrities and in the hospital they're gods. The ones who aren't socially retarded have crazy options, and they know it. Are you high status? can you realistically see yourself being chosen to be the wife gf of a doctor? the only ones who get more status respect are pilots, astronauts or rock stars/actors, pro sportsmen... What girl in the world doesn't want to marry a doctor? Even if they're ugly they have more p*ssy on speed dial than most men ever will have, except for the other occupations mentioned. all those girls want to be the wife...He ain't gonna marry 'em all... I'm not an 17yr old highschool girl. I got better things to do than yap on the phone or txt for hrs with some chick that isn't even having sex with me. sorry but women are attention whores & talking on the phone or txting them regularly has NEVER gotten me laid. (unless it was dirty talk). It just left me feeling like a chump for investing time & energy into a tease. Look at what you wrote. Only 2 dates & you are expecting him to treat you like a GF. 2 dates isn't time for him to even figure out if your just using him for attention. I've taken women on 3 or 4 dates only to have them *poof* so he's doing it right by not getting emotionally invested in a woman who comes to his place after 2 dates, drinks, climbs into bed with him then refuses sex. He did it right. He's not pining away, he's onto the next woman. Sounds about right...
zengirl Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Are you high status? can you realistically see yourself being chosen to be the wife gf of a doctor? the only ones who get more status respect are pilots, astronauts or rock stars/actors, pro sportsmen... What girl in the world doesn't want to marry a doctor? Even if they're ugly they have more p*ssy on speed dial than most men ever will have, except for the other occupations mentioned. all those girls want to be the wife...He ain't gonna marry 'em all... Are you from the U.S.? Pilots have like no status here now. That's kind of a crappy job, isn't it? It doesn't pay well anymore, it's rarely FT these days, and you don't need a college education for it. Though most pilots seem to be pilots because they love to do it, so more power to them. Doctors are high status, as are all high-paying educated careers, but I'd say (a) it depends on the kind of doctor (are we talking surgeon?), and I'd say that a good-looking doctor, lawyer, wall street guy, architect, or entrepreneur all do equally well. I don't think doctor carries particularly high status, compared to other similar paying/educated careers these days anymore. Wouldn't most shallow girls seek an MBA over an MD these days? I don't really know for sure, but I know quite a few young docs, and none of them are the players you make them out to be here. Maybe they need to grow into it, I don't know.
Author Bgirl Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 If I'm high status? No I don't have an MD and I'm not a doctor of any sorts. However, I don't consider myself 'low status' either. What I mean by that is that I do have a good paying job, have a good social circle and I am very presentable. If I see myself marrying one? I do and I don't. I do because we share the same life styles, we visit the same places, belong to the same clubs, live in the same areas of the city etc. And I don't because, my experience, they have all been shallow and stuck in their own glory, they are always too good to care. But this is the thing, all men I have dated have been 'high status' doctors, engineers, investors, business owners, etc.. Their status doesnt blown me away , I can , thankfully, afford good things for myself. I just want a decent 'middle class' guy without all the bells ans whizzles, someone that doesn't carry that 'prestige' bubble around them.
dasein Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 So.... want to know the end of my story? He texted me back today , to a question that I had asked him on Sunday (I thought I left my debit card but I didnt) .. today he replied " Nope you didn't" So I just got back to him and said " Txs for the reply but I dont think you have time for this, I'm not interested" And he got back to me saying " I understand, best of luck!! " Pretty obvious we were haeding this way. Good for him, doctors really are smarter it seems.
dasein Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I don't think doctor carries particularly high status, compared to other similar paying/educated careers these days anymore. Wouldn't most shallow girls seek an MBA over an MD these days? Flat wrong. I know/have known tons of doctors all over the country, it's a free p-ssy pass from all strata of women moreso than even investment bankers making 10x as much money as a doc. Probably something to do with the warm-fuzzy of taking care of people, who knows, but docs still outpull all other competition. Shallow girls don't actually understand business or finance, so are the easiest to fool incidentally, and can't make any kind of valid comparison between men other than visible possessions and conspicuous consumption. Those types are the most likely to chase MDs as a matter of course.
zengirl Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Flat wrong. I know/have known tons of doctors all over the country, it's a free p-ssy pass from all strata of women moreso than even investment bankers making 10x as much money as a doc. Probably something to do with the warm-fuzzy of taking care of people, who knows, but docs still outpull all other competition. Shallow girls don't actually understand business or finance, so are the easiest to fool incidentally, and can't make any kind of valid comparison between men other than visible possessions and conspicuous consumption. Those types are the most likely to chase MDs as a matter of course. Weird. As I said, some of my doc friends (young, yes) are broke as a joke. Their net worth is lower than mine (traveler/teacher/nonprofit lady) and so is their salaries, and I have no debt. And am not rich. None of my doc friends would be interested in dating anyone without a college degree, though, and they aren't players.
EasyHeart Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Are you from the U.S.? Pilots have like no status here now. That's kind of a crappy job, isn't it? It doesn't pay well anymore, it's rarely FT these days, and you don't need a college education for it. Though most pilots seem to be pilots because they love to do it, so more power to them. Doctors are high status, as are all high-paying educated careers, but I'd say (a) it depends on the kind of doctor (are we talking surgeon?), and I'd say that a good-looking doctor, lawyer, wall street guy, architect, or entrepreneur all do equally well. I don't think doctor carries particularly high status, compared to other similar paying/educated careers these days anymore. Wouldn't most shallow girls seek an MBA over an MD these days? I don't really know for sure, but I know quite a few young docs, and none of them are the players you make them out to be here. Maybe they need to grow into it, I don't know.I think it depends upon your cultural niche. I never thought much of pilots myself, but apparently some women find them irresistible, and pilots are notorious players. Some women think cops and firemen are at the top of the desirability scale, and some would take a dashing EMT over a doctor any day. I know one woman who won't look twice at a lawyer or MBA, but gets weak in the knees the moment she glimpses an Army or Navy guy. Different strokes, yadda yadda yadda.
zengirl Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I think it depends upon your cultural niche. I never thought much of pilots myself, but apparently some women find them irresistible, and pilots are notorious players. Some women think cops and firemen are at the top of the desirability scale, and some would take a dashing EMT over a doctor any day. I know one woman who won't look twice at a lawyer or MBA, but gets weak in the knees the moment she glimpses an Army or Navy guy. Different strokes, yadda yadda yadda. Oh, true. I was talking about those ladies seeking rich men, which was what they referred to. I think architects are the sexiest, though I've never dated one. I tend to date engineers and programmers. They make a good living, but the golddiggers rarely bother with them. (I suppose they are like an untapped mine.) But I don't like them for their potential earning power. If my BF quit his job to go be a science teacher tomorrow, I'd be cool with that.
Crabbies Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 If I'm high status? No I don't have an MD and I'm not a doctor of any sorts. However, I don't consider myself 'low status' either. What I mean by that is that I do have a good paying job, have a good social circle and I am very presentable. If I see myself marrying one? I do and I don't. I do because we share the same life styles, we visit the same places, belong to the same clubs, live in the same areas of the city etc. And I don't because, my experience, they have all been shallow and stuck in their own glory, they are always too good to care. But this is the thing, all men I have dated have been 'high status' doctors, engineers, investors, business owners, etc.. Their status doesnt blown me away , I can , thankfully, afford good things for myself. I just want a decent 'middle class' guy without all the bells ans whizzles, someone that doesn't carry that 'prestige' bubble around them. My dear, you misunderstand, (like so many women nowadays)... High status for women and men are not the same thing.... How hot, physically attractive are you? Shapely, or slender figure? Beautiful, hair eyes and esp. face? Healthy, youthful-looking? Nicely dressed? These are the top choices for most men, this is what I mean by high-status. The kind of girl who walks into a bar, restaurant, shop and all eyes on her, a knockout... Really, I mean, not what your friends say. This is still, (for some, unfortunately) how status of women is judged.... Flat wrong. I know/have known tons of doctors all over the country, it's a free p-ssy pass from all strata of women moreso than even investment bankers making 10x as much money as a doc. Probably something to do with the warm-fuzzy of taking care of people, who knows, but docs still outpull all other competition. Shallow girls don't actually understand business or finance, so are the easiest to fool incidentally, and can't make any kind of valid comparison between men other than visible possessions and conspicuous consumption. Those types are the most likely to chase MDs as a matter of course. Every girl's mother would like her to bring home a doctor... I'd say that was pretty much universal. Regardless of the financial realities...
Sanman Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Weird. As I said, some of my doc friends (young, yes) are broke as a joke. Their net worth is lower than mine (traveler/teacher/nonprofit lady) and so is their salaries, and I have no debt. And am not rich. None of my doc friends would be interested in dating anyone without a college degree, though, and they aren't players. It is the myth of the doctor that gets women. The average woman at a bar not in finance or tech can't tell the difference between a five figure guy and a seven figure guy by the job title or any other obvious sign. However, the term doctor usually means that career will terminate with a six figure income and upper middle class lifestyle. It is easy. People have no idea how broke a young doctor can be between loans and residency pay.
Author Bgirl Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 @ Crabbies.. It's true! We do tend to see status in terms or money , career, possesions, etc. My friends told me ' Well it didnt work out but at least you dated a doctor"... I seriously don't get it. I am not going to lie, of course every woman wants to have a man that is financially secure but I don't get how people focus only on the prestige of the career and not on other attributes like relationship-readiness, communucation skills etc. If I am high status? Yes I am , I get complements on my body all the time (slender, athetic) and I do have a pretty face. I do dress nicely, more on the classy side, don't overly show my boobs or anything like that. Walkign on the street I get stopped even by woman all the time to compliment my hair, clothes etc. I don't want to shower myself with compliments, but you asked Now many people reading this might think, wow that's so lucky.. yes it's nice to look good but I also feel empty because most men in my life have only come to me to use my body and is like the only thing they see, they always want to jump in bed before even knowing me well I know I let them, partly due to low self esteem, I used to think that if a guy wants sex early on they will get hooked to something and stay with me... horrible I know. But I am working on it This is why saying no this guy, was a big "I feel proud of me moment" but I need to learn not to send the wrong signals and not to be scared to say what I want.
Crabbies Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 It is the myth of the doctor that gets women. The average woman at a bar not in finance or tech can't tell the difference between a five figure guy and a seven figure guy by the job title or any other obvious sign. However, the term doctor usually means that career will terminate with a six figure income and upper middle class lifestyle. It is easy. People have no idea how broke a young doctor can be between loans and residency pay. Lucky for them!
zengirl Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 It is the myth of the doctor that gets women. The average woman at a bar not in finance or tech can't tell the difference between a five figure guy and a seven figure guy by the job title or any other obvious sign. However, the term doctor usually means that career will terminate with a six figure income and upper middle class lifestyle. It is easy. People have no idea how broke a young doctor can be between loans and residency pay. I thought ER dispelled people of that myth. Not even all doctors wind up making that kind of money, but of course a doctor is a good, steady, generally well-paying job. I guess I just figured gold-diggers would do their research. Silly me.
Crabbies Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I'm sure "gold-diggers" do. I wouldn't say OP or the very many other women who would love to date and marry a doctor deserve that ridiculous label....
zengirl Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I'm sure "gold-diggers" do. I wouldn't say OP or the very many other women who would love to date and marry a doctor deserve that ridiculous label.... Oh, no! I was originally responding in reaction to a post that said he likely assumed she was after his wallet, and that's where that conversation came from. I don't think the OP is a golddigger. The lovely educated women I know might be impressed by a doctor, but they'd be more impressed by the dedication and intelligence it takes than the money. If he's in our age group (except for the older gals, maybe, who date closer to 40), he's probably making less than they are! All my friends do pretty alright. I'm probably on the poorest level, and as I said, since I've no debt, I do better than a medical resident. (In my area, my salary is comparable to what the local hospital pays their residents.)
Crabbies Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 If I am high status? Yes I am , I get complements on my body all the time (slender, athetic) and I do have a pretty face. I do dress nicely, more on the classy side, don't overly show my boobs or anything like that. Walkign on the street I get stopped even by woman all the time to compliment my hair, clothes etc. I don't want to shower myself with compliments, but you asked Now many people reading this might think, wow that's so lucky.. yes it's nice to look good but I also feel empty because most men in my life have only come to me to use my body and is like the only thing they see, they always want to jump in bed before even knowing me well I know I let them, partly due to low self esteem, I used to think that if a guy wants sex early on they will get hooked to something and stay with me... horrible I know. But I am working on it This is why saying no this guy, was a big "I feel proud of me moment" but I need to learn not to send the wrong signals and not to be scared to say what I want. Question: Are you high status? Answer: "I also feel empty because most men in my life have only come to me to use my body and is like the only thing they see, they always want to jump in bed before even knowing me well I know I let them, partly due to low self esteem, I used to think that if a guy wants sex early on they will get hooked to something and stay with me... horrible I know." or simply, "No..." You don't perceive yourself to be of high status or quality, so others don't/won't see it either... It doesn't matter a bit what anyone else, sees, feels, thinks of you. What you feel about yourself is what every guy you are interested in goes by. You see your sexuality as bait for a relationship. no matter how conservatively you dress you are probably sending out "up for it" signals because this is who you are and how you think. Until YOU change how you think about yourself, no man will. Nothing wrong with being sexual, sexy. but warm and loving will get you a different type of interest. Rather than an all-night Macdonalds; think of your lady garden as an exclusive private restaurant, only bookable months in advance, ridiculously expensive, that most people don't even know the address. they've heard whispers and rumours but to 99% of the population, not only will they never go there, they'll never even know where it is. It's out of their league, you see, that's value, or at least the perception of value... (I don't mean literally about the pricing structure:rolleyes:)
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