nyc_guy2003 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Banging body. Toned stomach, tight butt, the cutest face, the prettiest blue eyes.....ugh I should stop Which celebrity does she resemble?
Author ls32ssibm Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Which celebrity does she resemble? (God forgive me) Lexi Bell as a brunette. Swear to Jeebus. She's got the smile and everything. That's a porn star BTW. Don't judge or make assumptions.
Professor X Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Basically, 100% of our fights (literally 100%) are caused by her not putting out and me being a complete jerk about it afterward. I know sex isn't the most important thing but my situation can be difficult for me and I don't want to lose her because of this problem. Actually sex is just as important as other aspects and as you can see it is what causes you to have arguments. I think that you need to start considering that you're simply not sexually compatible. Just be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you're willing to live the rest of your life like this because it will NOT get any better. I don't know how much to emphasize about it, but it will NOT get any better! It only gets worse... And to think you've only been dating for 5 months...
Pierre Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 She may have a lower sex drive, but at age 23 that is unusual. I don't know how to say this in a nice way, but it could be she does not enjoy the intercourse as much as you do. She may very well be anorgasmic with penetrative sex and I suspect this is what most young men want. She may also be turned off by your vulgar use of words and the constant moaning of wanting more sex. If you don't press her she may actually give you more sex. You also need to understand women. They may get horny like males because of biology, but some women need romance to get horny. This constant persecution is not seen as romance, in particular when she does not enjoy intercourse with you. The act of sex at 5 months should happen spontaneously with no one chasing anyone. You are missing something and she is too young to even know what that is. Try to give her an orgasm with oral. Maybe she never had an orgasm, not uncommon in very young women. If she never had an orgasm she will not be enthusiastic about sex. Figure out what are her emotional needs. I suspect she probably thrives on romance, attention, and admiration. Learn how to make love to a woman without actually inserting your penis right away. Explore her body in a nonthreatening manner. Explore the fact that you may think everything is fine, but from her side there may be serious issues that you do not see or understand.
J0shua Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 This is a huuuuuuge red flag, especially at only five months in! Do NOT waste anymore time on this chick. It's NOT going to get better and YOU are not doing anything wrong (other than being a jerk about it afterwards). She doesn't like sex, and that isn't likely to change. You are in for years of misery if you stay with her. +1 from me on this. my current gf been with for 3 years... was ok the first 6 months, got like what you are saying after that.. the last 18 months we have probably had sex 4 times.. she just kept shutting me off.. every time i tried.. after the a zillionth shutdown... I just stopped trying.. and literally if i dont try she never will so we just go years without sex... don't know why i torture myself.
Tasha49 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 +1 from me on this. my current gf been with for 3 years... was ok the first 6 months, got like what you are saying after that.. the last 18 months we have probably had sex 4 times.. she just kept shutting me off.. every time i tried.. after the a zillionth shutdown... I just stopped trying.. and literally if i dont try she never will so we just go years without sex... don't know why i torture myself. Ohhh goodness! Sad
Professor X Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 +1 from me on this. my current gf been with for 3 years... was ok the first 6 months, got like what you are saying after that.. the last 18 months we have probably had sex 4 times.. she just kept shutting me off.. every time i tried.. after the a zillionth shutdown... I just stopped trying.. and literally if i dont try she never will so we just go years without sex... don't know why i torture myself. You better check that she isn't getting it somewhere else.
Tasha49 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 You better check that she isn't getting it somewhere else. Or end it if you plan on getting it somewhere else...
Professor X Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Or end it if you plan on getting it somewhere else... Or that
D-Lish Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 +1 from me on this. my current gf been with for 3 years... was ok the first 6 months, got like what you are saying after that.. the last 18 months we have probably had sex 4 times.. she just kept shutting me off.. every time i tried.. after the a zillionth shutdown... I just stopped trying.. and literally if i dont try she never will so we just go years without sex... don't know why i torture myself. Don't know why you haven't broken up with her, seriously.
AlexDP Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 She may have a lower sex drive, but at age 23 that is unusual. I don't know how to say this in a nice way, but it could be she does not enjoy the intercourse as much as you do. She may very well be anorgasmic with penetrative sex and I suspect this is what most young men want. She may also be turned off by your vulgar use of words and the constant moaning of wanting more sex. If you don't press her she may actually give you more sex. You also need to understand women. They may get horny like males because of biology, but some women need romance to get horny. This constant persecution is not seen as romance, in particular when she does not enjoy intercourse with you. The act of sex at 5 months should happen spontaneously with no one chasing anyone. You are missing something and she is too young to even know what that is. Try to give her an orgasm with oral. Maybe she never had an orgasm, not uncommon in very young women. If she never had an orgasm she will not be enthusiastic about sex. Figure out what are her emotional needs. I suspect she probably thrives on romance, attention, and admiration. Learn how to make love to a woman without actually inserting your penis right away. Explore her body in a nonthreatening manner. Explore the fact that you may think everything is fine, but from her side there may be serious issues that you do not see or understand. Though I agree with much of what you're saying, this is a bit of a stereotype. If she had a really high sex drive, she wouldn't care. Romance is fun and all, but sometimes a woman just wants sex. Also, with her being young and not having a huge interest in sex, she might be too self conscious for oral anyway.
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 (God forgive me) Lexi Bell as a brunette. Swear to Jeebus. She's got the smile and everything. That's a porn star BTW. Don't judge or make assumptions. I looked it up, I say she's a keeper. Are they similar, you know, anatomically speaking?
Pierre Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 The lady could have low testosterone levels. This is the hormone that truly enhances libido in women.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Though I agree with much of what you're saying, this is a bit of a stereotype. If she had a really high sex drive, she wouldn't care. Romance is fun and all, but sometimes a woman just wants sex. Also, with her being young and not having a huge interest in sex, she might be too self conscious for oral anyway. naa. He probably just sucks at sex. He's probably not giving her orgasms and comes off as selfish. Never met a 23 yr old man (or even plenty of 33 yr olds) who really knew what he was doing... not in my memory and not in my fairly recent history. Lots of stamina... not alot of skill. yawn. The connection they have though... that seems special and definately worth trying to keep. I read somewhere long ago that only 30% of women can reach orgasm through intercourse alone. She's probably part of the other 70% and just tired of his standard moves.. the old in-out-in-out. In any case, it certainly won't hurt him to get some education and stop blaming her. If he tries some new moves and she is still unresponsive, then he's got more moves for the next lady. Sounds like a win-win.
Pierre Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 naa. He probably just sucks at sex. He's probably not giving her orgasms and comes off as selfish. Never met a 23 yr old man (or even plenty of 33 yr olds) who really knew what he was doing... not in my memory and not in my fairly recent history. Lots of stamina... not alot of skill. yawn. The connection they have though... that seems special and definately worth trying to keep. I read somewhere long ago that only 30% of women can reach orgasm through intercourse alone. She's probably part of the other 70% and just tired of his standard moves.. the old in-out-in-out. In any case, it certainly won't hurt him to get some education and stop blaming her. If he tries some new moves and she is still unresponsive, then he's got more moves for the next lady. Sounds like a win-win. Exactly! Some of these young guys do not have a clue about how to please a woman.
Andy_K Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 What makes you so sure he doesn't already have the moves? It's perfectly possible for a guy to give his girlfriend at least one orgasm every time, and her sex drive still to be low.
Pierre Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 What makes you so sure he doesn't already have the moves? It's perfectly possible for a guy to give his girlfriend at least one orgasm every time, and her sex drive still to be low. You are correct, this is all speculation. However, we can rely on some provided facts and some general knowledge about female sexuality that is easily available to anyone that wants to look for it. 1. She does not want that much sex. 2. They fight because she does not want to have sex. That was mentioned by the OP. Only 30% of women have orgasms with penetration. This is a rather well known fact, but perhaps not well known to young men. Some young women have never experienced an orgasm--------------or rarely have orgasms. Generally speaking two (23 year olds) who have known each other for five months should have sex on a daily basis. Something is wrong! I don't suggest OP is a poor lover. However, perhaps he does not understand female sexuality. It is very nice to assume women are as horny as men. That works well for many women, but not all females are the same. Some need to be turned on in a special manner. Some women are very specific as to how and when they want sex and that does not mean there is anything wrong. BTW, I have known couples that had sex 4-5 times a day for a year and three years later they are celibate, I have also known couples that had sex 2-3 times week for the 1st year and still have sex 2-3 times a week 10 years later. Initial frequency is not a predictor of a long lasting satisfying sex life. Like someone else said: She could be on antidepressants which are known to kill libido and prevent orgasms. Maybe she was abused as a child. Maybe she is falling out of love. Maybe she has a different sexual clock and is simply incompatible. Maybe she is too estrogenized and lacks a bit of testo. If she has very smooth skin, nice hips, big breasts she could be a very estrogenic female with little testosterone. A woman with a high testosterone level is often associated with a bit of acne, body hair, large muscles, etc.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 What makes you so sure he doesn't already have the moves? It's perfectly possible for a guy to give his girlfriend at least one orgasm every time, and her sex drive still to be low. a 23 yr old?? Giving his girlfriend an orgasm every time?? HA HA HA HA. Ok, sorry... just going on past experience. That didn't happen for me until I was in my late 20's/early 30's and with my BF (later to be my husband and sadly ex-husband) for awhile. Took some time to get in sync. Sounds like the OP has some chance to get on that path with some effort on both their parts. Her lack of enthusiasm is probably NOT genetic. In any case, it won't hurt him to try something new. I really don't know what would be considered a 'low' sex drive. "low" is less than the other partner would like. These are situations every person needs to navigate as they mature in their sexual education. Both men and women.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 You are correct, this is all speculation. However, we can rely on some provided facts and some general knowledge about female sexuality that is easily available to anyone that wants to look for it. 1. She does not want that much sex. 2. They fight because she does not want to have sex. That was mentioned by the OP. Only 30% of women have orgasms with penetration. This is a rather well known fact, but perhaps not well known to young men. Some young women have never experienced an orgasm--------------or rarely have orgasms. Generally speaking two (23 year olds) who have known each other for five months should have sex on a daily basis. Something is wrong! I don't suggest OP is a poor lover. However, perhaps he does not understand female sexuality. It is very nice to assume women are as horny as men. That works well for many women, but not all females are the same. Some need to be turned on in a special manner. Some women are very specific as to how and when they want sex and that does not mean there is anything wrong. BTW, I have known couples that had sex 4-5 times a day for a year and three years later they are celibate, I have also known couples that had sex 2-3 times week for the 1st year and still have sex 2-3 times a week 10 years later. Initial frequency is not a predictor of a long lasting satisfying sex life. Like someone else said: She could be on antidepressants which are known to kill libido and prevent orgasms. Maybe she was abused as a child. Maybe she is falling out of love. Maybe she has a different sexual clock and is simply incompatible. Maybe she is too estrogenized and lacks a bit of testo. If she has very smooth skin, nice hips, big breasts she could be a very estrogenic female with little testosterone. A woman with a high testosterone level is often associated with a bit of acne, body hair, large muscles, etc. Informative post.. Thanks! antidepressants definately do kill libido. I was on them briefly after my fiancee died.. couldn't even give myself an orgasm. Big incentive to get off of them! Birth control is also awful. I switched to progesterone only when I was married and that helped alot... but requires alot of diligence. The ones that 'fake' pregnancy by making one not ovulate are the worst. Basically, it tells your body 'no need to reproduce'... Ultimately, I got my tubes tied. Best decision I ever made!!
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