2011aug Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 I just saw this, also. This is standard. The "wallet grab" is the oldest maneuver in the book. She knew you'd pay and probably expected it, but didn't want to come across as such. There were times when I just let it played out.
FinOuch Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 I know that some people are embarrassed to to have someone else pay the bill. So what I do is: Before the check arrives I pretend I am going to the bathroom and on my way I find the waiter and pay the check. In that manner I avoid that moment when the waiter comes to the table with check in hand. If she or they ask I simply say: "Is taken care off" and change topic. However, like Ruby most women will yield if I make it clear I have the bill. I audibly laughed when I read this. That is bloody brilliant! Great. Now I'm going to expect something equally impressive from dates.
PinkInTheLimo Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 On a first date I usually offer to go Dutch. Just so that there is no misunderstanding about me owning the guy anything because he treated me to a meal. It is a principal thing and does not mean that I like the guy or I dislike him. If we would go for more dates and something starts to blossom, I would accept to be treated (but would also treat him from time to time).
richardwordoff Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 Paying for someone else is an antiquated custom for when women did not use to work. Now that they work there is no reason everyone can't pay their own share. If a woman expects you to pay all the time, what do you think she will expect once you're in a relationship? If it is a special event then yeah you can pay for someone but in general no. Also, some women actually go on at least one date just to get something for free (or let a guy get them a drink). You don't want to be a sucker do you?
Bullet Proof Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 I always offer to pay or get the tip or something. It just means that I'm considerate. I do it whether I like the guy or not. Agreed, I always offer.
musemaj11 Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 (edited) In America, if a woman offers to pay on the early dates, 99% chance she is just testing you. And if she insists on paying, 99% chance she is not interested in a second date. There is only 1% chance that a woman who is offering to pay on the early dates actually does genuinely wanna pay. Most of the times its just a sh*t-test or a pretension just so she could seem considerate . Edited August 16, 2011 by musemaj11
Els Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 Oh, it definitely depends on the woman, I wouldn't assume anything based on it. Personally, I always offer and would happily do it if allowed, but I only push the matter and insist if I want to enforce platonic boundaries.
serial muse Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 Not enough info - as many other women here have noted, lots of women offer to pay, for a variety of reasons. I wouldn't place too much stock in it without other information. And, OP - although it's very popular on LS for men to tell other men not to listen to women for advice on dating women - this situation in particular is one where you should definitely listen to the women. Guys like musemaj11 have their own agenda.
Author Casablanca Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 And, OP - although it's very popular on LS for men to tell other men not to listen to women for advice on dating women - this situation in particular is one where you should definitely listen to the women. Guys like musemaj11 have their own agenda. I pretty much never listen to men when trying to figure out what is going on in a woman's head....it is just too complex for us men to understand I secured another date with the girl from the first date...well a day and the idea, will iron out details like time and place later this week...I'm just very cautious when it comes to early on dating because I've been burned a lot by women who show interest, but then never return calls or texts. I've only told two friends about the first date and only have told one of them about the second one and really wont tell any of my other friends until I secure a 3rd date...
alphamale Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 I know that some people are embarrassed to to have someone else pay the bill. So what I do is: Before the check arrives I pretend I am going to the bathroom and on my way I find the waiter and pay the check. mcdonalds doesn't have waiters
CatNtheHat Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 ...does this actually mean anything? I've never had that happen until last Saturday; I've had women (before exclusively dating if it got there) offer before on dates, but never on a first date with a woman. Does it mean... A) she isn't interested and doesnt want me to "waste" my money B) she is interested and wants to pay her share C) she is interested and wants to "test" my dating ways or D) does it mean really absolutely nothing or E) something I didnt think of I know I'm looking way too much into this, but I'm just curious for a female's perspective I know you can't generalize dating...as I've had fabulous first dates where conversation and laughter flowed for hours and never get a response from her afterwards... And I've had a first date where I didn't feel like there was much chemistry and I ask if she wants to go for walk and talk more after dinner, she responds she has to go grocery shopping, and then she contacts me a few days later wanting to go out again.... On past dates I usually offered to pay half. Most of the time I got turned down, and some even took it as an insult. I thought it was very gentleman like to not to accept my money. But if I knew it wasn't going to go further than the first date, I would insist to pay my way.
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