Getting sick of the FZ - 2 part post

[irc333]

Okay, I must've asked about 3 or 4 women out lately, and I'm always getting the, "I am not looking for anything but friendship and I hope I didn't give you any wrong ideas."

 

That was the latest that I heard to day, after I was making plans with a woman on asking her out, I think she finally caved and decided to tell me what for.

 

Past couple of months, with me trying to ask women out, I've always gotten some kind of variant response of the above. Usually, their response is involving how they aren't dating right now, busy with work, school, etc.

 

Typically, they do agree to some kind of get together, but when it comes to that point, that's where they drop the bomb.

 

 

Funny the above is 30, and is taking her sweet time finishing classes, and she's a part-time worker cleaning a couple of homes here and there. There's nothing possibly keeping her busy actually.

 

But like I was saying, I've been getting these generic responses, they make it SOUND like they're not dating ANY men in existence at the moment, when it's really ME they aren't interested in.

 

Gentlemen, what do you do when you finally reached the last straw of being constantly being thrown into the friend zone?

 

I thought I was okay with it, but I think I have some kind of limitation where I have a threshold where I get tired of it.

 

Here's the 2nd part of this post:

 

I've even had women I made plans with, call back a few hours later and ask me, "Hey, when you asked me out, you didn't mean it it to be a date, right??"

 

Talk about making for an awkward response.

 

 

When I ask women out, they actually seem to be caught off guard or they didn't expect it...like they didn't see it coming. As if it was actually unusual for ME to personally have any business asking them out.

 

Any guys run into that, too?

 

Any idea?

[Eddie Edirol]

When all the women are turning you down, you have to question your approach. You might have to start researching dating dynamics to understand what youre doing to turn these women off before you even get to asking them out.

[irc333]

When all the women are turning you down, you have to question your approach. You might have to start researching dating dynamics to understand what youre doing to turn these women off before you even get to asking them out.

 

 

I've done it all, read a considerable amount of publications, listen to advice, even read crap that David DeAngelo wrote. There is no solution.

 

Asking me to find a way to make a better approach, will not accomplish anything.

[Casablanca]

When all the women are turning you down, you have to question your approach. You might have to start researching dating dynamics to understand what youre doing to turn these women off before you even get to asking them out.

I'm wondering this too...the last couple lines of the post made me wonder what the situation was...

 

Also the friendzone is total BS...it is a nice way of women to say they aren't attracted to you in some shape or form (physically or mentally/personality) and this could easily happen if you catch them off guard.

[irc333]

I'm wondering this too...the last couple lines of the post made me wonder what the situation was...

 

Also the friendzone is total BS...it is a nice way of women to say they aren't attracted to you in some shape or form (physically or mentally/personality) and this could easily happen if you catch them off guard.

 

I would like to note then. Of the 3 or 4 past women who "FZ'ed" me, how do you account for the women that HAD been attracted to me?

 

For the record, for those women that WERE attracted to me, my behavior with THEM had been no different than the women that FZ'ed me.

[somedude81]

Gentlemen, what do you do when you finally reached the last straw of being constantly being thrown into the friend zone?

Start planning on how I want to go out...

[Eddie Edirol]

I would like to note then. Of the 3 or 4 past women who "FZ'ed" me, how do you account for the women that HAD been attracted to me?

 

For the record, for those women that WERE attracted to me, my behavior with THEM had been no different than the women that FZ'ed me.

 

So then you just have to play the numbers. If you approached women that were attracted to you the same way, you just have to approach more women, whats the problem?

[AlexDP]

An important thing to note is that you usually friendzone yourself. Either you ask them out too late, when they already see you as a nonsexual being, because you have not expressed desire before or it's not obvious to them what your intentions are. Without being pushy and with giving her lots and lots of space, you should make it very clear to her from the very beginning that you are interested in having sex with her.

 

And pick up on little things. If a woman starts discussing sex and relationships with you a lot, there's a very good chance she wants to have sex with you.

 

With these things in mind you have to realise that in order for you to gain a sexual relationship with a woman it's usually an all or nothing approach. It should be clear to the both of you that a platonic friendship is never going to happen. Of course there are no absolute rules and personally I've been in friendships that evolved into sexual relationships, but if you consistenly friendzone yourself, you have to change your approach.

[Nexus One]

Be clear and direct: "I don't want to be friends, I want to be lovers. I'm not going to hang around you as a friend only to see you get involved with other men. This is my position. You know how to reach me if you change your mind."

 

What a woman feels for you is something you have little to no control over. That lack of control over what happens in life is what destiny is. Not that I necessarily believe in destiny, but explaining it like that has a ring to it.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Nexus One

[ThsAmericanLife]

'friendzoning' a guy is my way of finding out if he has legitimate interest in me and is willing to wait to get to know me. I'm not interested in men who are trying to get me in the sack on the first few dates to 'prove' my interest in them. I've got better things to do with my time.

 

If all you care about is sex, and don't really care about getting to know women, then go ahead and listen to what some of the guys here tell you.

 

I also wouldn't respond to what most of the posters here suggested...

 

Women know when a guy is interested in more. Quality women expect you to want to get to know them. If they start dating someone else, or if there isn't really anything building in terms of intimacy, then you aren't a match. If you are worried about spending $$ on them, find women who believe in going dutch. I always have with anyone I 'date' or ultimately become friends with.

[AlexDP]

'friendzoning' a guy is my way of finding out if he has legitimate interest in me and is willing to wait to get to know me. I'm not interested in men who are trying to get me in the sack on the first few dates to 'prove' my interest in them. I've got better things to do with my time.

 

If all you care about is sex, and don't really care about getting to know women, then go ahead and listen to what some of the guys here tell you.

 

I also wouldn't respond to what most of the posters here suggested...

 

Women know when a guy is interested in more. Quality women expect you to want to get to know them. If they start dating someone else, or if there isn't really anything building in terms of intimacy, then you aren't a match. If you are worried about spending $$ on them, find women who believe in going dutch. I always have with anyone I 'date' or ultimately become friends with.

 

Yeah. You say that, but that's not what you do. You don't friendzone a guy you want to sleep with, because you'd fear missing out on him.

 

OP, the LAST thing you should do is take dating advice from women. They do not do it intentionally, but somehow they're the least qualified to give sound advice when it comes to dating women. It's as if they don't even understand their own little games.

 

Also, this stuff about "quality" women is highly annoying. You say it like that, because you want to define yourself as a quality woman. There are also quality women who really enjoy sex and will go there very fast. The girls I date usually enjoy sex a lot, but we will take our time in the beginning. That does not mean however that women who move faster than that are necessarily low quality.

[irc333]

Women know when a guy is interested in more. Quality women expect you to want to get to know them.

 

Oh I definately know what you mean...and I understand it puts men at bay by making sure their intentions are true.

 

But, I get tired of hearing stories from women who had to actually had to tell a guy to stop trying to ACT like their boyfriend in social situations.

 

There's this one woman I know, apparently she told this guy she just wanted to be friends when they hung out...went to movies or other places.

 

But it came to an end when he they were at a house party and he was hanging aorund her a little too much kind of "acting" like they're a couple by throwing pet names in her direction.

 

She took him aside and said, 'LIsten, why don't you go mingle with other people around here, and quit calling me 'sweetie", people are starting to think we're a couple"

 

This was rather heartbreaking to him, but I guess that finalized the fact she had NO romantic interest in him whatsoever.

 

So you have to consider THAT as well.

 

Though I nkow what you mean about your goal not to get sex from someone right away, but there are women who say they want to be friends.....and they actually mean it.

 

Some say that, when they really mean they don't even want you in their lives.....even as a friend (sometimes it's an actual lie)

[Nexus One]

'friendzoning' a guy is my way of finding out if he has legitimate interest in me and is willing to wait to get to know me. I'm not interested in men who are trying to get me in the sack on the first few dates to 'prove' my interest in them. I've got better things to do with my time.

 

If all you care about is sex, and don't really care about getting to know women, then go ahead and listen to what some of the guys here tell you.

 

I also wouldn't respond to what most of the posters here suggested...

 

Women know when a guy is interested in more. Quality women expect you to want to get to know them. If they start dating someone else, or if there isn't really anything building in terms of intimacy, then you aren't a match. If you are worried about spending $$ on them, find women who believe in going dutch. I always have with anyone I 'date' or ultimately become friends with.

 

Except men don't go on dates to become your friend. So if your strategy is to become friends first, then you should explain that to men, otherwise they'll think you have no interest in them as a lover and will hence give them the wrong idea. While I can see the rationale behind your approach/strategy, it is confusing to guys. Hence you need to explain it to guys.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Nexus One

[ThsAmericanLife]

Yeah. You say that, but that's not what you do. You don't friendzone a guy you want to sleep with, because you'd fear missing out on him.

 

OP, the LAST thing you should do is take dating advice from women. They do not do it intentionally, but somehow they're the least qualified to give sound advice when it comes to dating women. It's as if they don't even understand their own little games.

 

Also, this stuff about "quality" women is highly annoying. You say it like that, because you want to define yourself as a quality woman. There are also quality women who really enjoy sex and will go there very fast. The girls I date usually enjoy sex a lot, but we will take our time in the beginning. That does not mean however that women who move faster than that are necessarily low quality.

 

As for the first statement... I have and will. Every man I ever end up 'dating' always has to establish a friendship with me first. And if he loses interest before getting to know me, then I've saved myself a few bucks in condoms or a trip to the doctor for STD tests, and drama.

 

Yes, the women you talk about ARE lower quality or you don't know what quality is... Secure women don't give out sex because of fear. Quality women like sex as much or more than any man... and will not date a 'low quality' man who presses for sex before building intimacy.

 

As for your dating record... I suspect you just haven't lived long enough to suffer the consequences of establishing a relationship with the women you hook up with quickly. Condoms don't cover 'crazy'.

[rafallus]

If all you care about is sex, and don't really care about getting to know women, then go ahead and listen to what some of the guys here tell you.

You can do both at the same time...

 

Hell, why do I even bother?

 

If someone thinks that having sex in short timeframe automatically means that you don't care to get to know a person, and all you care about is sex, then they are truly narrow-minded ones.

Edited August 16, 2011 by rafallus

[ThsAmericanLife]

Except men don't go on dates to become your friend. So if your strategy is to become friends first, then you should explain that to men, otherwise they'll think you have no interest in them as a lover and will hence give them the wrong idea. While I can see the rationale behind your approach/strategy, it is confusing to guys. Hence you need to explain it to guys.

 

Thank you for bringing that up. Yes, I do explain that I need some time to decide whether there is romantic potential... and since I don't tend to have a string of 'dates', but have a pretty full life in general, it becomes obvious pretty quick that I actually am sizing them up for something more if outings are going well.

 

Most of the time, they self-select if they aren't getting sex by the third date or within a couple of weeks of seeing them. Which is fine with me.

 

I'm finding that the 'pace' of so called relationships these days leaves little to the imagination or building anything of substance. So, we have resorted to the 'friendzone'.

 

Kind of reminds me of burlesque vs strip clubs.

 

I always thought burlesque was TONS sexier and more clever/creative. Strip clubs seem boring in comparison.

[phineas]

Yeah. You say that, but that's not what you do. You don't friendzone a guy you want to sleep with, because you'd fear missing out on him.

 

OP, the LAST thing you should do is take dating advice from women. They do not do it intentionally, but somehow they're the least qualified to give sound advice when it comes to dating women. It's as if they don't even understand their own little games.

 

Also, this stuff about "quality" women is highly annoying. You say it like that, because you want to define yourself as a quality woman. There are also quality women who really enjoy sex and will go there very fast. The girls I date usually enjoy sex a lot, but we will take our time in the beginning. That does not mean however that women who move faster than that are necessarily low quality.

 

Yeah, this!

Not looking to start a flame war, but the women I meet out that preach about "i'm not a slut & don't sleep with guys early" are the ones that drop their panties on the 1st or 2nd date or follow me home that night.

 

Since I got into shape for the first time in a VERY long time the friendzone has not reared it's ugly head once.

I either get a date or rejected.

I do not get any BS in between.

 

Could be because when I meet these women out they see me talking to other women & know I won't waste my time feeding an attention whore because I got options.

 

I've never had so many options. Even back in my early 20's when I was in shape in college. I had women attracted to me, but I was so inept I usually screwed it up. LOL!

 

Op, how about a body shot. Either your too fat or too skinny because with the number of women you seem to be approaching at least one of them wouldn't care how socially awkward you are & just want to jump your bones.

 

I was just too fat & I lived in the friendzone.

[irc333]

Well, these ladies I'm approaching are just as average looking as I am.

 

Plain Jane with an Average Joe, but STILL...the FZ can rear itself up there.

 

I don't pursue perfect 10s, just women equal to me in looks

 

I am 5'8", 165lbs, so an average build....but wouldn't consider myself a David Beckham look-alike either. I stay active.

 

Like I said, an average Joe seeking an Average Jane.

 

 

Yeah, this!

Not looking to start a flame war, but the women I meet out that preach about "i'm not a slut & don't sleep with guys early" are the ones that drop their panties on the 1st or 2nd date or follow me home that night.

 

Since I got into shape for the first time in a VERY long time the friendzone has not reared it's ugly head once.

I either get a date or rejected.

I do not get any BS in between.

 

Could be because when I meet these women out they see me talking to other women & know I won't waste my time feeding an attention whore because I got options.

 

I've never had so many options. Even back in my early 20's when I was in shape in college. I had women attracted to me, but I was so inept I usually screwed it up. LOL!

 

Op, how about a body shot. Either your too fat or too skinny because with the number of women you seem to be approaching at least one of them wouldn't care how socially awkward you are & just want to jump your bones.

 

I was just too fat & I lived in the friendzone.

[Casablanca]

'friendzoning' a guy is my way of finding out if he has legitimate interest in me and is willing to wait to get to know me. I'm not interested in men who are trying to get me in the sack on the first few dates to 'prove' my interest in them. I've got better things to do with my time.

 

If all you care about is sex, and don't really care about getting to know women, then go ahead and listen to what some of the guys here tell you.

You can get to know someone, be romantic and date someone without sleeping with them

 

I wouldnt "put up" with your type...I dont have to have sex with someone quickly, but I want to have a more personal connection than just friends if I'm interested....if the other person isnt willing to put in the time and effort into a more than friendship relationship, then it is not worth my time...it all seems like some bull crap game you are playing (at least that is how it sounds)

 

And if you only find guys whose deal breakers include not having sex after a couple dates, you need to find a new pool of guys

[AlexDP]

As for the first statement... I have and will. Every man I ever end up 'dating' always has to establish a friendship with me first. And if he loses interest before getting to know me, then I've saved myself a few bucks in condoms or a trip to the doctor for STD tests, and drama.

 

Yes, the women you talk about ARE lower quality or you don't know what quality is... Secure women don't give out sex because of fear. Quality women like sex as much or more than any man... and will not date a 'low quality' man who presses for sex before building intimacy.

 

As for your dating record... I suspect you just haven't lived long enough to suffer the consequences of establishing a relationship with the women you hook up with quickly. Condoms don't cover 'crazy'.

 

I don't press for sex. It just happens. Because she wants to. Because she's attracted to me. As for your last paragraph.. I dated a BPD girl. You can't do any crazier than that . But I've also dated women who were all over me after the 2nd or 3d date and they ended up being completely normal. Don't be so quick to judge.

[ThsAmericanLife]

You can get to know someone, be romantic and date someone without sleeping with them

 

I wouldnt "put up" with your type...I dont have to have sex with someone quickly, but I want to have a more personal connection than just friends if I'm interested....if the other person isnt willing to put in the time and effort into a more than friendship relationship, then it is not worth my time...it all seems like some bull crap game you are playing (at least that is how it sounds)

 

And if you only find guys whose deal breakers include not having sex after a couple dates, you need to find a new pool of guys

 

I agree. But define 'romantic'.... If that means fending off sexual advances on every date to see how far you can get... no, I don't find that 'romantic'. I find that obnoxious.

 

So, yes, I manage expectations by telling them we need to be friends first. Most mature men know when a woman is romantically interested in them too.

 

For the 'youngsters' posting here... not having sex with them on their schedule is the same as 'friendzoning' someone.

 

No, I don't 'only' find guys who have third date sex as deal-breakers. I'm saying that has become some kind of cultural norm, especially among lower class, less educated people. Look at all the posts here... Maybe we need to do a poll.

 

... and yes, I am moving out of the area I currently live. I came here to work for a large multi-national company. It is an oasis of brains and talent in a desert of, well, not so smart, low-class people. Since I don't date men I work with, I'm looking for some place to live that has more diversity... both in work opportunities and dating potential.

[grkBoy]

"I am not looking for anything but friendship and I hope I didn't give you any wrong ideas."

 

Translation: "I don't find you attractive. Here's hoping you more or less slither away and never bother me again."

 

Past couple of months, with me trying to ask women out, I've always gotten some kind of variant response of the above. Usually, their response is involving how they aren't dating right now, busy with work, school, etc.

 

That was pretty most of my love life. I've gone into rants before on how I can't even get a straight rejection and instead get these excuses.

 

Gentlemen, what do you do when you finally reached the last straw of being constantly being thrown into the friend zone?

 

I've spoken about this before. That's when I backed out of dating 100% and focused my life on me. I've suggested this to you and others, but you all are so obsessive on "finding someone" that you never take the advice.

 

Any guys run into that, too?

 

Any idea?

 

I never ran into that as a "later", but more right when I ask them out. I simply come clean and tell them I am asking them on a date. When I get the FZ, I simply and POLITELY call it all off and tell her I'm not interested in "just friends".

 

'friendzoning' a guy is my way of finding out if he has legitimate interest in me and is willing to wait to get to know me. I'm not interested in men who are trying to get me in the sack on the first few dates to 'prove' my interest in them. I've got better things to do with my time.

 

No offense to you personally, but you're doing the "friends first" song and dance that I tell guys never to fall into. Maybe you are more level-headed to actually consider male friends as potential lovers, but 99% of the women out there don't.

 

Friendzone is just that...she's simply saying she's not into the guy and he should give up on her and move on. ONLY time I see guys come out of the friendzone is when the girl is down in her life and vulnerable...and thus is looking for a backup plan or last resort. Had several women who FZed me suddenly want to try a RL...after some douchebag knocked them up.

 

Well, these ladies I'm approaching are just as average looking as I am.

 

Plain Jane with an Average Joe, but STILL...the FZ can rear itself up there.

 

I don't pursue perfect 10s, just women equal to me in looks

 

I am 5'8", 165lbs, so an average build....but wouldn't consider myself a David Beckham look-alike either. I stay active.

 

Like I said, an average Joe seeking an Average Jane.

 

That means nothing. Look yesterday at that reply I wrote on how much third-wave feminism and lipstick feminism built up women to feel more entitled. Even Plain Janes think they can land alpha males and thus keep hoping on them. This is why you see so many single women lamenting on how there's no "decent guys".

 

Look how many Plain Janes get into bed for a fling with an upper-echelon male, and then instantly believe they can land one as a BF, when all those guys only see them as "just sex".

 

Face the hard truth (because I had to face the same hard truth), women in general don't find you attractive. They keep clinging on to the idea that they can do better than you and thus stay single (even til they die) in the hopes they can land such a guy.

 

NOW...I didn't say this to insult you, but to hold up a mirror and show you the picture women see. I had to do the same thing for myself because I was being rejected and FZed left and right. You can keep trying and lamenting on here how women keep rejecting you, or take bigger steps I've spoken of to get you out of the rut you seem to be constantly in.

 

Back off it all and change your life?

 

Move to a more populated area?

 

Hire a dating coach?

 

What you've been doing isn't working...so it's time you seriously try other things rather than hope women will "come down to Earth".

[rafallus]

I agree. But define 'romantic'.... If that means fending off sexual advances on every date to see how far you can get... no, I don't find that 'romantic'. I find that obnoxious.

Your idea of dates, frankly, is pretty scary. What's the point of going out with someone, who can't enjoy your company, because all he/she cares about is worrying how to fend off sexual advances?

 

not having sex with them on their schedule is the same as 'friendzoning' someone.

And you counter this by creating your own schedule to have sex. You sound pretty controlling.

 

For the record, I don't believe in any schedules - if emotions are strong, and logistics are OK, so be it.

 

No, I don't 'only' find guys who have third date sex as deal-breakers. I'm saying that has become some kind of cultural norm, especially among lower class, less educated people.

You think you're some kind of superior being, because of that? Edited August 16, 2011 by rafallus

[Casablanca]

I agree. But define 'romantic'.... If that means fending off sexual advances on every date to see how far you can get... no, I don't find that 'romantic'. I find that obnoxious.

It is hard to put into words, which may be why I could be misinterpreting how you actually interact in these situations.

 

When you "date" is it obvious that it is a date to you and the guy, or do you treat these "dates" as if you were just hanging out with friends? Does the guy ever pay, get your car door, pick you up, rub your arm once in a while? Do you guys talk on a more deeper level than with normal guy friends? While I can be more open with female friends, I definitely am more personal and willing to talk about who I am and how I tick with someone who I am interested in. Do dates every become implied or does the exclusivity talk ever happen before you feel they know you enough to have sex? Do these "dates" give you butterflies, etc?

 

Are you two doing things that friends dont do..holding hands, holding each other,kissing, etc; intimate physical gestures that friends dont share, but that isnt sex

 

The way I picture these encounters from your description is you two just decide to hang out, totally dutch, you guys meet up, other friends could easily be there, you sit and talk and act as if there is no physical attraction, as if they were a sibling, etc.

[zengirl]

Okay, I must've asked about 3 or 4 women out lately, and I'm always getting the, "I am not looking for anything but friendship and I hope I didn't give you any wrong ideas."

 

That was the latest that I heard to day, after I was making plans with a woman on asking her out, I think she finally caved and decided to tell me what for.

 

Past couple of months, with me trying to ask women out, I've always gotten some kind of variant response of the above. Usually, their response is involving how they aren't dating right now, busy with work, school, etc.

 

Typically, they do agree to some kind of get together, but when it comes to that point, that's where they drop the bomb.

 

 

Funny the above is 30, and is taking her sweet time finishing classes, and she's a part-time worker cleaning a couple of homes here and there. There's nothing possibly keeping her busy actually.

 

But like I was saying, I've been getting these generic responses, they make it SOUND like they're not dating ANY men in existence at the moment, when it's really ME they aren't interested in.

 

Gentlemen, what do you do when you finally reached the last straw of being constantly being thrown into the friend zone?

 

I thought I was okay with it, but I think I have some kind of limitation where I have a threshold where I get tired of it.

 

Here's the 2nd part of this post:

 

I've even had women I made plans with, call back a few hours later and ask me, "Hey, when you asked me out, you didn't mean it it to be a date, right??"

 

Talk about making for an awkward response.

 

 

When I ask women out, they actually seem to be caught off guard or they didn't expect it...like they didn't see it coming. As if it was actually unusual for ME to personally have any business asking them out.

 

Any guys run into that, too?

 

Any idea?

 

I think they likely seem caught off guard because they're uncomfortable and they don't want to go out with you. That doesn't mean they don't want to be friends with you, but if you don't want that, say so. Nobody friendzones you; you friendzone yourself. The friendzone is just a name for someone who stupidly hangs around pretending to be a friend when really he/she wants more than that. Don't do that.

 

If the girl is telling you before the meet up that she's not interested in dating, take her at her word, and if you aren't into friendship, move along.

 

If there are other women that ARE interested in you when you approach, and you have no reason to believe it's something you can change to improve your odds, then it's likely either an attraction issue or just "not everyone is going to think you're their cuppa." That's life.

 

There's nothing wrong with a woman talking to you and telling you she's only interested in friendship. She has then been perfectly honest with you and let you know the score. She's just not into you.

 

'friendzoning' a guy is my way of finding out if he has legitimate interest in me and is willing to wait to get to know me. I'm not interested in men who are trying to get me in the sack on the first few dates to 'prove' my interest in them. I've got better things to do with my time.

 

If all you care about is sex, and don't really care about getting to know women, then go ahead and listen to what some of the guys here tell you.

 

I also wouldn't respond to what most of the posters here suggested...

 

Women know when a guy is interested in more. Quality women expect you to want to get to know them. If they start dating someone else, or if there isn't really anything building in terms of intimacy, then you aren't a match. If you are worried about spending $$ on them, find women who believe in going dutch. I always have with anyone I 'date' or ultimately become friends with.

 

I would never tell a guy I wanted to date that I was only interested in friendship, and that sounds an odd "test" indeed. Dating does not = early or immediate sex. All it means is that you are getting to know someone with some romantic preconditions. I have been on several dates before I even kissed a guy, but he knew I was interested in him in a potentially romantic way and I was not telling him, "I'm not into dating right now." If you want to delay physicality. . . all you have to do is delay physicality. And you're right that guys who are truly interested in you will be relatively okay with that, as long as you don't go to crazy extremes or expect the relationship to progress immediately in other ways (i.e. I want you to call me every morning and every night and be 100% committed to you, but I'm not even making out with you for 3 months or something weird). Guys can and will take it slowly. But they want to know that you're on the same page.

 

Why would you want a guy who would "date" you and do date-like things when you were saying, "I'm not into you that way." That's not showing interest. . . it's showing a lack of ability to follow your set boundaries.