Lucky555 Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 My bf of 10 months who I spoke about not introducing me to his family... He isn't embarrassed of his family I still don't see how or if he is considering a future! This weekend I thought to ask him some questions to get emotions out and to see how he actually feels about me. I asked him why he likes me...he said because I like him...what? He could give me no other reason why :/ he just acted silent and held me close... I tried to ask his family and he never volunteered information but answered questions I asked. He did take me to where I wanted us to go for a walk which was nice but Im so puzzled. He proceeded to tell me during our drive that I need to make more money so I could invest in his and his families investments..I flat out said no! First of all why is he telling me to make more money?! I do my best to accomplish my goals and work! He should make more money...he didn't look too happy I said no. If I had money I would pay more bills and live my dream not become in more debt! I didn't like this especially when he has not even introduced me to his family :/ I didn't make any profess in getting anything out of My guy. Also I felt like our weekend was nice but I want more..like I said I just see him once a week and it's getting to be concerning that he isn't including me in his life. I still am also concerned about the emails I saw him sending to other girls. During the week he barely initiates contact. This past weekend I went tongue place just to be sent home the next morning because he had a family event which would have been perfect to invite Me..instead he sends me home. Lastly I told him he was a sweet guy and he says " no I'm not"...? So this is alarming because it seems he knows that he is keeping me around?? This is why he doesnt include me In his life..like family events or work events!!! I have included him in my family events and work doesn't have events. I get a feeling he isn't acrid serious about me...I feel like I have to initiate time together and when we do spend time it's one night! He makes a lot of excuses why he can't get together....long day of work or family.. Ugh!! Do I have a bf? He just isn't including me in his life! What do I need to ask to see if there is a future here? I feel sometimes he acts like we have one by saying things but his actions don't match up!
mortensorchid Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 No, his actions do not match up. Unfortunately this is pointing towards something horrible that may happen in the future - in that he might dump you when he is boxed into a corner. Who knows what his reasons are? He might be acting strange to get you to think he is being strange, and make YOU dump him because he doesn't want to look like the bad guy. Reconsider this whole situation, because it's just strange.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I get a feeling he isn't acrid serious about me...I feel like I have to initiate time together and when we do spend time it's one night! He makes a lot of excuses why he can't get together....long day of work or family.. Ugh!! Do I have a bf? He just isn't including me in his life! What do I need to ask to see if there is a future here? I feel sometimes he acts like we have one by saying things but his actions don't match up! You get a feeling? I would hope so when everyone told you this same thing the last time you made a thread complaining about the same thing. Glad it finally sunk in. Of course hes not serious about you, or you would have met his family by now. Ask him again why you havent met his family.
FitChick Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 You know what you need to do. Why prolong the agony?
Eddie Edirol Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 (edited) You get a feeling? I would hope so when everyone told you this same thing the last time you made a thread complaining about the same thing. Glad it finally sunk in. Of course hes not serious about you, or you would have met his family by now. Ask him again why you havent met his family. Oops, correction: Everyone told you he wasnt serious in the last 10 threads you made about this guy. When are you gonna pull the trigger and confront him or bail out??? You cant ask him vague questions like "why do you like me", theres no way he can give you an answer thatyou want to hear, thats a chickenshyt question. Give him a specific question he can answer. "WHy wont you introduce me to your family?" Hes not going to volunteer anything to you, so if theres something specific you want to know, you have to face the rejection and ask him EXACTLY what you want to know, AND STOP PLAYING GAMES!!!!!!!!!!! Edited August 15, 2011 by Eddie Edirol
Pierre Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 OP I can't believe you are still with the guy that does not care about you one bit. IF he is not a loser then he has a mental illness. Either way you lose. Get rid of him!
Author Lucky555 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Yes I'm not asking him directly and it seems as u all say he "doesn't know way to say" basically if he says something wrong then he will be dumped..I know he doesn't want that. He asks caring around me and it's hard to just dump him when he has not done anything wrong. He just isn't moving forward! I thought something would come out about his feelings for me but nothing..my indirect approach did not work. I feel like I am protecting myself a lot now. He's not showing his vulnerability. Also those messages to "casually" talk to other girls is odd when he doesn't initiate messages to me :/. I am glad to have feed back because I'm awful at seeingy own relationship! I am very perceptive when helping others though! I find myself asking myself after I leave his place "why am I letting myself be in an unfulfilled situation?" I am very unfullfilled. He acts like my friend but not like a bf. He is kinda poor but manages to support himself and buy tickets to sports games. He doesn't "invest" in me at all. Like I said before I don't see why he and I can't have the whole weekend together even if he has to work..I would wait for him. You all are right I need to be direct. I need to be confrontational which I dont like to be...so it's hard but it's something I need to do. Should I be direct in person or message? I feel like he could say what he really thinks....best approach? In a message he would get to the point... I also agree huge red flag about no family introduction. He told me in the beginning I would meet them it's been 10 months! Ya I need to trust my insticts even if it means moving on. I have no problem with this because want someone who wants to love me for me :/
zengirl Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 First of all, never ask anyone why they like you. If you have to ask. . . . I think you know the score with this one. He's not interested in investing anything and possibly even wishes you'd break up with him. He's dead weight at this point, I'm sad to say. Unfortunately, I think you know what to do. You just don't want to.
Author Lucky555 Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 I am very anti confrontational. But u all are right something needs to change. Its been 10 months and he still doesn't devote an entire weekend to me. He is having the time of his life by not having to commit himself. I feel like its time for him to step it up since I have. Its not fair to drag me along for his convience. When I am with him he is physically affectionate but then the next day he cues me to leave by asking me what I am doing that day. I feel in some ways it is a dead weight because it's going no where. I don't feel "loved". I know he does not want to break up: but the messaging other girls tells me he might be flirting with them and given an opportunity he might leave. Oh well but I don't want to waste my time.he saw that I saw them but he never showed me what they were about. He has told me he doesn't think I trust him...I guess he doesn't give me reasons to fully trust him since he doesn't include me in his life. I am going to stop trying..I already stopped cooking for him since he didn't do anything for me. I have some thinking to do and action to take before it ends up in a worse scenario! Thanks for posts! I agree I shouldn't have to ask :/ ugh
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