mike198 Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Hey, well about a month ago I met this girl and I really like her, but the other day I found out that she likes this other guy too who she's known a little longer, and can't beside us. She doesn't know that I know about the other guy or anything, and we're hanging out again this week. What should I do?
Enchanted Girl Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 How did you find out about the other guy?
Rinas Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 That is your call, however If I was in your position I would let this one go. I don't compete for the affection of others, if there's someone else in the picture I'll kick it solo. You can keep seeing her without expectations until she makes decision, or you can cut ties. You have all the information, balls in your court.
Severely Unamused Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Simple, you make the choice for her. Meaning that you either murder the other guy, use your superior manliness to woo her, or (the sanest option IMO) leave her picking game and get on with your life. My 2 cents.
Author mike198 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 I found out cause at a party the other day one of her friends whos also friends with me told me. Any suggestions for wooing her?
patagonia Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Leave her. Easy! You stay around and you will seem ridiculous and lame. She will run to him. Move on.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 She wants the other guy, she just doesnt know if he likes her like she wants yet, thats why she is still seeing you. Basically youre the plan b. You will be the plan b again when she meets someone else that she likes more than you. Make the decision for her and cut ties with her.
Pierre Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Hey, well about a month ago I met this girl and I really like her, but the other day I found out that she likes this other guy too who she's known a little longer, and can't beside us. She doesn't know that I know about the other guy or anything, and we're hanging out again this week. What should I do? Never compete for a woman's affection. If she wants someone else gracefully walk away.
Author mike198 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 the thing is we were at a party the other night and the other guy was there too but she was with me the whole night and not the other guy? + I'm a lot better looking than the other guy
Pierre Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 the thing is we were at a party the other night and the other guy was there too but she was with me the whole night and not the other guy? + I'm a lot better looking than the other guy If you want to be one of her men be my guest. I believe it is called polyamory. Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Author mike198 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 obviously she's not going to be with both of us.
Author mike198 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 she's also mentioned the other guy a couple times when we where hanging out but at the time I didn't think anything of it I just assumed he was a friend.
patagonia Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 leave her alone! If you are better looking than the other guy, who cares. Don't wait around for her! Your looks go out the window when you keep waiting around. Go get somebody else. She is giving you signs to leave.
Author mike198 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 what signs did she give me to leave? She knew the other guy before we met and she's the one who initiated the whole thing between us.
Cracker Jack Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Start ignoring her. Either way, she's likely going to pick the other guy, since she seems to be pretty indecisive.
Pierre Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 what signs did she give me to leave? She knew the other guy before we met and she's the one who initiated the whole thing between us. Dude She wants attention. The more men, the better. Walk away now before you lose your dignity.
Desensitized Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Dude She wants attention. The more men, the better. Walk away now before you lose your dignity. ^This. It's not difficult for a decently attractive woman to get the attention of many guys - especially if she dresses provocatively and is flirtatious. Before I got with my ex, there were 3 other guys she was interested in and these guys were interested in her. I was the "winner" I guess you could say in this whole love circle thing because in the end, she ended up picking me. However, fast forward 6 months into us dating and it turns out she's completely crazy! - from being suicidal to subtly cheating on me, you could tell she had daddy issues. Most likely, this girl has daddy issues too.
Pierre Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 ^This. It's not difficult for a decently attractive woman to get the attention of many guys - especially if she dresses provocatively and is flirtatious. Before I got with my ex, there were 3 other guys she was interested in and these guys were interested in her. I was the "winner" I guess you could say in this whole love circle thing because in the end, she ended up picking me. However, fast forward 6 months into us dating and it turns out she's completely crazy! - from being suicidal to subtly cheating on me, you could tell she had daddy issues. Most likely, this girl has daddy issues too. Most of the women like that tend to be cheaters. They need too much attention. One man is not enough.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 the thing is we were at a party the other night and the other guy was there too but she was with me the whole night and not the other guy? + I'm a lot better looking than the other guy Already told you. The other guy doesnt want her, but she wants him. She used you at the party to make him jealous, or make him want her, but it doesnt work like that with men. She talks about him because she wants him, but she cant have him, so you were plan B.
Author mike198 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 He didn't know she was with me at the party
Desensitized Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Most of the women like that tend to be cheaters. They need too much attention. One man is not enough. Very true. I remember there was a guy that came into her life about one month into us dating. This guy was like head over heels for my ex-gf. He was over when I was over one day and I guess he didn't know that we were together (funny how she never mentioned that we were together, eh?) So my ex-gf at the time wanted me to tell him (shouldce seen that red flag from the vwry beginning). Anyways, we're not together anymore and she still uses him whenever she neeeds her car fixed since hes a mechanic. poor guy, hes not een dating her and hes whipped. Anyway, I suggest getting away from this girl. Any girl that talks about another guy she's seeing (esp. considering she knows you like her is extremely disrespectful).
Author mike198 Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 She didn't know that I liked her then and she only briefly mentioned him.
Pierre Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 She didn't know that I liked her then and she only briefly mentioned him. Sounds like you are creating some sort of competition in your head. You are just a freind. The other guy is just a friend. There is no competition dude.
dizy Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 ok...I see many replies from guys who seem to have either a very bad experience with women or a huge ego. From a girl who had a huge crush on a guy but realized that several other guys were also amazing, I can tell you that it is possible to like several people at the same time. For those who suggest that if you show more interest she will snob you and run to the other guy: it all depends on the person. I personally know girls who are like that, but also those (including myself) who perceive that kind of interest and the very action of showing it as a commitment. and I can tell you most of girls think that if a guy really wants someone, he will do something about it, and reciprocally, if he doesnt do anything, then he is probably only half interested. Obviously, there are always people who need attention and cheat on their partners etc, but since the girl you are talking about is single, I don't see why can't she have a crush on someone but still leave the options open and get to know other guys. Take your time to get to know her better, if she seems to be a genuinely nice and loyal person then you should woo her =) if she is hitting on the guy or making very obvious that she is interested by the guy or has some kind of unfaithful "records" then you should move on. Just take it easy and especially, take your time * I agree that you shouldn't compete for affection, but affection and respect have to be earned, and if you never give the chance to people to get to know you, then there is no chance that they ever feel anything but physically attraction towards you.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 ok...I see many replies from guys who seem to have either a very bad experience with women or a huge ego. From a girl who had a huge crush on a guy but realized that several other guys were also amazing, I can tell you that it is possible to like several people at the same time. For those who suggest that if you show more interest she will snob you and run to the other guy: it all depends on the person. I personally know girls who are like that, but also those (including myself) who perceive that kind of interest and the very action of showing it as a commitment. and I can tell you most of girls think that if a guy really wants someone, he will do something about it, and reciprocally, if he doesnt do anything, then he is probably only half interested. Obviously, there are always people who need attention and cheat on their partners etc, but since the girl you are talking about is single, I don't see why can't she have a crush on someone but still leave the options open and get to know other guys. Take your time to get to know her better, if she seems to be a genuinely nice and loyal person then you should woo her =) if she is hitting on the guy or making very obvious that she is interested by the guy or has some kind of unfaithful "records" then you should move on. Just take it easy and especially, take your time * I agree that you shouldn't compete for affection, but affection and respect have to be earned, and if you never give the chance to people to get to know you, then there is no chance that they ever feel anything but physically attraction towards you. I agree with this post. It depends on the girl. When I'm single, I won't commit to a guy that I really, really like until he demonstrates to me that he's super dedicated to being with just me. I've been hurt in the past and I know a lot of guys will have no problems with using a girl (I've been used), so I wait to screw myself and get rid of all my other options until the guy shows that he has a genuine interest in me in return.
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