Desecration smile Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Okay, so as another hapless soul enters the domains of loveshack with another sappy break-up story filled with more resentment, depression, self-pity/loathing than you can bear, here comes another one (sorry folks!) Anyway, so long story short, boy (me) goes to college, meets a girl, likes her, (Insert long drawn out courtship process which ultimately materializes into a relationship, blah blah). Now, one fine day, girl lost in the tender moments of one another, holding boy's hand says "you'll be with me forever right?" Boy, stumped, replies the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, asks the worst-timed rheoterical question... "oh but you don't think we'll be together forever, do you?" Now, all this while, it's obvious girl is in love with boy, wants to stay serious, boy aware of his previous relationship experience is content with the present situations, serious relations always end ugly he says. But boy knows just as well, that boy loves this girl unlike any one before her. Boy is like a firecracker on the 4th of July. Or ribs, tasty ribs, either way, super delighted, and completely complete, just not too into the tedious process of contemplating the lifeline of a relationship, trying rather, to enjoy every moment with this amazing spark of life that this girl brings. But girl takes boy's answer as a little too seriously, and re-considers her stupid question, becomes hard, tries and takes things too easy. Boy realises this girl is probably the one (are you still following along? sorry, I tend to realise my life is heavily relying on rom-coms) and is hopelessly even more in love, ah blissful right? Wrong. 2 days ago, girl tells boy. "Uh, I don't love you. I like you, so much..." yada yada. Let me not bore you with the details. Basically girl adores boy, but can't believe boy is serious now. Oh my! So boy is in a sorry sappy state, can't accept that it's all happened so quickly. She could walk away so quickly. Boy is super confused, and terribly hurt. What do the wonderful people here at Loveshack have to offer? Thanking everyone for reading a stupidly teenage romance (though I wish I was a teenager again) but I wish someone would answer.
Buttercup84 Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Just call her and meet up with her . Tell her what you said here , she's the one and you never loved anyone like that before. say sorry for freaking out before . Just say anything you feel at that moment !
Rinas Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 It's a hard predicament to be in. She wanted to open up to you, put everything on the line, she was using emotions. You were being logical, and realistic. Yes, you two were happy and perhaps even in love withe each other, but you can never promise forever. In my past relationship I couldn't promise forever either, and I never wanted to. You can only guarantee so much in life. Going with the flow and enjoying things while they last is the best way to go about things. You were not wrong in thinking this way. Why put so much pressure on the future when you can enjoy the present? She is likely feeling like she shot herself in the foot, she put her emotions out there and feels like you don't feel the same. Your relationship may be salvageable. Sit her down and have a talk with her. Put your feelings on the line, open communication. If not, you tried, best you could. Then to NC.
Chi townD Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 You really need to sit down and have a serious talk with her and try not to do it in the third person.
poorguy Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I was a boy like you once. I remember hanging out carefree with one girl or another. They were beautiful. During the younger college days. Your tale brung back memories I havent thought about in ten years!! I was guilty of pulling the same thing that you have done. I remember looking at them, them looking at me and just seeing in their eyes that I was the guy they wanted to love forever. Not saying I didnt feel sort of the same way,but maybe not to the extent they did? A 22 year old girl is light years emotionally mature over a 22 year old boy. I too learned the hard way lol Look dude this wasnt some long dragged out heartbreaking relationship with a terrible ending so you have options that do not apply to most of the posters on here. Just go for her. Make a move..tell her how you feel (without being pathetic)...This could very well be a test!! (wow...chicks do that??) answer is yes they do...So if you want her go get her..Now playa listen up!!!! If you dont see that certain dreamy look in her eyes..abort the mission and move on!!
Author Desecration smile Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Firstly, thank you all for the prompt replies. Second, I believe things took a turn for the worst, when she told me very clearly, she feels as though she's "lost the spark". And though she adores me as a friend, she does not feel that way anymore, she's an awfully confused girl, who I can't stop loving, either way, and this is the crux of my problem. What do I do now? I like any hopeless heartbroken romeo, wants his Juliet back, but my ego won't let me, but more importantly, if she doesn't feel that way can I really do much? Does anyone feel there's anything I could do at this point?
Author Desecration smile Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 And it's not as if I haven't tried the 'talking it out' method, it has not resulted in much but empty looks and questionable gazes.
Rinas Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Firstly, thank you all for the prompt replies. Second, I believe things took a turn for the worst, when she told me very clearly, she feels as though she's "lost the spark". And though she adores me as a friend, she does not feel that way anymore, she's an awfully confused girl, who I can't stop loving, either way, and this is the crux of my problem. What do I do now? I like any hopeless heartbroken romeo, wants his Juliet back, but my ego won't let me, but more importantly, if she doesn't feel that way can I really do much? Does anyone feel there's anything I could do at this point? If she 'lost the spark' a day after claiming she wanted to be together forever then she's playing games. Just go into direct no contact. Let her stew with her own thoughts.
poorguy Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 (edited) Ok...I get it. She probably did loose the spark. Its really early in the game my friend. I have to tell you a story..Im not saying duplicate it because most people couldnt, but its the type flavor you have to adopt..the talking it out thing wont work at this point believe me. Ok..in college I was in a frat. We were the top of all frats. Everything was our way...(it was college and we were all immature). Anyway myself and many many of my brothers got into similar situations like yours...and I had brothers that were d-cks straight up. Well one day id say the head d-ck did this same thing with this amazing girl...just acted like he wasnt all in or whatever. She was so beautiful and amazing. Only thing was was that she wasnt shallow like a of beautiful hot young people are...She was the real deal...She dropped his ass flat out!!! Well after that we saw a new a totally different side of our boy!!! He was leveled!! Just heartbroken, instead of the arogant prick hed always been (still loved the kid though) Well boys being boys, we all busted his ass ahout who was going to he her next. We werent really being serious just lightening things up I guess One night not too long after the split our brother who had stopped talking about her was planning something (we could all tell) Between the parties and bars someone was tailing just to keep an eye on him. Later that night we got 911 pages from one of our brothers who was asigned to follow him. Needless to say we all went running to her apartment building. Most of us showed up at the very end of what he did. It was 2 am....This big arogant jock prick (who I love) was dead center in the middle of the courtyard lipsynking....Give just a little more time...that song with the radio cranked!! It woke up the entire apt.complex....he even had a whole dance he did too it...We thought he had lost his mind...and he did, he was in love and knew ito At their wedding reception 4 years later we had the dj put that song on again...His wife told him that he almost has her forever, but he needed to do a run through in front of everyone so shed could he sure....and that he did..in front of 250 people Long story, but point is go for it...in your own way. She could of said NO, but she didnt...and I may add that hes the nicest guy youll ever meet...he grew up lol Edited August 15, 2011 by poorguy
poorguy Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Sorry about the grammar on that one..I was using my phone
NursingGirl Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 Sorry about the grammar on that one..I was using my phone Cool story. OP, drop the ego and go for it. If you just copy your post and tell her that this is what you REALLY wanted to say when she asked that, so what if your ego ends up hurting afterwards? You will heal and at least you will know you did all you could do.
D-Lish Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 What is the time line between when she asked you about being together forever and when she said she wasn't in love with you anymore?
Author Desecration smile Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 Um, see we've known each other for 2 years, and only recently did we start dating. She had revealed to me how she had felt about me, nearly 2-3 months back, and approximately 3 weeks back, she told me how she didn't feel the same way about me. I've tried explaining it to her that I still love her and would go back on anything I said, as I did not mean it, but she's obstinate about her feelings now. Maybe like one post here said, she doesn't want to open her self again, in the risk of getting hurt. @Poorguy; sweet story, almost reminiscent of a certain John Cusack. Hmm, I'll keep it in mind, thank you
Author Desecration smile Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 So, when she says "I don't love you as much as you love me" what do you do? She wants a non-serious, non-committal relationship as she said. Her issue is that the very fact that I love her beyond belief, is too much for her, since she'd be lying to herself and me, if she continued being in this relationship. But I won't give up, I just don't know where to start to do anything.
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