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newly dating, and she says she needsa break...whats this mean?

txnco06

By txnco06
in General Relationship Discussion

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txnco06 New Member

txnco06

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I recently met a wonderful woman online. We talked for a brief time. We met a couple times. and really hit it off. this past weekend, we were at her house. and she asks me if i would be upset if we ended the weekend early. her reason was so she could have "girls night out". When I told her that we had made plans for the weekend, she simply said that i had to share with her friends. Ok, I understand, that but, I felt a bit ditched after having been in the middle of our prearranged wknd.

 

Between Saturday and today..being Monday, we really havent talked, and when we do its usually me doing the TEXTING. Her response is, "relax, everything is fine. I just need space. I am a very intuitive person, ut for some reason, I cant figure out this problem. So here are my questions.... Whats the best way to deal with this.. keep in mind, I have told her that if she wants to talk, then she call me. But is there supposed to be a time frame for me to wait? Should i text her and see about making one? What does this mean, exactly...with everything I mentioned prior? Am I dead in the water?

 

I really like her alot, and thought we had something going. I realize that there are plenty of women out there, but right now im focused on her. Someone please help me with this situation...Thank you

sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

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I'm guessing the time you spent over the weekend was looking to be longer than she could stand so she did the cowardly/polite brush off and is assessing her interest level in you.

 

But it doesn't sound like this had gotten serious or anything yet. No reason to wait around for her to call - go out with your own friends and have fun.

Forever Learning Established Member

Forever Learning

Posted
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I'm guessing the time you spent over the weekend was looking to be longer than she could stand so she did the cowardly/polite brush off and is assessing her interest level in you.

 

But it doesn't sound like this had gotten serious or anything yet. No reason to wait around for her to call - go out with your own friends and have fun.

 

 

Exactly. Give her the space she asked for and wait and see. She is either dumping you or just needing time to think about things and whether or not they are moving too quickly or if you are smothering her. People have different ideas as to how much time they initially like to spend with someone new in their life, usually when it's a great connection, they want to spend all their free time together. That doesn't sound like the case here, but just wait and see, you will know more in a mere matter of weeks for sure. Don't hound her you will annoy her and seem desperate, a guaranteed turn off. Good luck.

Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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You might have done something to turn her off, OR she realized at one point that she wasnt ready to move on from her ex yet, because you didnt sweep her off her feet. Either way, this one is finished, she wont be spending any more weekends with you. Think of what you might have done to turn her off, and dont do it with the next women. And next time you have a date, come here and talk about how it went so you can learn how to not turn women off.

For now, assume she wants nothing to do with you and stop contacting her. If she calls you, you'll be surprised, if she doesnt, you wont because you saw it coming. Nothing you can do now will make her want to be with you-or tell you why she bailed on you.

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txnco06 New Member

txnco06

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I really cant think of anything I did to push her away. I was a gentleman. I was respectful. Also, she hasnt been in a relationship in 2 years. do you think maybe we just steamrolled into things, and it overwhelmed her? Regardless, Im backing off, and going to let her make the next move.

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txnco06 New Member

txnco06

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Thank you for your reply. It was helpful, not too mention totally opposite of one response I had received. So for a matter of weeks, don't bother contacting her? Seems like a bit of time to wait. But I suppose it took me this long to even meet her, I will have to presevere and go with it.

Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

Posted
Posted
I really cant think of anything I did to push her away. I was a gentleman. I was respectful. Also, she hasnt been in a relationship in 2 years. do you think maybe we just steamrolled into things, and it overwhelmed her? Regardless, Im backing off, and going to let her make the next move.

 

Being a gentleman and being respectful has its place. Theres times you should be aggressive and busting her chops, but all in fun. if you dont challenge her in any way, and you show her that youre getting too attached to her too quickly, you come off as boring and needy, which isnt attractive.

 

Thank you for your reply. It was helpful, not too mention totally opposite of one response I had received. So for a matter of weeks, don't bother contacting her? Seems like a bit of time to wait. But I suppose it took me this long to even meet her, I will have to presevere and go with it.

 

Its not about waiting for her, its about forgetting about her. She just showed you that she isnt really interested in you, or she wouldnt have blown you off like that. You cant be that desperate that you would wait around for her to blow you off again.

 

This isnt weeks, its goodbye forever, unless she contacts you and makes up for blowing you off. Do not under any circumstances, contact her. She probably blew you off for another guy that she was talking dirty to, but he blew her off for the weekend, which is why she made plans with you. You never know, but assume you will never talk to her again.

Jamone Member

Jamone

Posted
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i agree with the others. Easier said than done because you had a bite of the chicken leg while you were starving and it then got taken away from you. Move on, have fun with your mates, try meeting other people. If she gets in touch with you then great. If not, no big deal. This is not the last time this will happen to you my friend.

NervisPervis Established Member

NervisPervis

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her reason was so she could have "girls night out".

 

I can't believe that after all of the posts I've made on this subject, on this and many other similar sites, that I'm still the only one that gets it. "Girls Night Out" DOES NOT mean spending time bonding with her girlfriends. It means going out and meeting guys at meat markets. She did not blow you off for her girlfriends, she blew you off for other men that SHE HADN'T EVEN MET YET!!! Guess what? She met them and she LIKED them. And all of her little party girlfriends let her know that THIS is A LOT more fun that stuffy old you.

 

But wait. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. Maybe they all went out for mani-pedis then out to a Starbucks for a coffee. Home early.

 

Naaa...Move on. Find someone who likes you and is not ACTIVELY looking for something better, because that's EXACTLY what she was doing.

Edited by NervisPervis
rafeal Member

rafeal

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The best advice I ever got in this situation, was to give her 2 weeks. if you don't hear from her by then she doesn't care. Don't sweat it and get busy with your own life. That way your not pining away for her.

Badenov Established Member

Badenov

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Gotta agree. She blew you off in a disrespectful manner. Even if you do start up again, she'll just do it everytime someone more interesting comes along.

 

If she does try to contact you, blow her off. At least you'll have the satisfaction of not being played.

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