brokendreamz Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 So, had a harsh start to the year with my girlfriend/fiancé leaving me after 8 years together. Finally accepted she's not 'the one' and decided I am ready to begin dating. Hit a few Internet dating sites and after 4 fairly poor experiences, I hit gold and last night had a date with a girl that for the first time since my ex I feel attracted to... Problem is, she is ULTRA shy! Now personally I find this quite cute and it doesn't bother me too much as I'm sure that if we spend more time together she will come out of her shell but the thing that's really bugging me is that I really have no idea if she's that in to me. I know it's only been one date (and actually as I write this I'm feeling like a bit of a bunny boiler!!) and she has agreed to a second but I am doing literally ALL the leg work here and getting very Luke warm short responses in return. Any one got any suggestions on how to tell if she feels that initial attraction or indeed how to help her feel at ease with me so she's not soooo shy?? I'm not one to grab any girl and try to make a go of it so to find this one who I think would be great as a significant other is making me want to push things... I think I really need to slow down lol!!!
manji123 Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Patience. It takes lots of patience but in the end it could be an awesome relationship because the bond will be a little stronger since she doesn't just let anyone in. My advice is to take it slow and go with a "monkey see; monkey do" approach. What I mean by that is you should start to open up with to her about things and don't expect any immediate response from her. Slow and steady is the way to go. Now I would stay away from relationship talk, especially about your previous experience. Instead start with silly inconsequential things that are still sweet and sincere. Like maybe talk about a childhood pet and what a softie you can be or an embarrassing story. Start small but let her know that you are starting to bring down your walls and open doors.
Peace&Love Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I'm an outgoing person but I completely shut down when I'm around a guy who I really like. So I'm pretty sure I know how she's feeling if she's really into you--not sure how to act, feeling self-conscious, trying hard not to scare you off... Just take things slow but let her know you're really into her by complimenting her. It will help her build her confidence in herself and in you.
Rinas Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Just go out and have a good time. Don't worry yourself too much. Go with the flow, don't set any expectations, just keep things and conversation flowing. She's into you enough to go on a second date, perhaps she will open up some more after this one. Keep us posted.
FinOuch Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 As a shy girl...I can tell you that yes...you need to take it slow and let her come out of her little shell all on her own. If she feels pressured at all, it'll freak her out and that will be that. Also, if she weren't actually interested in getting to know you more then she would not have agreed to a date two. I can tell you that I'm not at all receptive to new people in my life, and so if I'm not feeling any kind of connection (be it potential relationship or even just friendship) then communication will pretty much cease...and I certainly wouldn't agree to another outing. As for how to get her to warm up to you...that just takes time. Have patience, show her your fun (and funny...humor is endearing) side, and she'll just naturally start feeling more comfortable around you.
olivec Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Just play it cool man, she'll come around trust me. You must not get emotional or too agressive or like others have said it'll scare her off and obviously you dont want that.
Recommended Posts