unuh Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I'm wondering how many folks on here are both single and unemployed (or underemployed) at the moment. I was laid-off from a job I loved last year due to budget cuts and I had a painful break-up soon after. I'm seriously underemployed at the moment - in retail - and I've had two dates in the last year plus a handful of failed almost dates (trying online but thing don't work for a variety of reasons). So, like I said, just wondering who else may be getting hit from two sides at the moment.
Lrrrrman Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I'm young still (21) so I haven't been in that situation for more than few months and haven't really ever been fully dependent on myself, but I know where you're coming from. Situations like this can really do a number on a persons confidence, especially the longer it drags on. For me, I typically keep plugging away at whichever is least intimidating (in my case it would be a job interview and the subsequent new work environment), I wouldn't put the social life completely on the backburner, but I'd put more effort into finding success in the more comfortable area as opposed to spreading myself too thin in too many areas. Success in one area can really have an impact everywhere. Another thing that has helped me is focusing on some of my hobbies. I play soccer too much (4 leagues, 4 nights a week) and usually am in better spirits after a game than I am a night at home. I feel more confident and energetic. I, as well as others have gotten the same feeling from activities such as jamming on the guitar with friends or intense video gaming. I'd usually never tell a potential partner initially how much I sit infront of a screen with the sticks in my hand, but they don't have to know right away, they'll just see that little confidence boost I know it sounds pretty general, but I guess it boils down to taking it one step at a time. The first step is always the hardest, so in my experience I take the one that feels the most comfortable (which is almost never the dating route for me).
grkBoy Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I'm wondering how many folks on here are both single and unemployed (or underemployed) at the moment. I was laid-off from a job I loved last year due to budget cuts and I had a painful break-up soon after. I'm seriously underemployed at the moment - in retail - and I've had two dates in the last year plus a handful of failed almost dates (trying online but thing don't work for a variety of reasons). So, like I said, just wondering who else may be getting hit from two sides at the moment. I was struggling in the past, and it caused a RL I had at the time to fail...but when I was unemployed and single, I never went looking to date. I only focused on finding work. I never understood why people try to find love when they need to get their lives together. Maybe it's just me.
tigressA Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I'm young still (21) so I haven't been in that situation for more than few months and haven't really ever been fully dependent on myself, but I know where you're coming from. Situations like this can really do a number on a persons confidence, especially the longer it drags on. For me, I typically keep plugging away at whichever is least intimidating (in my case it would be a job interview and the subsequent new work environment), I wouldn't put the social life completely on the backburner, but I'd put more effort into finding success in the more comfortable area as opposed to spreading myself too thin in too many areas. Success in one area can really have an impact everywhere. Another thing that has helped me is focusing on some of my hobbies. I play soccer too much (4 leagues, 4 nights a week) and usually am in better spirits after a game than I am a night at home. I feel more confident and energetic. I, as well as others have gotten the same feeling from activities such as jamming on the guitar with friends or intense video gaming. I'd usually never tell a potential partner initially how much I sit infront of a screen with the sticks in my hand, but they don't have to know right away, they'll just see that little confidence boost I know it sounds pretty general, but I guess it boils down to taking it one step at a time. The first step is always the hardest, so in my experience I take the one that feels the most comfortable (which is almost never the dating route for me). I like this post. Do whatever feels most comfortable. I will say, though, that pretty much everyone I know (including myself) would not even be thinking about dating if their life wasn't sorted. They'd be focusing first on finding gainful employment, and then getting back on the social scene. In a lot of cases, finding a job connects you to new people with whom to build your social circle.
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