filmbuffy Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I am a dumpee... long story short, my girlfriend of 3 years expectantly broke up with me almost 4 weeks ago. She came home, said things were not working out, she no longer loved me, there was no spark or chemistry there. She said she needed to take some time to herself to figure out who she was, what she wanted, try to determine what makes her happy. She has been in long term relationships since high school (she is now 30). She has never been single. However, turns out there is someone else and she is moving in with them in about one week. She divorced her husband and moved in with me six months after the divorce.... What does this say about this individual? Is she the grass is greener type? Does she have commitment issues? Is this new relationship she is rushing into going to work? Who quits a relationship without talking about the issue or trying to work on it first before quiting? Does she even care she has hurt me, destroyed me? Does she think about me? Does she have regrets?
John Michael Kane Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I am a dumpee... long story short, my girlfriend of 3 years expectantly broke up with me almost 4 weeks ago. She came home, said things were not working out, she no longer loved me, there was no spark or chemistry there. She said she needed to take some time to herself to figure out who she was, what she wanted, try to determine what makes her happy. She has been in long term relationships since high school (she is now 30). She has never been single. However, turns out there is someone else and she is moving in with them in about one week. She divorced her husband and moved in with me six months after the divorce.... What does this say about this individual? Is she the grass is greener type? Does she have commitment issues? Is this new relationship she is rushing into going to work? Who quits a relationship without talking about the issue or trying to work on it first before quiting? Does she even care she has hurt me, destroyed me? Does she think about me? Does she have regrets? So she cheated with you and then cheated on you. Can't be surprised there. She's the type who jumps from man to man. You knew this from the start.
thelovingkind Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 It sounds like she could have a love addiction. Basically, these people crave the coke high that infatuation and new love delivers in the first year or two: tingles, excitement, adrenaline, feeling "alive" and buzzy, head over heels, etc. Once this dies they simply drop everything and walk away - grumbling about a "lack of chemistry" and "no spark" - off to find their next fix. The things to watch out for are a history of 1-2 year relationships that all ended for no justified reason aside from the fact that the "spark" was lost. There is also a very selfish personality underlying these love junkies. They are just using you for a fix. Part of that fix involves conjuring the impression of a powerful connection through quick and false means rather than doing the groundwork of building up real trust and comfort and reliability in a relationship. So look out for high-sounding, phony talk about the one-of-a-kind "love" and "connection" you two have that doesn't ring quite true, as if neither of you have earnt it.
Author filmbuffy Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Thelovingkind... you couldn't have hit the nail anymore square on the head. She claimed to have a deep deep connection with me when we first started. Never felt a love like ours ever before in her life. And now I am hearing the same thing about this other person. She is so happy and so in love..... how do you make someone aware of what they are doing?
John Michael Kane Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Thelovingkind... you couldn't have hit the nail anymore square on the head. She claimed to have a deep deep connection with me when we first started. Never felt a love like ours ever before in her life. And now I am hearing the same thing about this other person. She is so happy and so in love..... how do you make someone aware of what they are doing? She's not happy and in love, it will be a few months or even weeks before she moves onto the next one.
SugarLily Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this. It would appear that this girl has some kind of dysfunctional relationship with herself which she projects into her relationships with others. It sounds like she's told you a load of bull**** to 'soften the blow' of the break up - i.e ' She said she needed to take some time to herself to figure out who she was' . . . Tell her to save herself the time and effort - because it's pretty clear what she is: a twat. This girl is 'one of those girls' who can't be without a man - she can't be single. It seems like she never completely commits herself to anyone. There's a distance between her and any man she's with that means she can cut them off and move onto someone else without being emotionally invested. People like this have no conscience; they are entirely self absorbed. Is this relationship going to work? Does she care about you? Does she regret what she's done? My guess would be NO NO NO. But you know what? You shouldn't give a flying ****. This girl has done you the biggest favour of your life. This is your opportunity to work on yourself and the start of you growing into who you want to be. When the time is right - you will meet the right person - and you will thank God that this loser left when she did. x 1
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