Manic Star Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 My life is in shambles. It is so extensively decimated that I don't really give a crap anymore and have resorted to sitting back and watching it scatter in the wind. I have however been feeling a strong desire to share my story on the forums. If the world is going to fall apart I might as well try to get a few laughs out of it before it does. So here it goes. I am a 29 year old guy. I have never been in love nor in any kind of relationship. Once upon a time I felt that I was waiting for the right girl to appear. That girl never did, and my status on relationships have changed drastically for the worse ever since. For the past decade I've dragged my way through school and some personal life barriers. I put all my effort into dozens of courses I absolutely detested in hopes it would give me a brighter future. Obviously the world doesn't work that way, as I much later learned. All it did was delay my pursuit of what truly motivated me in life and put me far far behind all peers that I ever knew. At the current point I am in no position to maintain a stable long term relationship. I have no money, no job, no career, and, lastly, no achievements of any sort to save my ego with. I've been told that I'm remotely good looking but that doesn't seem to change much. With the present day dating market being worse than the economy it is becoming increasingly tough for latecomers to the game to find even a minimal instance of decent romance. Furthermore, looking to the future I fear the path I have chosen may render it even harder to form intimate attachments of any sort. I fear I must begin preparing for the possibility of being single forever. All these years it was the prospect of love that motivated me. But now in one sudden revelation every hope that I once held has been utterly crushed. I feel very cheated by life, and am very dismayed that those I once held dear let this happen to me. I now find myself depressed and suffocating, half from a lack of intimacy and half from regret at all the years wasted. But there is nothing I can do to change the past. So it is with great sorrow I must face the tragedy that has become my life. Summer is ending once more and I have yet to watch the sun set along the beach buried in another's embrace. Perhaps I may wait forever, and only ever know such a scene from a movie or novel. But who knows? Maybe it is better this way, what with fate and it's most peculiar ways.
neowulf Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 Dark days indeed. I don't know your story, or what challenges you've faced. I do know this. It's never over until you give up... or die. That's it. Till the day you die, you have an opportunity to start down a different path, to try again, to rebuild. I won't tell you it's easy. Or quick. I won't tell you it doesn't hurt, that it doesn't involve facing down disappointment, fear and loss. Yet, in the end, once you choose to embrace the struggle, rather than run from it.. Life is FULL of potential. You haven't wasted your 29 years. You've learnt (the hard way) what clearly doesn't work. You can use that. Use what you've learnt about yourself to reflect, to grow.. to choose a new path. When I was young, I was overweight.. today I train 4 days a week and am in great shape. When I was first out uni, it took me 3 months to find a job.. even then the one I found was a entry level position.. a crappy job, not one you'd expect a uni grad to have to take up. But took it up I did.. and worked my way up to my senior position today. You can't control the cards life has dealt you. But you *can* control your attitude and the way you look at your life. You don't have to do it alone. My advice, find a life coach. Find a counselor. Find someone to help you untangle your thinking, set out a plan of action and start the fight to take back your life. Life begins to improve the day you set down your past, forget about the things you "can't" do and focus all your effort forward, to the future you're trying to create for yourself. Growing up, I watched people die before they even reached 30. They had lives full of potential, suddenly torn away from them by fate. You're still breathing.. don't waste your chance. Peace.
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