love or obsession

[Dblock10]

how do you know if you loved someone, or if it was just obsession?

[Buttercup84]

I guess they can go hand in hand. Maybe during the honey moon stage you can become obsessed or when they start pulling away and you are afraid of losing them.

 

Loving them I think is really caring for them and wanting them to be happy. Being best friends as well. Hard to describe really !

[Dblock10]

so when they start pulling away you become scared of losing them, is this classed as obsession?

[antinko]

so when they start pulling away you become scared of losing them, is this classed as obsession?

 

Obsession is when you're constantly thinking about something to the point where those thoughts take precedent over everything else. Ultimately, obsession is unhealthy and leads you to potentially act 'out of character' or negatively influences rational thought processes.

 

Love is different because you can be head over heels in love with someone but still be in control of your life and thought processes. That's my take on it anyway.

[thelovingkind]

Love doesn't necessarily preclude obsession; one could have a long, easy, loving marriage of twenty years and suddenly become obsessive about their partner if something arises that threatens the relationship.

 

However, there's another type of obsession - what we know of as romantic love typically lasts from a couple months to a couple years and is characterised by lusty, heady, "alive" emotions that can include obsessive or compulsive thoughts about the other person. The long term, slow burning "attachment" form of love tends to pick up from there and is more associated with feelings of security, warmth, comfort, quiet intimacy and so on.

[luvsickpuppy]

Someone once told me, love IS a form obsession.

[Dblock10]

hmm its interesting.

 

see i am slightly ocd and a thinker by nature.

 

and all i can do at the moment is think about my ex. i dont even know why, because as much as id like her back, i feel like she has changed, changed from who i thought she was and not who she is...

 

meaning im totally confused.

[dicky_fish]

From Antinko's Coping Thread:

 

TRUE LOVE 101: What does it take to be that significant other?

Infatuation

 

• Sees the other person as perfect
  
• Wants to get own needs met; selfish
  
• Spends all time with the other person
  
• Quickly “falls” for the other person
  
• Other relationships and friendships deteriorate
  
• Dependence on the other person causes
  
• Jealousy frequently
  
• Lasts for a short period of time
  
• Distance strains and often puts an end to the relationship
  
• Quarrels are serious and common
  
• Quarrels can seriously damage the relationship
  

Love

 

• Sees the other person’s flaws and still loves them
  
• Wants to serve the other person; selfless
  
• Still spends time with others
  
• Takes time to build the relationship
  
• Other relationships and friendships grow stronger
  
• Trust and understanding results in less severe and less frequent jealousy
  
• Encompasses a long-term commitment
  
• Survives and sometimes is strengthened because of distance
  
• Quarrels are less serious and less often
  
• Quarrels can strengthen the relationship
  

[69ways]

I say obsession= total devotion to someone