North by Southeast Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Two years ago I had a very messy breakup with someone I was deeply in love with and had serious intentions of marrying. I was obviously crushed when she dumped me, and she had a number of not-so-nice things to say about me when it happened, though she kept insisting the breakup was not because of anything I had done wrong. There were times, mostly toward the latter stages of our relationship, where I acted immature (usually picking dumb fights with her because I felt starved for attention), or I used her as too much of a crutch for some unrelated personal issues I was going through. Anyway, I felt horrible about all that stuff, and even though she said that wasn't the reason for the breakup, I've carried around a lot of guilt and regret since then. I was still a kid in a lot of ways a couple of years ago. So much has changed for me since then. I moved over a thousand miles away and started on a totally different career path. More profoundly, I feel like I've changed a ton on the inside. Some of my immature traits that came out during our relationship; well, I've done some introspecting, and I can honestly say that I seem like a completely different person now in that respect. There was a ton of love and affection in our relationship; we cared deeply for each other, good sex life, passion, etc. In the end, apparently she felt we were too different and that something had always been missing from her. I feel like I did not do a good enough job supporting her interests while we were together; now, I look back, and rather than seeing that she's wrong for me, I see someone that I feel that I really could have been with for a very, very long time...and I look at who I am today, who I've become, and I think I could easily be the person she wanted... After all this time, I still miss her deeply, and I keep thinking, "What would things have been like if she would have met me as I am now, and not who I was?" I've been tempted to try to reconnect with her via e-mail; of course, I wonder if she believes that I'm still just the same person, no matter what. I don't know what good it would do, seeing how far we're separated by both time and space. But I can't deny that I still love her.
blakjak Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I say try. Nothing ventured nothing gained right? It might be scary and daunting but give it a chance. Be brave!! You never know, she might miss you too. Time heals all wounds. In the case of love, I think it's deffo worth fighting for, even if the odds might be stacked against you
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