BOBBY77 Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 So I have a problem that I never thought I would encounter. I have met two woman both are very nice , cute , and cool. One has her life together, good career, house, etc. She is all set up and has a comfortable life. We went out and had a good time, but I didn't feel any deep sexual attraction toward her, as cute and good of a person as she is. The other woman is more or less starting over with her life, is in a transition period, still renting, and doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. But when we went out I felt a strong connection with her, almost like a need to see her again. We are all 33, and I am already working in a well paying career, and looking to start a long term relationship. The idea of being with somebody unstable scares me, but I realise that the personal attraction is there. who do I choose?
smudge21 Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Maybe you're put off a little because the first woman has her life together and maybe there's a little bit of intimidation. Whereas the woman number 2 has that extra appeal because you feel you can help and guide her. We all, deep down, have that feeling of joy from helping someone. You can see many threads around here about people being attracted to those who are considered damaged or at least with a few issues. It's nice to save people. To be the hero. Okay, I'm not saying it's that bad in your situation, I'm sure woman number 2 will be fine with or without you, but take a look and see if that is the real attraction there. One would possible be all nice and easy, whereas the second will be more of a challenge, maybe. I won't tell you which one to chose, only you can make that decision. As for initial attraction, well I can say that when I haven't had that initial attraction to a girl and the relationship has built up slowly, then it's always been stronger and meant more. Compared to that initial wow factor which has seemed rushed and eventually ended quicker. I guess it's comparing a slow burning candle to a roaring fire - the candle lasts longer but is smaller, whereas the fire is huge but burns out quicker. That's just my opinions, so don't make you decision based off that. The fact I'm single going through a bad split and on here should tell you I'm not the best person to give dating advice... lol.
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