samantha.shore Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 This Saturday morning I work up with a strange feeling after my (now ex) boyfriend and I had gotten into a fight the night before. He had been very short-tempered and angry with me for a couple of days before, and even though I rarely snoop and shouldn't have been snooping, I looked through his e-mail. From there, I found that he had signed up for a dating website the day before, made a profile saying that he was single and looking, and was talking to a number of girls through message (All "Hey what's up?"s). I was shocked and hurt, so I immediately called him and broke up with him. We had been dating for two and a half years, and up until yesterday morning I had been happy with our relationship and I truly did not see this coming. He apologized too many times to count, saying that he never went through with anything, it was the biggest mistake of his life and that he was just feeling "smothered" by me so he did it out of anger. He also blamed the fact that he had just moved to a new city and was starting Law School, as one of the factors, because he was transitioning and was confused. As much as I am betrayed by the entire situation, I still love him and he is swearing to me that he will become a better man, that he will change, and that losing me has made him see how much he has taken me for granted. I don't know what to do. Should I give him a second chance? Any advice is appreciated
Nohbody Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Complete betrayal of your trust, are you sure this is the kind of guy you want to be with? Long term, like. Married, kids, think he won't feel smothered then? Think he may not find himself on whatever dating website/hologram of the future is most accessible? Even if he doesn't, will you ever be sure? If you think he's the one, then I'd recommend some kind of couples counseling. I say that a lot, but seriously - there are underlying issues in the relationship that need a trained professional to dig up and expose to the hideous light of day (everyone has these, don't worry). Either way, he has to prove to you that he can be trustworthy if the both of you want to continue a relationship, and that means actions - not words. End transmission.
Art_Critic Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 You were right to breakup.. any BF that is using an online dating profile to talk to women isn't your BF anyhow.. he is looking for his next relationship. Gut hunch tells me that since he hadn't found his replacement yet that he is asking you back till he finds that.. There is a chance that he screwed up and is remorseful, but only you would know if he was telling the truth.. Second chances only work if the reason for the breakup gets fixed.. and the reason he created the profile is up in the air.. Your move..
danceallday Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Slippery slope. I had the same situation almost exactly. Forgave him and then he ends up going out and ******g some other girl anyway. Once a liar, always a liar. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You were right to dump him and never feel bad about snooping. You wouldn't have had to snoop if he was honest with you.
pandagirl Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Ugh. Sorry this happened to you. Even if he was never going to follow through with anything, it's like, what kind of person thinks this is something OK to do? He knew it was wrong, but he still did it. He felt smothered so he went on a dating site to talk to other girl to make himself feel better? C'mon -- that is so pathetic. It shows his very selfish, weak side. Of course, the choice is up to you. But I think you already know in your heart whether you think you can trust him or not.
Recommended Posts