Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 By parties I mean get drunk and dance to loud music kinda parties. With both men and women. Okay, in that case, if my SO chose not to invite me, I would take that as he'd rather get drunk and dance to loud music with anyone and everyone else other than me. That would bum me out, pretty hard. That's never happened to me before, and if it did, it would probably be the end of the "relationship," if there really was one. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Darn. I like NFL draft parties Tasha, you need to go find some new guy. You're cute, you like NFL draft parties, you're young. Don't worry about this loser! I'm sure there are hundreds of guys who would trip all over themselves to be with you. I don't like NFL draft parties, but if forced to choose between that or a Mary Kay party. . . I'd go NFL. At least they usually have wings and beer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 I read some of your old threads and it seems like you two have much bigger problems than this. I mean he's been sleeping with other women, while you want an exclusive relationship. Why are you still seeing him? Lol. The reason I said to disreguard my current situation is because I have already made plans to break it off. This thread is now a question for people who are in committed relationships so I can get a few perspectives of this from people actually in a true relationship. Because when I decide to date and happen to find a decent guy (supposedly), I want to think I should trust him and his reasons would be different than the reasons my current guy has. I feel like I may be scared to let men go to parties without me now. And that isn't fair. So I was looking for opinions on dating and partying without the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Tasha, you need to go find some new guy. You're cute, you like NFL draft parties, you're young. Don't worry about this loser! I'm sure there are hundreds of guys who would trip all over themselves to be with you. I don't like NFL draft parties, but if forced to choose between that or a Mary Kay party. . . I'd go NFL. At least they usually have wings and beer. Thanks zengirl!! I know I deserve more but don't worry! I told him on our next day off together (wednesday) I would like to hang out. So that is when I will end it. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I don't like NFL draft parties, but if forced to choose between that or a Mary Kay party. . . I'd go NFL. At least they usually have wings and beer. Whhhaaaat? What about a MK party that has enchiladas and margaritas?? Link to post Share on other sites
sm1tten Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I think if I'm dating someone and they actively exclude me from their social life, that's a problem. But I don't expect to go everywhere that he goes or hangs out. We both need our own space. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Whhhaaaat? What about a MK party that has enchiladas and margaritas?? You guys are making me hungry. And thirsty. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Whhhaaaat? What about a MK party that has enchiladas and margaritas?? Oh, sure. If it has good food and fun booze, I'll go. But I'm not getting in on your pyramid scheme. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Oh, sure. If it has good food and fun booze, I'll go. But I'm not getting in on your pyramid scheme. Haha! I'm not a pyramid schemer, but a couple of my friends are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Damn. I thought MK was code for Mortal Kombat at first.i was a little excited. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 By parties I mean get drunk and dance to loud music kinda parties. With both men and women. I'm not a party animal, so if she wants to go alone, then she can go if she wants to. To be honest I don't see the appeal of parties. I've been at a few, but they never appealed at me. One time I went with my nephew who has friends that party at this level: http://bit.ly/o13Rqk They (my nephew's friends) had so much "fun" they ended up unconscious in other people's yards covered in sh*t and vomit wearing those very big pink glasses. It's just not my kind of crowd, I don't see the appeal and I'm not a drinker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 I'm not a party animal, so if she wants to go alone, then she can go if she wants to. To be honest I don't see the appeal of parties. I've been at a few, but they never appealed at me. One time I went with my nephew who has friends that party at this level: http://bit.ly/o13Rqk They (my nephew's friends) had so much "fun" they ended up unconscious in other people's yards covered in sh*t and vomit wearing those very big pink glasses. It's just not my kind of crowd, I don't see the appeal and I'm not a drinker. Haha. Gross! But those are the types of parties I basically mean. Drink so much you don't remember whether or not you partied to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Haha. Gross! But those are the types of parties I basically mean. Drink so much you don't remember whether or not you partied to begin with. I'm not judging anyone, but I hope to land a girlfriend that has a certain level of class and doesn't drink that much. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Haha. Gross! But those are the types of parties I basically mean. Drink so much you don't remember whether or not you partied to begin with. If you're not into those kinds of parties, you two aren't compatible anyway. If you are, yet he intentionally excludes you from having fun together, it paints a pretty grim picture as well. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Ughhh, why do you need to break up with him on a day off?! He is going to love you breaking up with him, and all the reasons you give him. He will then know again how much his behavior and antics bother you. You are giving the LOSER an ego boost. Your best bet, which may be extremely difficult for you in the beginning phase, is to cut him off suddenly without warning and without any explanation. Change phone numbers, do not just block number, block email addresses, block FB, and any other communication outlets. He will either behave like a stalker or not care one way or the other. If he behaves as a stalker, keep pounding another nail in his coffin. Teach him his loser ways are not going to work, and that you are a cut above the rest, above the other women he is now playing. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Ughhh, why do you need to break up with him on a day off?! He is going to love you breaking up with him, and all the reasons you give him. He will then know again how much his behavior and antics bother you. You are giving the LOSER an ego boost. Your best bet, which may be extremely difficult for you in the beginning phase, is to cut him off suddenly without warning and without any explanation. Change phone numbers, do not just block number, block email addresses, block FB, and any other communication outlets. He will either behave like a stalker or not care one way or the other. If he behaves as a stalker, keep pounding another nail in his coffin. Teach him his loser ways are not going to work, and that you are a cut above the rest, above the other women he is now playing. I think she's behaving with integrity and doing what works for her---showing she values herself enough to stand her ground, say her peace, and walk away. Randomly blocking a person without warning is childish and just shows you cannot assert yourself. ETA: Tasha, I do think you could totally say your peace on the phone, though, if you don't want to wait till/waste your day off. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I think she's behaving with integrity and doing what works for her---showing she values herself enough to stand her ground, say her peace, and walk away. Randomly blocking a person without warning is childish and just shows you cannot assert yourself. ETA: Tasha, I do think you could totally say your peace on the phone, though, if you don't want to wait till/waste your day off. This boy has been mistreating her from day one, she owes him no explanation. He obviously has been able to continue using her for an extended period of time. Spending a day together breaking up is ridiculous. If he had shown her respect in the relationship all along, yes it would be polite to break up with explanation. Kick the dog to the curb, this is the best way in the situation, period. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 This boy has been mistreating her from day one, she owes him no explanation. He obviously has been able to continue using her for an extended period of time. Spending a day together breaking up is ridiculous. If he had shown her respect in the relationship all along, yes it would be polite to break up with explanation. Kick the dog to the curb, this is the best way in the situation, period. It's not about what you "owe" a person. It's about choosing to act always with integrity yourself and assert yourself; if you only act like a good person when someone else is doing what's right, you aren't really a good person. I didn't think she was going to spend the whole day with him. And, as I said, she needn't do it in person. But just randomly blocking him is giving him more power, and it's childish. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 It's not about what you "owe" a person. It's about choosing to act always with integrity yourself and assert yourself; if you only act like a good person when someone else is doing what's right, you aren't really a good person. I didn't think she was going to spend the whole day with him. And, as I said, she needn't do it in person. But just randomly blocking him is giving him more power, and it's childish. Sorry, disagree. She again, owes him no explanation. He has been and will be able to smooth her over with sweet words, and BS explanations. She needs to block and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Hopefully even if she has a little trouble asserting herself on that day off that she will keep making small steps until she gets to her desired result. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Sorry, disagree. She again, owes him no explanation. He has been and will be able to smooth her over with sweet words, and BS explanations. She needs to block and move on. Where did I say she owes him anything? She owes herself something: that's what asserting yourself is about. Hiding like a child is not empowering. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Where did I say she owes him anything? She owes herself something: that's what asserting yourself is about. Hiding like a child is not empowering. Sorry, it is not hiding, to figuratively slam the door in the face of an emotionally abusing twat! Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Allow? You think we're all control freaks or something? Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Sorry, it is not hiding, to figuratively slam the door in the face of an emotionally abusing twat! The guy is a jerk, and I'm not saying she needs to let him down gently. But she needs to tell him. It is hiding to just block people and not assert yourself and say, "I don't like the way you treat me, so this is over." That's what grownups do. They assert themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 The guy is a jerk, and I'm not saying she needs to let him down gently. But she needs to tell him. It is hiding to just block people and not assert yourself and say, "I don't like the way you treat me, so this is over." That's what grownups do. They assert themselves. Last words are not a bad idea, but enabling a jerk to respond IS a bad idea. ~Never let a jerk get the last word in! Best way is to say you had enough and good bye, then block ALL means of communication. Link to post Share on other sites
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