Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I post like 4087648599 threads BUT I am just curious. What is everyone's take on this question? By the way, ignore my current situation for all of you who know it. I am not asking due to that... I got my answers for that specific situation. Sorry if this is too closely related to that question. But I am asking for future reference if it ever happens to me and I was actually in a mutually committed relationship. Let's say your SO is committed to you. If they were going out to parties and not inviting you to come along... how would you react?
Janesays Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Allow? Is he my boyfriend or is he my property? Because my boyfriend is 'allowed' to go wherever he pleases. I don't own him.
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 "Allow" is such a weird word. If my BF randomly wanted to go to parties without me, I'd be skeptical. If I weren't free or available, he could totally still go, and if it's a Boys' night, that's fine too. I have girls' nights and I go to social events stag when he's busy. But if he were actively excluding me, I'd find that odd. Partners don't actively exclude other from their social engagements.
Desensitized Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Allow? Is he my boyfriend or is he my property? Because my boyfriend is 'allowed' to go wherever he pleases. I don't own him. This. If they're trustworthy and you know they're committed to you, why make a big deal out of it? The only reason a person would ever make a big deal out of this is if the person knows their s/o isn't trustworthy or faithful. If you can't trust, i suggest breaking up.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 What Zengirl said (BTW dump him already )
Rinas Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I have no issues with a SO attending parties or outings with friends without me. I have trust. However, if they didn't want me there and were hiding something, I wouldn't be in the relationship.
Ginger Beer Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Parties where? If it's a party at someone's house I'm OK with that provided I know the people and she's safe. Parties in night clubs, no way.
LoveandSuch Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I post like 4087648599 threads BUT I am just curious. What is everyone's take on this question? By the way, ignore my current situation for all of you who know it. I am not asking due to that... I got my answers for that specific situation. Sorry if this is too closely related to that question. But I am asking for future reference if it ever happens to me and I was actually in a mutually committed relationship. Let's say your SO is committed to you. If they were going out to parties and not inviting you to come along... how would you react? Tasha, ha ha, are you not at a place yet where you know you are too good this guy. Why not just show up at one of the parties?
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 "Allow" is such a weird word. If my BF randomly wanted to go to parties without me, I'd be skeptical. If I weren't free or available, he could totally still go, and if it's a Boys' night, that's fine too. I have girls' nights and I go to social events stag when he's busy. But if he were actively excluding me, I'd find that odd. Partners don't actively exclude other from their social engagements. I agree when the partner cannot come due to various reasons and the other still goes. That is 100% okay. But I was moreso saying if your SO didn't invite you on purpose. I have never actually dated someone like that who was committed. I think it would be weird though if you were in a relationship and they did that. Was just wondering if anyone was ever in a situation like that. I had a similar situation but it isn't quite the same. But also I happened to ask my mOm last night if that ever happened to her. She said yes that she used to go without her bf all the time because he was no fun. She also said that she was going to the parties to potentially hook up because she was young and wild. I have always allowed my partners to go without me if I wasn't able to make it for some readon. But if they didn't invite me at all I think I would just worry.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Tasha, ha ha, are you not at a place yet where you know you are too good this guy. Why not just show up at one of the parties? Oh trust me I AM too good for him haha. But still I made this thread as a general question and not about him in complete honesty Because I already know that MY situation doesn't mean anything at all since a) he is stupid and b) he won't commit to me and c) he is only going to parties withoug me to get laid I feel that I should trust my partner and to the point where I would not have to check up on him. I would feel pretty crappy if it were for nothing. That's why I asked this question just to see if it is normal for people who are actually committed to go to parties alone.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 What Zengirl said (BTW dump him already ) I actually set a date! Which oddly enough is within the week when we both have a day off together.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Parties where? If it's a party at someone's house I'm OK with that provided I know the people and she's safe. Parties in night clubs, no way. Hmm well what if it is a house party with a ton of people (male and female) drinking together?
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 somedude is going to parties without you? I can't decide if that is sarcasm or not
dreamingoftigers Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I actually set a date! Which oddly enough is within the week when we both have a day off together. Just keep doing small stuff each day to reinforce your decision.
Ginger Beer Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Hmm well what if it is a house party with a ton of people (male and female) drinking together? I assume me and this hypothetical girlfriend are quite serious so I would have to really trust her for it to get serious, so the answer would be yes. But I wouldn't date a girl who drinks. I probably sound very demanding, lol.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Just keep doing small stuff each day to reinforce your decision. Thank you!!! Support helps
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 I assume me and this hypothetical girlfriend are quite serious so I would have to really trust her for it to get serious, so the answer would be yes. But I wouldn't date a girl who drinks. I probably sound very demanding, lol. Hah not too demanding! Even though i kinda laughed since you have a pic of a beer and have beer in your name. I thought it was a turn on if a woman drinks beer
KR10N Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I'm not the partying type, so it wouldn't bother me?
zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 But I was moreso saying if your SO didn't invite you on purpose. I have never actually dated someone like that who was committed. I think it would be weird though if you were in a relationship and they did that. Was just wondering if anyone was ever in a situation like that. Nope, never been in that situation, and yes, that would be weird. Don't get me wrong, my BF is not my property and I don't tell him where he can and can't go, but if he actively didn't want me places where it would be totally normal and appropriate for me to go (again, if it's a guys' night or something, or a particular thing that excludes me by nature, such as a society he has a membership in and the event is ONLY for members), I'd consider it a problem.
Ginger Beer Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Hah not too demanding! Even though i kinda laughed since you have a pic of a beer and have beer in your name. I thought it was a turn on if a woman drinks beer That made me laugh.
Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 But I was moreso saying if your SO didn't invite you on purpose. I have never actually dated someone like that who was committed. I think it would be weird though if you were in a relationship and they did that. Was just wondering if anyone was ever in a situation like that. What kind of parties are we talking about here? I wouldn't invite my SO to a Mary Kay party. And I probably wouldn't want to be invited to an NFL draft party (even if there were other SOs there). Other than that sort of thing, I can't think of any good reason not to invite my SO to a party, or for my SO to not invite me.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 By parties I mean get drunk and dance to loud music kinda parties. With both men and women.
torn_curtain Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I read some of your old threads and it seems like you two have much bigger problems than this. I mean he's been sleeping with other women, while you want an exclusive relationship. Why are you still seeing him?
Author Tasha49 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 What kind of parties are we talking about here? I wouldn't invite my SO to a Mary Kay party. And I probably wouldn't want to be invited to an NFL draft party (even if there were other SOs there). Other than that sort of thing, I can't think of any good reason not to invite my SO to a party, or for my SO to not invite me. Darn. I like NFL draft parties
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