zengirl Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Dude, that is a pretty disgusting thing to say about any child. Thank goodness that there are plenty of fine men who are able and willing to fulfill a familial role with the children of a woman they love. Let's hear it for the great step-parents. Yep, pretty gross. My step-father was an awesome parent.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I think it's odd to have it be a preference. Most guys I know over 30 will date a woman with children, if they like the girl. But preferring it? My ex dated a girl with kids, and he apparently said he actually like her more because she had kids --- he liked hanging out and playing at being a 'family.' But he REALLY wants kids. Like yesterday. I'm not sure if that's just him expressing his biological clock ticking, just something stupid he said, or if I even heard it right, but another possible hypothesis. My friend prefers women who already have children because his family has some not so great genetic history he'd rather not pass on. He's happy to adopt though, and has no problems (that I can tell so far) with becoming a responsible 'other adult' in the life of a child. Dating someone with kids is kind of like being a fantastic aunt or uncle. Until you decide to marry the parent, you have fun with the kids, then send them 'home' later. The parents still have most of the responsibility. It's not so bad....
Woggle Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 My only issue with dating women with kids is what happens when both you and the kids get attached and all of a sudden she decides to pull the plug on the relationship. I also have to look at the past that led to her becoming a single mom.
AHardDaysNight Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Most men don't want a woman with kids, unless they are his kids. I agree, that makes her less desirable. Not to every man, but to most men.
lino Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 Quick to get defensive over a simple cause-effect statement, aren't we? That certainly was not what I meant. FWIW, I also do think that a large reason more men than women are focused on obtaining power and career status, is that many women are attracted to power and career, whereas it is not usually a criteria for men. *shrugs* Oh, wait, am I making it 'all the women's fault again' now, too? Nice try to back pedal but it's obvious you were passing the buck. It's not the first time I've seen you write such things. You're wrong about both things, especially about men trying to attain power & career status simply to attract women. Men do that for money to buy a house, car, food, boat, tools, pets, holidays, electronic goods, whatever. We(most of us anyway) don't have people buying things for us so we need to work hard in our chosen careers to make money to buy those things. We don't do it just to pull women. It could be different where you live but trying to paint the whole world as 'women only look beautiful because that's what men want' & 'men only work hard to impress women' is an absolute garbage statement. Both women & men have great things to offer the right person... Themselves!
Els Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 (edited) Nice try to back pedal but it's obvious you were passing the buck. It's not the first time I've seen you write such things. Yeah, because it is totally backpedalling to point out a glaring misinterpretation that you made of my post. If you say, "I like coke", I accuse you of being a drug abuser, and you say you mean the proprietary brand of soft drink, I suppose you're also backpedalling, huh? You're wrong about both things, especially about men trying to attain power & career status simply to attract women. Men do that for money to buy a house, car, food, boat, tools, pets, holidays, electronic goods, whatever. We(most of us anyway) don't have people buying things for us so we need to work hard in our chosen careers to make money to buy those things. We don't do it just to pull women. It could be different where you live but trying to paint the whole world as 'women only look beautiful because that's what men want' & 'men only work hard to impress women' is an absolute garbage statement.Um, you're totally going off on a spiel here. What I said was, "Some women think they only need to offer their looks and men will be all over them (because the poster I quoted was talking about such women), but men can play a part in getting rid of this entitlement syndrome by not placing so much emphasis on appearance and appreciating other things that women can offer more." I am not entirely sure where you got your 'this gender does this for the sole reason of attracting the opposite sex' assumption from. Would you like to show me? I'm not sure how you somehow managed to equate 'a large reason' with 'the only reason'. I am also not sure that you understand evolution. Evolution is displayed in ingrained nature, not in conscious choices. I am pretty sure that a man looking at a woman with svelte hips isn't consciously thinking, "Damn, those hips mean she's fertile and could give me children to pass down my genes." Likewise, evolution has ingrained in men and women the innate desire to do those things that generations of people of the opposite sex have found attractive, without them consciously thinking about it. Both women & men have great things to offer the right person... Themselves!The world would be a lovely place if this held true for everyone. Unfortunately it doesn't. It would be far more accurate to say: 'Both women & men should have great things to offer the right person... Themselves!' Edited August 16, 2011 by Elswyth
dasein Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 I think it is funny that you consider what you said a compliment. At 36, she's 'still attractive and only has 1 kid'. That's hilarious. Does she still return your phone calls? I wouldn't. And you are surprised that she got 'defensive'?? You just insulted her. She was being polite for not simply smiling, making up some excuse, and cashing out for the evening. clueless... is all I gotta say. Good point. OP, say NOTHING to them of substance, no compliments, no observations, no revelations about yourself. Regardless of what you say, if they find you attractive or of value, you can say pretty much anything to a woman and they will think even direct insults "cute" or "edgy." If they don't find you attractive or of value, anything you say will be used against you. Talk only about light, humorous things as if speaking to a child you are playing with and your life with women will become much much easier and better. Took me many years to learn this.
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