Lost on Jerseyshore Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I dont understand what has hit me. 1 Month ago I was very happy and in love. I posted last week that "he" hit me with the " I dont think I am in love with you anymore, line" completley out of the blue. Infact we just moved into a new home together 4 weeks ago, we have lived together for 2 years. We had so many plans for the future and this home was going to be our stepping stone to that. When he 1st told me how he felt a week and a half ago we spent the full week saying that we would "work" on things. Didnt have a clue as to what would be worked on cause nothing was broken, but he said he was going to try. But Friday night after work he told me he doesnt want to work on anything and he is leaving. This is a relationship that has really been perfect for 2 years. Absolutely not 1 hint of a problem what so ever. He keeps saying over and over that he loves me , cares about me but isnt "inlove" and the attraction isnt there anymore . Well what the hell you could have fooled me. Everything he does and says SHOWS that he does love me! So yesterday he came back to take his clothes we talked and laughed and I tried to stay strong and I did not beg him, but I was heartbroken. I said I feel like I lost my bestfriend and he said no that he is still there and that part of our relationship wont change. He will continue to pay for the house the next 11 months while he stays with his parents. A very big wrench is that we work together, I will see him everyday. We both are on vacation for 3 weeks. It starts tomorrow, we had so much planned for this vacation. We are still planning to keep to a few of the plans to help us move into this new "friendship" relationship that we are going to need to have for when we go back to work. But I am absolutely sick, I dont know what to do with myself. I cant stop crying and I want to call him so bad and tell him I am having a hard day. Will it help if I call? I am so confused I just want my best friend, my love back. How do I get through the day without the love of my life here?
WindWhisperer Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 do u think maybe he got scared? the whole living together buying a new house...this is it..im settling down thing might have scared him im so sorry i know how u feel. best thing to do is no contact at all he is obviously in a weird space and needs some time back off for a bit as hard as it is
Author Lost on Jerseyshore Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 With our talks in the last week I asked if he was scared if thats why he is doing this and he said No, not at all. I coulnt take it and caved and called him a few mins ago. He told me it was ok that I called its only day 1 since the move and I need to keep myself busy, go out and do things. That he is still my friend, blah blah blah. Its a very rainy gloomy day here in Jersey and it fits my mood completly. Where can I find some info on "NC" that everyone here talks about?
WindWhisperer Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 almost every post mentions it. Basically: DONT contact him whatsoever Not even check his facebook. NOTHING! This will be best for you in the long run no matter what happens
ConfusedT Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 hey wind. well, as im sure you heard before. it truly does NOT happen over night. he has emotionally checked out a LONG TIME AGO, there were signs, but because you were so happy, you probably overlooked them. TRUST ME, i did! there are always signs, insignificant maybe, but there are some! but NC is the ONLY way to go, take it from someone who has broken NC every single time ive tried it. today is day 5, the longest ive made it with this man. i am struggling, but i KNOW that gaining my independence and inner-strength back is priceless. im not at that point but me & everyone else on LS will help u get through it! today is REALLLLLLLY bad for me too! :.....( but i refuse to continue to let him KNOW he has got the best of me, even tho he still does...
WindWhisperer Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 We broke up last sunday... and I havent contacted him at all. THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO. But I know its for the best.
ConfusedT Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 that is really good. i cried, begged, pleaded and begged some more to try to fix things with my ex until i just couldn't anymore.. i jus didnt have it left in me. i am emotionally drained to the fullest extent. congrats on your 7 days though, especially right after breaking up, that is true strength...
Author Lost on Jerseyshore Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 He sent me a text saying he hoped I was making it through the day ok and to tell me Iam not alone going through these "changes" .... Uggghhh I did reply but all i said was "TY" I feel like hell and am very thankful I have 3 weeks of vacation before I need to be back at work to see him...
D-Lish Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I feel for you, the whole situation sounds terrible. And you have to work together?? I'd say it's worth changing jobs over... How can you possibly get over someone if you have to see them every day???
Author Lost on Jerseyshore Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 I would love to be able to change jobs so I wouldnt have to see him but I cant just leave my career.. $$ and benefits and 2 children to think of...
ConfusedT Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 rough! but ya have to do what ya have to do! thank goodness i dont have to see him, but if i did, i would just keep a smile on my face even if i was BREAKIN DOWN INSIDE... i kno u are and so am i, but hey this won't kill us, even tho we feel like it will. gotta get past the initial pain =( and hit acceptance at some point, but without NC, i think you are just going to make it harder for yourself..
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