irc333 Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I have been talking to this woman that I had me through friends, she's about 30, single, never married, no kids. I got to talking to her about dating, and mentioned that all I meet are single mom's so it's nice to meet someone without kids. And her response was, "Why? Don't you like children?" And I said, "Well, it all depends on the kids, but there's also the fact, if they're young kids, the parent won't have time to date, or there's the ex-husband drama, and all that." And she did understand where I was coming from, but I'm wondering that even to women who don't have kids, me saying that I'm always meeting single moms and its rare to meet single non-moms, well...I feel like I'm coming off as that guy who will wind up chasing kids off my lawn.
sm1tten Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I think it was a "nicer" response than the one I would have given, which is a straight up "no." I abhor children. I have found that that is extremely confusing and somewhat off putting to a lot of people but I refuse to sugarcoat it. So if you don't actually feel strongly about children, I think it was a good response that suggests that you don't have anything against them but aren't especially interested in dating someone who has them.
FitChick Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 (edited) Actually, I find that men are relieved that I don't have kids and couldn't have them anyway thanks to tubal ligation. Usually it's because when they were married, the birth of children signaled the death of their marriage. Happens more often than not. In my dating pool of middle-aged men, men with small children are generally on their second divorce, so that's a double deal breaker for me. If the kids are older teens or self-supporting, that is much better. No kids at all is perfect! Edited August 14, 2011 by FitChick
grkBoy Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I'd just never bring that up Agreed. Unless the woman suddenly says she can't stand children, I would leave that one alone. Look how many women have cats and dogs, and the men who complain about allergies or how the woman is obsessive about her pets. Most women have maternal instincts. Tread carefully because she might see 30, never married, and no kids as if she failed in life.
zengirl Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I have been talking to this woman that I had me through friends, she's about 30, single, never married, no kids. I got to talking to her about dating, and mentioned that all I meet are single mom's so it's nice to meet someone without kids. And her response was, "Why? Don't you like children?" And I said, "Well, it all depends on the kids, but there's also the fact, if they're young kids, the parent won't have time to date, or there's the ex-husband drama, and all that." And she did understand where I was coming from, but I'm wondering that even to women who don't have kids, me saying that I'm always meeting single moms and its rare to meet single non-moms, well...I feel like I'm coming off as that guy who will wind up chasing kids off my lawn. I would be annoyed if a guy said that to me. It's just a negative way to start a conversation, and kind of awkward. Plus a compliment that involves comparing her to other women, by saying she doesn't have their negative traits, is never a real compliment. Just don't say it.
Author irc333 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Yeah, I knew of this one guy that got sick of a woman who apparently (so he claimed, this is what HE told me), that this one woman pretty much was always having to go home on short notice to let her dog , "who has a small bladder", to take the dog out all the time. I even had a guy tell me to never date someone that has pets, becuase they always have to be home early to let their dogs or something. I even thought that was cold. Agreed. Unless the woman suddenly says she can't stand children, I would leave that one alone. Look how many women have cats and dogs, and the men who complain about allergies or how the woman is obsessive about her pets. Most women have maternal instincts. Tread carefully because she might see 30, never married, and no kids as if she failed in life.
Author irc333 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 (edited) In my dating pool of middle-aged men, men with small children are generally on their second divorce, so that's a double deal breaker for me. If the kids are older teens or self-supporting, that is much better. No kids at all is perfect! Right...I mean, I am kinda scratchin' my head as to why a woman without kids, who happens to ALSO meet a man without kids, would indeed the most compatible. I didn't start the conversation as such, it slowly turned towards dating later on when we were talking about something earlier. Of course, people offend so easily these days, anyhow, with all this politically correct bullcrap going on. ...people are so offended by the 10 Commandments on display demanding that those pieces should be torn down. Quite silly actually. (but that's another post) Actually, I find that men are relieved that I don't have kids Right, and I'm sure these men had probably made it obvious to you by some kind of comment, sigh of relief or some kind of body language, right? LOL I'm sure you've heard, "Yeah, it's hard to find a single woman over 30 without kids, makes dating so much easier" For a woman to be offended by someone who actually finds their attributes / criteria attracted, to the point where that comment would make that person NOT date them...well...would indeed be an ironic thing. LOL Edited August 14, 2011 by irc333
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