saw my ex after 5 months now we are "friends"?

[liteoftheworld]

My ex(of 1 year) and I had a horrible ending to our relationship. To me there was no going back after the night we broke up. Last weekend I was in town near his home and I texted his cell(on the off chance he hadn't changed his number) to get back a pair of my favorite boots that I had previously left at his house. He responded and we set up a time that night(saturday) for me to come by and get them.

 

On the drive over I was very nervous since the past 5 months I had successfully supressed the majority of my feelings for him. And I was afraid that when I saw his face I would get very emotional and this meeting would turn into something overly dramatic. However when I got there it was very anti-climactic. He opened the door to see who it was, then he closed the door went to get my things and brought them back out. I said "thanks" and walked to my car placed the bags in the truck, stopped to stare at him a moment then drove away.

 

Upon returning to my hotel I felt like I should have said something or done something. Then he texted me to say he had forgotten to give me another pair of shoes that he had of mine. I replied and said I would come by in the morning to get them.

 

I got there sunday to pick up the shoes and he invited me in. We went into his room and immediately remembered all the times we spent in there. I declined his invitation to sit as I waited for him to give me my shoes. Once I received the box we stood there staring at each other, then he asked how I was. I simply replied "fine" then I said I should be going. He opened his room door and we headed for the front door.

 

I stepped outside and headed for the car thinking this would be a repeat of the night before until he asked "so we can't talk?". So I put the shoes in the car and walked back over to his front step. He invited me to come back inside but i felt like it wouldnt be a good idea so i opted to talk outside. We stood and talked for awhile like aquantences. While we were still together he had gotten my name tatted on his forearm, so I got his name on my back(I was naive, and am, young so forgive the immature actions). He saw I hadnt gotten my tattoo covered and he showed me that he hadnt removed nor covered his either. Eventually I felt as if I stayed much longer things would get very emotional so I left.

 

As soon as I left I texted him to thank him for my things and he replied with an old pet name he use to call me and thanked me for the time we spent speaking. I then began to cry thinking about the "good times" and as if on que he texted me apologizing for the way we acted on his birthday(the night we broke up).

 

From that day forward we have been texting at least once a day and we have talked everynight for hours(give or take a couple of days). About that night, "our" past, new people in our lives, about our feelings for each other, etc. And I feel as if he is trying to lay the foundation down for us to go back down that path again. However, everytime I think about what could be i remember what has been and it brings me saddness from the deepest part of my heart.

 

I still do have feelings for him, but I know that if I do nothing will be the same(thankful) and nothing will be different(for the right reasons). I know he likes the new woman he is talking to (even tho he says he doesnt see himself with her) but I cant help but feel the way I do about him. I feel like the longer I continue this cheraude of us being "friends" the more my long nights of fighting those feelings will have gone to waste. I don't believe that we could ever have a healthy relationship but I feel better that we have speak.

 

I just need to know how I should handle this. Do I discontinue this "friendship" or continue it and see where it takes me? Help....

[Orianne]

Communicating like this is likely to result in the two of you becoming friends with benefits, or outright getting back together. Based on your previous experience with this guy, it sounds like you don't believe a new relationship with him is something that could work.

 

If you're already having a hard time being friends, then it's probably best to cut off contact with him again. It's the best thing you can do to protect yourself from more heartbreak.

[radiodarcy]

i would suggest discontinuing the friendship.

 

i tried being friends with the same ex not once but twice after he dumped me. the first time it was a friends with benefits situation - - which was really awkward and difficult for both of us. i wanted a relationship. he wanted to date other girls and basically use me as a back up (even though he would never admit the last part).

 

after awhile, we stopped having sex; stopped talking altogether for about three months. when we did go back to being friends, i remembered all the things i loved about him. and again - - it made it especially hard to listen to him talk about dating other girls. so i just cut off the friendship altogether.

 

for me - - the biggest issue was him talking to other girls. because i knew sooner or later he was going to want to get into a relationship with someone else. and once he did - - it was only a matter of time before he threw me overboard. (from my experience, most guys don't keep in touch with exes once they find someone else).

 

so, i made the decision to retain what dignity i had left and jump ship myself. it was probably the best decision i ever could have made.

[gameslpdftfe]

îùç÷é ëãåøâì very nice - thanks îùç÷é áøàõ | áàáì èøàáì 2 | áãéçåú | îùç÷é ëãåøâì