Roxxstar Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 My ex-girl friend has been reaching out to me more, texts, IM's, and we had dinner last night. It was perfect, we instantly became "us" again. Then she says me she has something to tell me, she's moving to Seattle and planning on leaving next June. She tells me she loves me completely and I am the most important person in her life. I completely love this girl, she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I told her I want to go with her, that I love her and then I say...marry me! She doesn't say no, she just says I have too much here, my house, my job, says I love Arizona, that following her to Seattle isn't the right thing for me to do. The rest of the evening is basically us going back and forth about why all that stuff is superficial and how its not where you are, but who you are with; the scenery and employment are a far down the list. She said she doesn't have a reason why not to say yes, except that its crazy. I don't know what to do, I was completely sober and serious I want to marry her but I can't figure her out. Thoughts?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I told her I want to go with her, that I love her and then I say...marry me! She doesn't say no, she just says I have too much here, my house, my job, says I love Arizona, that following her to Seattle isn't the right thing for me to do. BOLD: she doesn't say no? Italics: her way of saying no in a nice way... like when people get dumped with a bunch of reasons that don't necessarily apply or with canned lines. from what you have written I see her as wanting a friendship out of you and nothing more. my guess is because it would relieve her of the guilt and reassures her that you are still on her finger. Maybe, I'm wrong and you're just the kind of person she wants in her life but doesn't want an intimate relationship with... I don't know. My advice: do you want a friendship with her? would it hurt you to hear about her new boyfriends? can you completely forgive her for breaking up with you?... answer these questions because all I see coming out of this is a friendship at the most.
Author Roxxstar Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 I was thinking we we're having a romantic moment which was spring boarding us back together but after your response I'm terrified you may have nailed it. I would kill me to ever hear about her having a boyfriend. I could never JUST be friends with her. Forgiving her for breaking up with me would be easy IF, as I thought, she was feeling she made a huge mistake and was actually considering marrying me. She said she talks to her friends about us all the time, that in her words, "On a love scale of 1 - 100 everyone else she's ever dated rate a 0, and I'm 1000." That she's never felt so much love in her whole life. But if you're right and she will never have romantic feelings for me again, then relieving her guilt is the last thing I want to do. And losing me completely is the consequences for breaking up with me... She's left an incredible whole in my life that I don't think I will ever recover from, I feel hollowed out. If she is having these same feelings but will only ever think of me as a friend, I have to cut her out of my life completely right now. I guess we see what we want to see because reality is to hard to face. How do I live completely without her? I have to ask her some very direct questions. Thank-you HofaP
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