LK30 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) I think I'm finally realising why I'm having no luck with dating! I'm 32, been doing my job 5 years and living with my younger brother. All my life I've never really known what I want to do. I've debated travelling and learning languages but never done it, and not really got any specific interests. I've been single for 1.5 years and I think the above explains why nobody is attracted to me. Yes I have had offers in the past, and offers for 'fun' but without sounding fussy (although I obviously am!) they're either too old, too young, married or I just don't fancy them!! I have thought a lot and I really think I am good at feeling very interested in girls, but unfortunately SUPERB at hiding it. And I am realising that this is probably why I haven't got a girlfriend, because there are so many times where I sit there and think 'I hope she texts me first,' especially after dates and I don't signal my feelings. I have no idea why I do this. Perhaps the reality is I will never meet anyone until I sort my life out. I'm a good person, kind and genuine, and really want to fall in love, but clearly there is something putting girls off, and it seems that the right girls aren't coming along. Maybe it's time to just pack my bags and leave the UK but I do have a son who lives a few hours away so I don't want to desert him I'm no oil painting but surely finding love shouldn't be this hard!! I have the option of renting a house off my yonger brother but I'm in two minds whether to do this or just go travelling. I just think I'll debate it forever! I want to feel loved :-( Edited August 13, 2011 by LK30
spiderowl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Don't give up hope. You sound a nice guy - a bit unfocused but then as long as you do your bit and are willing to work hard at whatever you do, a girl won't mind that. It seem to me you are meeting girls and even gong out on dates but then it goes no further. From what you said, you don't signal that you like them. This is really important. I don't know about other women but I usually wait for that signal before I will let him know I'm interested in him; somehow I need him to show confidence in a relationship before I feel confident enough to trust him further. I may be unusual in this, I don't know. All I can say is that if the girls you are seeing do not know you like them and are attracted to them, they will probably make an effort to be friendly (rather than make an approach because women often leave that to the guy). If you don't respond to their friendliness with more interest and then letting them know you are interested in them as more than friends, they will get confused and eventually lose interest. Think of it as reassuring the girl. Reassure her you like her, you've had a good time and you'd like to see her again. See if you get a different response after this to what you've experienced before. I find it attractive if a guy is brave enough to show me how he's thinking about me. It shows a certain strength which alone is appealing.
Author LK30 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Thanks spiderowl, It's good to get a female opinion. I think you're completely right, and because I don't often look interested (even though I might be) they lose interest. There may well be a few girls out there interested, but both men and women love the thought of the other one making the first move which is the easy position to be in. I've always found frustration from having a younger brother who has never had any trouble finding nice (and attractive!) girls, being popular with people of different ages and being able to turn his hand to anything. Whilst he's decorating houses and working his way up the job ladder I'm still stuck on sorting out personal development issues! I feel that I'll struggle to change my ways until a girl comes along who really will have an effect on me that makes me want to be brave and say I'm interested!
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