iris219 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 My friends and I meet for drinks several times a month. We're all professionals in our late 20s to early 40s. We don't go to bars to get wasted; we just go to socialize. My best bet for meeting men will be in bars. (There are very few singles over 30 here, but the ones who are single can often be found in bars.) My friends and I are perfectly normal, so what's so wrong with meeting someone in a bar? Is is just because alcohol is involved? How do you feel about dating people you meet in bars?
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Totally depends on the bars. I have nothing against meeting guys in bars, but clubs are bad news.
Author iris219 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 I agree about clubs. My type of guy wouldn't be hanging out in a club anyway. I don't do clubs--unless it's someone's bday and they insist on dancing. I have no problem meeting a guy in a bar either, but one piece of dating advice I often hear is to avoid meeting people in bars.
Woggle Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Because many women in bars will damn near spray with mace simply for looking at them.
Author iris219 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Because many women in bars will damn near spray with mace simply for looking at them. I've heard of women who prefer to not be approached at the gym or grocery store, but never heard of one being against it in a bar. It comes with the territory and is expected.
Nexus One Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I guess it kind of depends what kind of crowd the bar attracts and what type of bar you go to. A lot of bars have bad reputations, they attract people who get wasted, are loud, start fights. Of course there are bars with more class which also tend to attract people with more class. I think it's the really sleazy bars that might be ruining the image of the bar scene, but then again, there are a lot of sleazy bars and a lot of people who frequent them. Personally I don't see the appeal of bars, plus I don't like the taste of alcohol. Champaign is the only alcoholic beverage I find to have a pleasant non-chemical or non-bitter taste, perhaps also some of the dark European beers that have a strong wheat taste to them which goes well with a dinner. Other than that, ugh.
Author iris219 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) I guess it kind of depends what kind of crowd the bar attracts and what type of bar you go to. A lot of bars have bad reputations, they attract people who get wasted, are loud, start fights. Of course there are bars with more class which also tend to attract people with more class. I think it's the really sleazy bars that might be ruining the image of the bar scene, but then again, there are a lot of sleazy bars and a lot of people who frequent them. Personally I don't see the appeal of bars, plus I don't like the taste of alcohol. Champaign is the only alcoholic beverage I find to have a pleasant non-chemical or non-bitter taste, perhaps also some of the dark European beers that have a strong wheat taste to them which goes well with a dinner. Other than that, ugh. I just imagined a guy walking into a really dirty, sleazy bar and ordering a glass of champaign. Bars are appealing because there aren't many other public places you can hang out with your friends after 9 or 10 pm. Edited August 13, 2011 by iris219
Woggle Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I've heard of women who prefer to not be approached at the gym or grocery store, but never heard of one being against it in a bar. It comes with the territory and is expected. It depends on how attractive she finds him. If he is not attractive to her he is a disgusting creep who is sexually assaulting her.
Author iris219 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 It depends on how attractive she finds him. If he is not attractive to her he is a disgusting creep who is sexually assaulting her. We've had this discussion on LS before. A creepy guy is unattractive regardless of how physically appealing he is. I often get hit on by attractive creepy guys. Creepy and attractive can (and does) coexist. I'd rather a less attractive, normal guy talk to me.
Nexus One Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) I just imagined a guy walking into a really dirty, sleazy bar and ordering a glass of champaign. I tend to only drink champaign on new years eve, so you won't see me doing that. Perhaps I would consider ordering champaign or a dark beer in a restaurant with a dinner or when celebrating the conclusion of a business deal, but that's about it. I once walked into a bar after a cart race and people that have driven carts without power steering might know what I'm talking about when I say it is an INTENSE workout. You're in a fire resistant suit and you have to exert a huge amount of force on the steering wheel to control the cart. After the race I was dripping with sweat, I was soaking wet. I think I never lost so much water in 30 minutes in my entire life. So I was thirsty as hell and the only place that sold something I could drink was a bar. So I walked in and ordered a soda and I think the female bar tender was surprised or something about someone not wanting to buy alcohol and she started trying to sell me beer. I felt like I was dying of thirst, yet she kept trying to convince me to buy beer instead of getting me that soda. I kept saying, no a soda is fine, but she kept pushing. Then she started hitting on me, but I really wasn't in the mood for that and she started to annoy me, because all I really wanted at that moment was that f*cking soda. Then eventually after many minutes she served me a huge glass of cold soda, which I finished in like 4 seconds. I've never been as thirsty in my life as I've been at that moment. Edited August 13, 2011 by Nexus One
somedude81 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I think there is a difference between meeting somebody at a bar and meeting somebody at a bar and going home with them.
AD1980 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I never got the stigma either..Im 31 most people in their 20's and 30's socialize on weekends at bars and lounges etc where not old enough to play bingo on weekends just yet.. I think im a pretty solid guy i dont know why id get labeled shady for beign in a bar or trying to pick a women up as opposed to somewhere else
phineas Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 It depends on how attractive she finds him. If he is not attractive to her he is a disgusting creep who is sexually assaulting her. Pretty much. We've had this discussion on LS before. A creepy guy is unattractive regardless of how physically appealing he is. I often get hit on by attractive creepy guys. Creepy and attractive can (and does) coexist. I'd rather a less attractive, normal guy talk to me. I don't buy that. I used to hang with a guy that was literally a pussy magnet. When he walked into a bar it was like a vacuum because women just flocked to him. He would literally paw at women, peek down their shirts, pull them up, other women would see him do that & couldn't wait to be the next in line. If someone less attractive tried the same thing he'd wind up with her beer bottle jammed down his throat & called a creep. Hot guy being a perve = not creepy to bar sluts.
henderson14 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Unfortunately, the problem I have had with meeting girls from bars is when I meet them days after there is not nearly the chemistry or attraction there was that night, so it seems to be a waste of time. Its just hard to get a good feel for someone when its dark, crowded, and alcohol is involved.
Author iris219 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 I don't buy that. I used to hang with a guy that was literally a pussy magnet. When he walked into a bar it was like a vacuum because women just flocked to him. He would literally paw at women, peek down their shirts, pull them up, other women would see him do that & couldn't wait to be the next in line. If someone less attractive tried the same thing he'd wind up with her beer bottle jammed down his throat & called a creep. Hot guy being a perve = not creepy to bar sluts. He probably got away with it with women who were either attention whores or women who weren't used to attention from attractive men. Sane women (i.e. not bar sluts) NEVER enjoy being groped by strangers. I hate overbearing, obnoxious people; I don't care what they look like. I prefer men who are reserved. I got hit on by a hot creepy guy last week who I kept trying to get rid of. I had to be rude to him to get him to leave me alone. It was a shame he was so cute, but so creepy. Attractive does not override creepy. Attractive gets your foot in the door, then you have to rely on your personality. More than good looks are necessary when it comes to dating. There have been lots of attractive men who have tried to talk to me, but if I don't find them interesting or I think they're creepy I move on. I turned down an Orlando Bloom lookalike a couple weeks ago because I found him boring and we had no chemistry.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Meeting in bars almost always results in one person or the other regretting opening themselves to a stranger who was also drinking. I know I have blown off women after feeling that. It's all great while you're out there but when sobriety comes back it's "do I want this kind of person giving me the green light to go misbehave like that again?" It's not what I need or want. Rarely has it been better unless someone is fixing you up with someone and the bar is the venue. If you just meet someone there after several drinks, it's where you been all my life? followed the next day by, yeah, I'll call you, NOT.
Woggle Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I actually prefer to the dive bars to the trendy nightclubs. Women you find in dive bars actually tend to be very nice while women in nightclubs tend to have their nose so far in the air they can probably smell the clouds.
Tasha49 Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 It may just be me but... I hear a lot of stories of people just going to the bar to get drunk and hope to leave with the thought of getting laid. And to me that is not my kind of crowd if most of the men at the bar are only hoping to get some drunk girl into his bed.
Cee Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 My longest relationship (4.5 years) was a man I met in a bar. I met my current boyfriend at a politics meet up in a bar. Both times I was not looking to meet a man, but they caught my attention. I don't recommend bars as the only way to meet men. Your social life hopefully doesn't focus only on drinking. Good luck.
phineas Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 He probably got away with it with women who were either attention whores or women who weren't used to attention from attractive men. Sane women (i.e. not bar sluts) NEVER enjoy being groped by strangers. I hate overbearing, obnoxious people; I don't care what they look like. I prefer men who are reserved. I got hit on by a hot creepy guy last week who I kept trying to get rid of. I had to be rude to him to get him to leave me alone. It was a shame he was so cute, but so creepy. Attractive does not override creepy. Attractive gets your foot in the door, then you have to rely on your personality. More than good looks are necessary when it comes to dating. There have been lots of attractive men who have tried to talk to me, but if I don't find them interesting or I think they're creepy I move on. I turned down an Orlando Bloom lookalike a couple weeks ago because I found him boring and we had no chemistry. I agree with you here. But remember, the topic is meeting people in bars & I am only relaying my experience when it comes to bars. And yes, they were sluts. So obviously they cater to a different type of man.
zengirl Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Because many women in bars will damn near spray with mace simply for looking at them. Really not my experience of being in the kind of bars I go to. My favorite bar (it's a fancy beer pub---think a place with a bunch of really good beers on tap and fancy IPAs) is almost all dudes and a few hipster-ish girls. . . I don't think you'll find a girl there who has NO male friends, and a woman can go grab a drink there alone and feel totally safe (I have). I've met several of my male friends there, and know at least 50% of the people on a normal night when I go in because I go at least once a week, usually, just for a quick beer and to get out of my house---either to meet friends or just to drink a beer & grab a bite (they have good food) or sometimes I even bring my laptop and do school work there. I go to less lovely bars than that too, but mostly pubs, and they all have similar vibes. Nice people, I'm comfortable, and I'll talk to anyone there. Now, if I'm at a club or somewhere I'm not used to, I might be more on guard (though I'm still not bitchy to every fellow who approaches me, surely; I only get bitchy if the guy is being persistent and I've already declined his attentions or if he --- a stranger --- tries to touch me or something). I think there is a difference between meeting somebody at a bar and meeting somebody at a bar and going home with them. Of course! I actually prefer to the dive bars to the trendy nightclubs. Women you find in dive bars actually tend to be very nice while women in nightclubs tend to have their nose so far in the air they can probably smell the clouds. Agree. See my description of bars above. If I go to the club, it's because it's someone's birthday or something and we went to dance. On a girls' night normally or with a mixed group of friends. I don't "meet" people (friends or suitors) in clubs. They're not good for talking at all. Bars are excellent for socializing and can even build a sense of community. I'm not talking about going and getting plastered, but the beer pub I like has movie nights, special events, live music, etc. And almost all the people who go there are awesome.
Recommended Posts