wezol Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 If you are a gentlemen you are a nice guy. Women dont want a nice guy...they say they do but when one comes around they say i m not really attracted to him. I have been both and i get much much better results when i act like an *******. There is a difference in being a gentleman, and being a pushover/doormat. Rest assured, I am no doormat and I have no issues in gaining interest from women. My ex wife can attest to my not being a doormat. A friend joked about me probably being whipped, she's the first to say that's far from the case. Either way, if I meet a girl who thinks being a gentleman equals being a pushover and would rather me act like an ass, then she isn't the girl for me and she will be kicked to the curb. I will not sacrifice my morals for a woman.
Woggle Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Instead of acting like a jerk why not just not deal with women who like that sort of thing and hold out for a woman that does appreciate a gentleman? Good things come to those who wait.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Instead of acting like a jerk why not just not deal with women who like that sort of thing and hold out for a woman that does appreciate a gentleman? Good things come to those who wait. YAY for you!!! Kinda of liking kissing frogs to meet your prince!! One day you will find someone who appricates you for how nice and kind you are!!
Woggle Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 YAY for you!!! Kinda of liking kissing frogs to meet your prince!! One day you will find someone who appricates you for how nice and kind you are!! Exactly. There are women who know how to have a healthy relationship with a man and a man should hold out for one. Just have fun with head cases if you can keep from getting emotionally attached.
grkBoy Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I'm from Chicago, and I unfortunately have to agree with much of the opinion here that women in the Windy City do not appreciate good manners unless it's from a good looking guy with money. I see plenty of women here gripe how the men seem to prioritize the "bro" thing, but these very same women continually reject or friendzone the guys who act like gentlemen. Funniest are when they spend years pushing away gentlemen for college bar douchebags, then complain how their chosen boyfriend is insensitive and has no manners. All of this just perpetuates the cycle of men growing up thinking the only way to get women is by being a narcissistic jerk.
Negative Nancy Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 If you are a gentlemen you are a nice guy. Women dont want a nice guy...they say they do but when one comes around they say i m not really attracted to him. I have been both and i get much much better results when i act like an *******. Like another poster said, there's a difference between being a gentleman and a doormat. My bf is a tattooed, good-looking, confident and cocky badass but at the same time knows when to act like a gentleman. He doesn't necessarily open the doors for me (maybe he does sometimes, i don't pay attention cos it's not important to me) but he acts gentlemanly in other ways: one thing that especially sticks out to me is when we get out of, say, our seats on a train/plane/tables in a restaurant, he always steps back and lets me get out first and makes sure he is behind me and puts his hand on my lower back, i can't accurately decribe it with words but it's such a protective gesture, i love it:love: I can talk to him about anything, and I mean anything. he also cooks for me, takes care of me and my car, cleans my apartment, writes me love notes when he has to leave and makes me laugh every day, picks me up in the rain from work with an umbrella if i ask him to, picks me up from the gym when it's already too dark outside (i kinda live in the woods so i always think about bears and wolves attacking me, even though there are no bears around here and yet he picks me up anyway), chases bugs and spiders for me...basically he puts up with my quirks and makes my life easier and more convenient, my days brighter, funnier and more colorful, as do I with his. My point is: it is entirely possible to be a gentleman without being a doormat. I have alot of respect for him and love the tough-shell-soft-core personality type that he is. I think most women want the mix of a gentleman and a confident, protective conqueror.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I'm from Chicago, and I unfortunately have to agree with much of the opinion here that women in the Windy City do not appreciate good manners unless it's from a good looking guy with money. I see plenty of women here gripe how the men seem to prioritize the "bro" thing, but these very same women continually reject or friendzone the guys who act like gentlemen. Funniest are when they spend years pushing away gentlemen for college bar douchebags, then complain how their chosen boyfriend is insensitive and has no manners. All of this just perpetuates the cycle of men growing up thinking the only way to get women is by being a narcissistic jerk. Sad and partially true!! I don't think one group is the most to blame though. If it makes you feel better I don't really look for guys at frat parties and bars, I usually like quieter and less rowdy guys. Not that that is bad but I don't want a drunken frat boy.
ptp Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I'm from Chicago, and I unfortunately have to agree with much of the opinion here that women in the Windy City do not appreciate good manners unless it's from a good looking guy with money. I see plenty of women here gripe how the men seem to prioritize the "bro" thing, but these very same women continually reject or friendzone the guys who act like gentlemen. Funniest are when they spend years pushing away gentlemen for college bar douchebags, then complain how their chosen boyfriend is insensitive and has no manners. All of this just perpetuates the cycle of men growing up thinking the only way to get women is by being a narcissistic jerk. I am a U of I grad, U of I has the largest Greek system in the entire country it is crawling with Frat boys and Sorority chicks. It is a destructive pattern.
grkBoy Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I found Ms Right years ago. Even asks her to marry me 2weeks ago. Unfortunately for some, she wasn't born or raised her. I don't generally bring that up because some guys love to play the "American women suck" song and dance. However, my fiancé isn't some Stepford Wife, but wasn't raised with many of the shallow/misguided thinking too many have grown up in. I opened doors and pulled chairs for her since day one, and have not stopped. I grew up always liking those tuxedo-wearing gentlemen they would show in cartoons. For me, the etiquette makes me feel like a man, and I use it as a litmus test on women. If she thinks it's creepy or strange, then I know this woman isn't for me. More men need to do that if they want to be gentlemen. Let the "girls" end up with the frat boys who never grow up. Find a woman who appreciates it all.
ptp Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I found Ms Right years ago. Even asks her to marry me 2weeks ago. Congrats!
grkBoy Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I am a U of I grad, U of I has the largest Greek system in the entire country it is crawling with Frat boys and Sorority chicks. It is a destructive pattern. I'm Greek as in Greece. My father is from Athens. I know what you mean though on the frat thing. I never bothered with frats when I went to college. My only gripe are "vlahos" (trashy people) who act like Italian guidos. Yeesh.
zengirl Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Like another poster said, there's a difference between being a gentleman and a doormat. My bf is a tattooed, good-looking, confident and cocky badass but at the same time knows when to act like a gentleman. He doesn't necessarily open the doors for me (maybe he does sometimes, i don't pay attention cos it's not important to me) but he acts gentlemanly in other ways: one thing that especially sticks out to me is when we get out of, say, our seats on a train/plane/tables in a restaurant, he always steps back and lets me get out first and makes sure he is behind me and puts his hand on my lower back, i can't accurately decribe it with words but it's such a protective gesture, i love it:love: I can talk to him about anything, and I mean anything. he also cooks for me, takes care of me and my car, cleans my apartment, writes me love notes when he has to leave and makes me laugh every day, picks me up in the rain from work with an umbrella if i ask him to, picks me up from the gym when it's already too dark outside (i kinda live in the woods so i always think about bears and wolves attacking me, even though there are no bears around here and yet he picks me up anyway), chases bugs and spiders for me...basically he puts up with my quirks and makes my life easier and more convenient, my days brighter, funnier and more colorful, as do I with his. My point is: it is entirely possible to be a gentleman without being a doormat. I have alot of respect for him and love the tough-shell-soft-core personality type that he is. I think most women want the mix of a gentleman and a confident, protective conqueror. Right, that sounds lovely. Certainly we all deserve respect, consideration, and a partner who truly cares for us! I found Ms Right years ago. Even asks her to marry me 2weeks ago. Unfortunately for some, she wasn't born or raised her. I don't generally bring that up because some guys love to play the "American women suck" song and dance. However, my fiancé isn't some Stepford Wife, but wasn't raised with many of the shallow/misguided thinking too many have grown up in. I opened doors and pulled chairs for her since day one, and have not stopped. I grew up always liking those tuxedo-wearing gentlemen they would show in cartoons. For me, the etiquette makes me feel like a man, and I use it as a litmus test on women. If she thinks it's creepy or strange, then I know this woman isn't for me. More men need to do that if they want to be gentlemen. Let the "girls" end up with the frat boys who never grow up. Find a woman who appreciates it all. Congratulations. I will say the "frat type boys" in college (the players) are probably the guys I knew who were most likely to pull out a chair or open a door (in my generation). So, I don't know that I think that's a sign of anything. But I do believe that compatibility is lovely, and if you WANT to do those things, of course, it's good to find a girl that likes it. That's a key to mindset and compatibility for you, and that's fine. (And, of course, I'd find it rude if a guy got to the door first and didn't hold it for me, but I also find it rude if I get there first and don't hold it for him.) FTR, I don't think you should have to hide that your fiancee is not American. Plenty of foreign girls are not Stepford types. I think cross-cultural marriages are awesome and perfectly acceptable. It's only when guys go on the rahrah kick you mention that it's kind of gross.
musemaj11 Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 Chivalry died the day that women stopped thinking that staying in the kitchen was their job as a woman.
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