sally4sara Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Again your assumptions and points are mute. I have never had my hand out. I cannot change the fact that the men I have had the joy in knowing and sharing company with, enjoy catering to a good women, and have not asked me to suck up half of dinner or required me to cook for them. Like i said in a previous post, it is more times than not, that the man wants to cook a fabulous meal and show off his kitchen skills. If the men who ask you out, ask that you pay half or accept you paying half or for the whole meal, good for you, enjoy it. Its would be lovely if you could stick to the bolded part without talking out the side of your face about how it means she doesn't hold herself to a higher (your) standard and the men who are like her partner are not "real" gentleman in every other post. If you're fine with how you're doing and accepting that other people could be fine with a different association you wouldn't need to hand out these half assed insults. Southern. Northern. Midwest. It really doesn't matter; you'll find rude people everywhere. The larger the city, the bigger the population, the harder it is to feel a connection to the people you pass on the streets. I live south of the Mason Dixon now after growing up in the Midwest and if I fell running down the metro platform I guarantee there will be people gawking at me and doing nothing and people who if they are close by will lend me a hand to my feet. It has nothing to do with being a gentleman or a lady - some people just care for others and you can't suss them out by the meals they buy. I can't imagine the trouble I would have found by now if all it took to earn my regard was to buy me a meal.
sally4sara Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 And after finding this, I don't even think you're a woman. I think you're a guy with an alias practicing viral thought. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t290261/
rafallus Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 It has nothing to do with selfishness or who is more deserving of what. It simply involves taking care of that woman who is most important in your life, and making it easier. That's pretty troubling mindset, if applied to a woman you've just met. I have no problem with being courteous towards people overall (unless they are mean by default), but it has nothing to do with them being very important in my life.
NXS Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I agree to a certain point. If a woman is working over 50+ hours a week, I do not believe she needs to come home late and prepare from scratch dinners, rub and scrub feet. There are small ways to show consideration and respect. I think it is absurd for someone to just assume it is one way. No one said that or hinted to this other than the whiney men of LS and DonnaBaby. All smoke and mirrors, I believe. I have absolutely zero respect for women like you. You want all the entitlements of 'equality' but none of the responsibiities. Why should a man pay for all your dates if you are working? and how do you know they like pay all the time, did you ever actually ask them or are you just making presumptions? Oh and why don't you ask them out sometimes now that you're supposedly 'equal'? A lot of men still haven't copped on to entitlement queens like you, I guess they are so used to just getting scraps in return that they don't know any better. I've dated women who know how to treat men and won't settle for scraps any more. I actually blame men for most of this, if more men refused to accept this kind of behavioiur it would be better for men all around. We are getting this kind of entitlement behaviour through refusing to give women consequences for their actions.
Els Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I pretty much agree with Zengirl. I'm not much for the niceties - of course, I'm not going to pitch a feminazi fit if a guy wants to open a door for me, that's just silly. I've seen guys get berated by a woman for offering to carry her stuff - ouch. Berating someone for a nice gesture isn't called being a feminist, it's called being rude. But other than that, I do think it's silly to expect a guy to open doors, etc, and especially not all the time. Dontcha think it'd get tiring for the married guy especially, to purposefully have to make sure to open the door all the time? Bf does it on occasion, but I wouldn't consider him to be of a higher standard, as the OP says, if he were to do it more often. There are other things far, far more important than that. I've known plenty of self-admitted players who would do the whole debonaire door thing, and then kiss a woman behind another's back. I would think less of him if he allowed me to struggle with an extremely heavy load without offering help, yes. Not really because he is the guy, but because he is very much physically stronger - stronger even than most guys bigger than him, in fact. I'd think less of a teenage girl who didn't help her old mom carry a heavy load as well, so don't be throwing gender accusations at me for that.
zengirl Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 That must of been Zengirl's boyfriend, Just kidding:) Why does he have an obligation to donate jackets, because we had fun one night. The jacket was not used in a bull fight, it was placed on wet cobblestone. I'm saying that it was a waste of a jacket. Your thing was, "He has plenty more jackets." If he has stuff he literally has no need of to the point where he's using it wastefully and it's totally fine just to toss a jacket on the street (which may also be littering) because it's "extra" then that makes me sad. If he has things he no longer wants, he should donate them to people who might have use of them. That's how I was raised. And neither my BF, nor I would ever let the door slam in anyone's face, regardless of gender or who they were to us. We both totally believe in the kindness of strangers and resolve to be kind strangers in the world. That's not a gender issue. So much of this is really just about people being kind to one another. Take, for example, the holding of doors. I don't stand by a door and wait for someone to open it for me; I hold the door when I get there first, unless my hands are full, and frequently hold it open for BF, random people, people with dogs, people with grocery bags. It's just a nice thing to do. Totally. We should all be nice to each other! Yes! Here is a guy who gets it! What a useless, empty gesture pulling out a chair. Now my guy knows chivalry! He starts my car for me on cold mornings. If we have both our cars somewhere and snow fell while we were inside he cleans my car off for me before he does his own. Pull out a chair? Big deal. The car thing is awesome. My Mom hates the cold, and my stepfather always gets her car going and warmed up for her on cold mornings. I think that's very sweet. I'm all for people doing kind and sweet things for each other; I just dislike empty gestures. Southern. Northern. Midwest. It really doesn't matter; you'll find rude people everywhere. The larger the city, the bigger the population, the harder it is to feel a connection to the people you pass on the streets. I live south of the Mason Dixon now after growing up in the Midwest and if I fell running down the metro platform I guarantee there will be people gawking at me and doing nothing and people who if they are close by will lend me a hand to my feet. I've never lived in the Midwest and only spent summers in the Northeast, but I've experienced kindness in both places. The last time I was in Chicago, a very nice couple (Chicagoans both) helped me out in the airport when my carryon bag broke open. They had some duct tape, and helped me fix it and re-pack. I'm sure I've experienced other niceness there, but honestly people's experiences vary. I will forever call Korea one of the nicest countries on Earth to expats, as I received immense kindness there (people always helped me when I needed it, no one minded my lack of Korean, the moment I got there, someone helped me with my luggage---a mother and son---and offered to DRIVE me to my hotel (I was being picked up so said no) even though I was a stranger---and they meant it and weren't creepy, and lived a few towns before mine so would be going out of their way; I had tea with the mom again another time---and many of the fast friends I made who were Korean essentially would open their homes and hospitality to you very warmly, more than is typical in America), but most of my friends thought Koreans were rude. (And, in some ways they are, but it's mostly in cases where there manners clash with Western manners. Or crotchety old people who resent foreigners, but you find those everywhere.)
donnamaybe Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I think there's still a lot of chivalrous men in the world. I think a lot of men still hold the door open for women. I always thank them when they do. I think it's charming when men behave so politely and considerately. It shows respect. Everyone should do that for everyone. It is called common courtesy.
donnamaybe Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 The era of the gentleman hasn't ended. I see nothing wrong with a man doing something nice for his girl. If she had a long day at work, and i happened to be off, when she gets home, ill let her get comfortable. Then I'll get half naked and put an apron on (so she has some eye candy) and cook a badass meal. It has nothing to do with selfishness or who is more deserving of what. It simply involves taking care of that woman who is most important in your life, and making it easier. Yep. After my man had finished making me wild crazy in bed he then had me turn over and gave mr a full body massage ending with this delicious light stroking all over that gave me shivers. Now who wouldn't't want to give a foot massage to a man like that?
donnamaybe Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I think it's also important for women to show their men kindness and consideration. Taking care of their man--shows respect and caring. I cook most of our dinners from scratch, I give my husband massages every night, I help him carry in the grocery if he buys some. Doing things for your SO is one of the things that keeps the relationship strong. I think a lot of reasons why marriages or relationships fail is because people stop doing all those little things for each other that shows caring. You get it K. I don't ask my man to do special kind things for me. He just wants to because he loves and apppreciates me.
donnamaybe Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 And after finding this, I don't even think you're a woman. I think you're a guy with an alias practicing viral thought. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t290261/ Well, there you have it folks. Use, use, use.
Els Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Well, there you have it folks. Use, use, use. Oh, I just peeked at that thread. Troll for sure. Probably musemaj or one of those other gender-war starters with a separate handle so he can come in and say, "Ha! I told you all women are just money-grubbing users!"
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Say what you want. I am going through heartache in my life momentarily. I can say when I was and when I am in a bliss filled relationship you all "claim," to be involved in currently, cough, the last place I would be spending my time on, would be a, "dating," relationship board! Says alot about your foot crusted relationships. Sorry I do let men court and yes spoil me with simple gestures of paying for a meal, holding a door open for me, however, would politely refuse his gestures of doing gestures that show him that I am meek and weak individual and cannot handle starting my own car in cold weather or lift a heavy object. Who is the entitled one again? I am sorry that your man never paid for a date with you, bought you a gift, and you are stuck kissing his ass, scrubbing his stinky feet, and placing socks on a grown man's feet.:laugh: Out of the men I have dated, only two did not get their own manicure/pedicures done professionally. I am sure you think it is my place as a woman to scrub and scrape their feet, thank goodness the men I date have the decency to get it done professionally rather than allow a woman who has worked all day perform the task. I am sure DonnaBaby powders and scratches his balls too. So much for woman's lib!
anne1707 Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Surely a woman who expects men to be gentlemen should act like a lady
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 You get it K. I don't ask my man to do special kind things for me. He just wants to because he loves and apppreciates me. Your whistles and bells again make zero sense. I have never asked a man to pay for my meal, hold a door open for me, or buy gorgeous gifts, they did so because they wished too.
donnamaybe Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Surely a woman who expects men to be gentlemen should act like a lady No kidding, eh? She talks like a truck driver, and her verbal skills are reduced to insults. And she doesn't get that a point cannot possibly be "mute." LMAO Kids.
make me believe Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 My husband is a TOTAL gentleman and it's one of the things I love most about him. He always opens my car door, opens doors to buildings, holds my hand, carries things for me, pulls out my chair, etc. His dad does the same thing for his mom. I think it's so sweet.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 No kidding, eh? She talks like a truck driver, and her verbal skills are reduced to insults. And she doesn't get that a point cannot possibly be "mute." LMAO Kids. Next!!! Honestly, it is an open forum, but I am asking that you stop replying to my posts. I have been open and honest in my advice, and have debated issues that I feel passionately about. I think of your mannerisms, I think ghetto. Yeah, I can get a little sassy, and do stand up for myself, although you are borderlining on stalkerish and creepy. Please refrain your gold grill, most likely paid for by your old man and quit responding to my posts, for the simple fact, you do not like the fact that men choose to treat me to dinner. No one is forcing them, it is their choice.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Next!!! Honestly, it is an open forum, but I am asking that you stop replying to my posts. I have been open and honest in my advice, and have debated issues that I feel passionately about. I think of your mannerisms, I think ghetto. Yeah, I can get a little sassy, and do stand up for myself, although you are borderlining on stalkerish and creepy. Please refrain your gold grill, most likely paid for by your old man and quit responding to my posts, for the simple fact, you do not like the fact that men choose to treat me to dinner. No one is forcing them, it is their choice. Ha ha! Mute or Moot, still hung up on that, yeah, shows how happy you trully are in life! I am sorry you had to settle for old and crusty, Mr. Bunion Toes. I will think of you scrubbing the dead cells off his thickened soles, while I enjoy a vibrant Cab with a gorgeous gentleman, and will give a toast to you and your happiness in life.
donnamaybe Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 HAHAHAHAHAAAA! Don( pop a blood vessel user.
wezol Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I always try and be a southern gentleman, but it's just the way I was raised, but I'm no doormat. It all just depends on the situation to be honest. I always hold doors open, and if there is an old couple coming to the door, I'll usually get up from whatever I'm doing and open the door for them. When i say old, I don't mean 50's 60's, I'm talking about people that are walking with a limp or a cane, or walker. Same goes for people on crutches and wheelchairs. Where I live though, I'm usually not the only person standing up to do so, and have seen many women do the same. Now, when my ex wife and I first started dating, she beat me to the door and just stood there waiting....threw me for a loop and was a huge turn off, but I opened the door for her and we went in. It was brought up later in life, and she said that she wasn't waiting because of that, she was just waiting for ME so we could go in together. One thing I loved about her, she always waited for me as did I her. As for the opening car doors, I did that sometimes. If we were going on a classy date, I would do it for her at the house, to kind of set the mood for the evening. Anothr circumstance where I would always do it, was if we went to the metroplex, and were in a bad part of town. I just felt safer walking her to that side of the car, and being there until her door closed. Chairs, I would do it sometimes. Just depended on the situation. Like another poster mentioned, being a gentleman doesn't just mean to you SO, it's something you apply to all apsects of life. Unfortunately, there are women who have made mistake of thinking kindness equals weakness.
Curious-One Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 If you are a gentlemen you are a nice guy. Women dont want a nice guy...they say they do but when one comes around they say i m not really attracted to him. I have been both and i get much much better results when i act like an *******.
MrNate Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 HAHAHAHAHAAAA! Don( pop a blood vessel user. I wonder how old she is? I don't meet many female posters as irate as her.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 If you are a gentlemen you are a nice guy. Women dont want a nice guy...they say they do but when one comes around they say i m not really attracted to him. I have been both and i get much much better results when i act like an *******. This is sad. I have never unstood this notion. As long as women allow men to treat them like dirt, they will continue doing so. It is disheartening when gentleman are an exception to the rule. Some women live for drama, are not happy unless they are fighting and causing problems within their relationship. I believe this stems from low self esteem and and other disorders. Do you actually act like an ass to get a date? How does this work?
ptp Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I think whoever whinds up with you is lucky!! You seem like a very sweet genuine guy! I am sorry for offending you and hurting your feelings!! wasn't intentional or on purpose! I apologize for offending you with my comments. I'm just telling it like I see it. You sound like a good guy. I'm sure no one would complain that you are not a gentleman. Yea...so I was "under the influence" when I wrote that....and looking back at the post, its kind of embarrassing and I wish i didn't write it. Neither of you made me feel bad, it is a forum we are just talking right:). I realize that both of you have had not so nice experiences with guys in Chicago..I get that. As someone who considers himself "Midwestern", I just wanted to maybe give you my perspective on what makes me a "Gentleman". So no worries:laugh:
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Yea...so I was "under the influence" when I wrote that....and looking back at the post, its kind of embarrassing and I wish i didn't write it. Neither of you made me feel bad, it is a forum we are just talking right:). I realize that both of you have had not so nice experiences with guys in Chicago..I get that. As someone who considers himself "Midwestern", I just wanted to maybe give you my perspective on what makes me a "Gentleman". So no worries:laugh: No worries!!! You do seem really nice!!
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