The End of the Era of the Gentleman

[donnamaybe]

One should be a gentleman to all. That includes other men, old people, friends, and dates. Being a gentleman only to your female date is not what a true gentleman does.

 

This is all about that other thread where only the penis people are supposed to open their wallets.

[LoveandSuch]

Finally a woman understands. I believe in a man giving back what a woman gives him. Nobody is entitled to be catered to simply because of their gender.

 

 

I would not get too excited in the britches, Tasha says whatever the LS men want to hear, and yes, Tasha does not feel entitled to be catered to and this is why she has started multiple threads of a certain man treating her like **** and the reasons why she puts up with it and defends the disrespectful lech.

[ptp]

Ok I wasn't attacking you or your friends!! You asked if that's how we see it and it is! That dosn't mean you and your friends arent gentlemen I think you doing stuff for your GF that is simple and thoughful so she dosn't get cold or hurt is gentlmenly!! And never once did I say anything about being inferior, because actually most people think people from the south are less intelligent based on accent!! I can go back and re-read all the posts I wrote and I never once said anything about you or your friends doing anything wrong!! Me saying that EVERY chicago guy is a jerk is generalization and would be unfair because I have never met you personally! From what I can tell you seem like a nice guy, not everyone was brought up being a jerk,and never once did I call you one!!! I think that there are plenty of pros and cons of different men, north vs south. For all I know you sound like the guy who would hold the door if I am carrying huge boxes!! So I am REALLY sorry if I offended you because that wasn't my intention.

 

Look when you read LS you get to like/respect some posters, for me some of them are carhill, zengirl and ruby.

 

So when I am conversing with Love&Such and I am talking about how I take care of a girl and I see you and Ruby go back and forth regarding how bad Midwestern guys are I do notice it.

 

Now you are right you didn't insult me directly. However, when you and ruby make blanket statements how guys in Chicago suck and how guys from the South are much better you are indirectly saying someone like me or one of my friends isn't as a good as a guy from the South. I don't agree.

 

You are entitled to your opinion but, I am entitled to defend my position as well. I grew up in a female dominated house and frankly I know how to treat women and it and it isn't about paying for meals, pulling chairs or opening doors.

 

Being a gentleman means respecting the girl your with, listening to her problems, being there when she has a fight with her childhood friend and is bawling her eyes out.

 

Being a gentleman means asking for a second helping of her God awful spinachlasagna because I know she put a lot oftime into it.

 

Being a gentleman means when she is in a horrible car accident saying you don't notice the scars between her breasts and kissing those scars to make her feel more comfortable being naked in front of you.

 

So yes I don't pull chairs and I don't always open doors. No I am not a "Southern gentleman" but, I am okay with not fitting Love&Such's definitions. I know who I am, how I was brought up and I know when a girl is with me she feels loved and cared for.

 

 

I am lttle drunk so this post might not make much sense.

[LoveandSuch]

So if a guy pays your way all the time that must mean he thinks you are incapable of earning a living wage on your own. Unless the above thought process conveniently flips when the issue of money comes up...

 

I have never asked for a man to pay for anything, it just happens to be the way they are. I never asked a man to pay for dinner or to buy gifts. It was all on their own accord. You have no argument here, sorry.

[xoxoDaniellexoxo]

Look when you read LS you get to like/respect some posters, for me some of them are carhill, zengirl and ruby.

 

So when I am conversing with Love&Such and I am talking about how I take care of a girl and I see you and Ruby go back and forth regarding how bad Midwestern guys are I do notice it.

 

Now you are right you didn't insult me directly. However, when you and ruby make blanket statements how guys in Chicago suck and how guys from the South are much better you are indirectly saying someone like me or one of my friends isn't as a good as a guy from the South. I don't agree.

 

You are entitled to your opinion but, I am entitled to defend my position as well. I grew up in a female dominated house and frankly I know how to treat women and it and it isn't about paying for meals, pulling chairs or opening doors.

 

Being a gentleman means respecting the girl your with, listening to her problems, being there when she has a fight with her childhood friend and is bawling her eyes out.

 

Being a gentleman means asking for a second helping of her God awful spinachlasagna because I know she put a lot oftime into it.

 

Being a gentleman means when she is in a horrible car accident saying you don't notice the scars between her breasts and kissing those scars to make her feel more comfortable being naked in front of you.

 

So yes I don't pull chairs and I don't always open doors. No I am not a "Southern gentleman" but, I am okay with not fitting Love&Such's definitions. I know who I am, how I was brought up and I know when a girl is with me she feels loved and cared for.

 

 

I am lttle drunk so this post might not make much sense.

 

I think whoever whinds up with you is lucky!! You seem like a very sweet genuine guy! I am sorry for offending you and hurting your feelings!! wasn't intentional or on purpose!

[donnamaybe]

It isn't about being weak or strong, though sometimes her lack of height makes me handy reaching for some of those cabinets:p.

 

She is perfectly capable of filling her own gas tank, and shoveling snow etc..

 

I said I do those things for her because I don't want her to feel pain. I would rather get out in middle of a Chicago winter to fill a tank of gas than have her do it. I would rather shovel her driveway and carry her bags not because it is "gentlemanly" thing to do but rather because I don't want her to feel pain.

 

IMO she feels no pain opening her own doors or pulling out her own chair.

 

Yes! Here is a guy who gets it!

 

What a useless, empty gesture pulling out a chair. Now my guy knows chivalry! He starts my car for me on cold mornings. If we have both our cars somewhere and snow fell while we were inside he cleans my car off for me before he does his own.

 

Pull out a chair? Big deal.

[donnamaybe]

I have never asked for a man to pay for anything, it just happens to be the way they are. I never asked a man to pay for dinner or to buy gifts. It was all on their own accord. You have no argument here, sorry.

 

I believe I recall some pretty heavy arguing about "the man should pay" in that other thread which is why I suspect this thread was started.

[Tasha49]

This is merely situational in context. Like Danielle said, if a man treats a woman with respect, he will most likely get the same reward in return. If a woman is a nasty being, she is nasty regardless of the situation.

 

Sure... some women do appreciate it and give back in the same way. It's just that I have seen a lot of women who are ****ty to their men but still have men falling all over them for some reason.

 

My friend who I go out with on Saturdays is a good friend... but like my mom she just treats her men like garbage. Her last bf did anything and everything in order to make her happy. If he didn't... she would call him names and threaten to leave him. She even woke him up at his place and made him go out at 1am to get her a candy bar. He said he was tired and had work in the morning but she told him if he didn't she would hold sex from him for a month. He was such a nice guy. Then over time he started treating her like crap back and then when she broke it off she labeled HIM as being an ******* and said he never cared.

 

I am not saying most women are like this. But women are usually more moody and more prone to be a bitch than the man to be an *******. I am not trying to get my ass kicked for saying this but just from what I observe I see a lot of women who should appreciate the gentlemen type way more than they do.

 

Men can be screwy little a**holes to women who treat them good. I am not dismissing this. I am just saying that from what I see women could stand to be a little more giving.

 

Or maybe the state of Washington has ****ty women lol.

[LoveandSuch]

Look when you read LS you get to like/respect some posters, for me some of them are carhill, zengirl and ruby.

 

So when I am conversing with Love&Such and I am talking about how I take care of a girl and I see you and Ruby go back and forth regarding how bad Midwestern guys are I do notice it.

 

Now you are right you didn't insult me directly. However, when you and ruby make blanket statements how guys in Chicago suck and how guys from the South are much better you are indirectly saying someone like me or one of my friends isn't as a good as a guy from the South. I don't agree.

 

You are entitled to your opinion but, I am entitled to defend my position as well. I grew up in a female dominated house and frankly I know how to treat women and it and it isn't about paying for meals, pulling chairs or opening doors.

 

Being a gentleman means respecting the girl your with, listening to her problems, being there when she has a fight with her childhood friend and is bawling her eyes out.

 

Being a gentleman means asking for a second helping of her God awful spinachlasagna because I know she put a lot oftime into it.

 

Being a gentleman means when she is in a horrible car accident saying you don't notice the scars between her breasts and kissing those scars to make her feel more comfortable being naked in front of you.

 

So yes I don't pull chairs and I don't always open doors. No I am not a "Southern gentleman" but, I am okay with not fitting Love&Such's definitions. I know who I am, how I was brought up and I know when a girl is with me she feels loved and cared for.

 

 

I am lttle drunk so this post might not make much sense.

 

You are very sensitive. A sensitive man is rare. I think your GF and family are lucky to have such a sensitive and caring man helping them out. A Southern Gent is raised from birth to carry themselves a certain way with women. I would not take it so personally that Nothern men are completely different. They just are. Does not mean, however, there are no disrespectful men in the south.

[Woggle]

Sure... some women do appreciate it and give back in the same way. It's just that I have seen a lot of women who are ****ty to their men but still have men falling all over them for some reason.

 

My friend who I go out with on Saturdays is a good friend... but like my mom she just treats her men like garbage. Her last bf did anything and everything in order to make her happy. If he didn't... she would call him names and threaten to leave him. She even woke him up at his place and made him go out at 1am to get her a candy bar. He said he was tired and had work in the morning but she told him if he didn't she would hold sex from him for a month. He was such a nice guy. Then over time he started treating her like crap back and then when she broke it off she labeled HIM as being an ******* and said he never cared.

 

I am not saying most women are like this. But women are usually more moody and more prone to be a bitch than the man to be an *******. I am not trying to get my ass kicked for saying this but just from what I observe I see a lot of women who should appreciate the gentlemen type way more than they do.

 

Men can be screwy little a**holes to women who treat them good. I am not dismissing this. I am just saying that from what I see women could stand to be a little more giving.

 

Or maybe the state of Washington has ****ty women lol.

 

Yup. Until I see more women changing this kind of thing I don't want to hear a thing about how men should act. I'll be damned if I get up at 1 am to get a woman a candy bar. If she denies me sex I will tell her to go right ahead because I can get it elsewhere.

 

If a woman is good to me though I will go to the ends of the earth for her.

[LoveandSuch]

Sure... some women do appreciate it and give back in the same way. It's just that I have seen a lot of women who are ****ty to their men but still have men falling all over them for some reason.

 

My friend who I go out with on Saturdays is a good friend... but like my mom she just treats her men like garbage. Her last bf did anything and everything in order to make her happy. If he didn't... she would call him names and threaten to leave him. She even woke him up at his place and made him go out at 1am to get her a candy bar. He said he was tired and had work in the morning but she told him if he didn't she would hold sex from him for a month. He was such a nice guy. Then over time he started treating her like crap back and then when she broke it off she labeled HIM as being an ******* and said he never cared.

 

I am not saying most women are like this. But women are usually more moody and more prone to be a bitch than the man to be an *******. I am not trying to get my ass kicked for saying this but just from what I observe I see a lot of women who should appreciate the gentlemen type way more than they do.

 

Men can be screwy little a**holes to women who treat them good. I am not dismissing this. I am just saying that from what I see women could stand to be a little more giving.

 

Or maybe the state of Washington has ****ty women lol.

 

Well, I shield myself from bitchy women. I have never been in a man's shoes, regarding a relationship with one. But, their stripes are bold, and not easily faked, so why is the man hanging around and enduring this abuse?

[Woggle]

Well, I shield myself from bitchy women. I have never been in a man's shoes, regarding a relationship with one. But, their stripes are bold, and not easily faked, so why is the man hanging around and enduring this abuse?

 

This I have to agree with. What exactly does a man get out of being with a woman like this? What positive is it adding to his life?

[LoveandSuch]

I believe I recall some pretty heavy arguing about "the man should pay" in that other thread which is why I suspect this thread was started.

 

Anyways, I do believe a man should pay for dinner while on a date and have never been in a situation where the man looks at me and says, so where's the credit card baby, you are buying me dinner tonight. Or come on fork up your half. A man asks you out on a date, yes, he should pay. I do not ask men out on dates, never been there, nor done that, so who knows in that situation.

[Tasha49]

Well, I shield myself from bitchy women. I have never been in a man's shoes, regarding a relationship with one. But, their stripes are bold, and not easily faked, so why is the man hanging around and enduring this abuse?

 

I wonder that many times. If a man will sit there and allow a girl to be that ****ty... then he has some issues. He needs to take his gentlemen ways to a girl who would appreciate it.

[Woggle]

I wonder that many times. If a man will sit there and allow a girl to be that ****ty... then he has some issues. He needs to take his gentlemen ways to a girl who would appreciate it.

 

The sad thing is that after that treatment some of these men then go and try to take it out on innocent women when they should have had the balls to not put up with that crap in the first place. The first time their ex pulled that crap it should have been over.

[LoveandSuch]

Yes! Here is a guy who gets it!

 

What a useless, empty gesture pulling out a chair. Now my guy knows chivalry! He starts my car for me on cold mornings. If we have both our cars somewhere and snow fell while we were inside he cleans my car off for me before he does his own.

 

Pull out a chair? Big deal.

 

Whatever Donna, your arguments make no sense, sorry you have never been treated like a lady in regards to wining and dining. You are contradicting yourself, however, you seem to think you are entiltled to your man being your bitch, and oh, I assume, from the posts on this board, that men are somehow shielded from the effects of frigid temperatures compared to that of women, and just owe it to you, to freeze their asses off, warming up your car for you. Too funny.

I am in warmer climates, so if my man sees I am hot, and fans me off all day with a giant palm leaf, I am sure Miss Donna, would be the first to jump to his defense. Your points are mute.

[donnamaybe]

A couple of threads lately have me envisioning a gal with her hand perpetually out with nothing in return for the guy except for not being a bitch. Is that really all a good guy deserves? Lack of bitching? So a gal who never cooks thinks the guy should always pay for dinner. Pretty convenient - again, only for the female.

[Woggle]

A couple of threads lately have me envisioning a gal with her hand perpetually out with nothing in return for the guy except for not being a bitch. Is that really all a good guy deserves? Lack of bitching? So a gal who never cooks thinks the guy should always pay for dinner. Pretty convenient - again, only for the female.

 

This is one of many example why your man is very lucky.

[Ruby Slippers]

Look when you read LS you get to like/respect some posters, for me some of them are carhill, zengirl and ruby.

 

So when I am conversing with Love&Such and I am talking about how I take care of a girl and I see you and Ruby go back and forth regarding how bad Midwestern guys are I do notice it.

 

Now you are right you didn't insult me directly. However, when you and ruby make blanket statements how guys in Chicago suck and how guys from the South are much better you are indirectly saying someone like me or one of my friends isn't as a good as a guy from the South. I don't agree.

 

You are entitled to your opinion but, I am entitled to defend my position as well. I grew up in a female dominated house and frankly I know how to treat women and it and it isn't about paying for meals, pulling chairs or opening doors.

 

Being a gentleman means respecting the girl your with, listening to her problems, being there when she has a fight with her childhood friend and is bawling her eyes out.

 

Being a gentleman means asking for a second helping of her God awful spinachlasagna because I know she put a lot oftime into it.

 

Being a gentleman means when she is in a horrible car accident saying you don't notice the scars between her breasts and kissing those scars to make her feel more comfortable being naked in front of you.

 

So yes I don't pull chairs and I don't always open doors. No I am not a "Southern gentleman" but, I am okay with not fitting Love&Such's definitions. I know who I am, how I was brought up and I know when a girl is with me she feels loved and cared for.

 

 

I am lttle drunk so this post might not make much sense.

I apologize for offending you with my comments. I'm just telling it like I see it.

 

You sound like a good guy. I'm sure no one would complain that you are not a gentleman.

[donnamaybe]

Whatever Donna, your arguments make no sense, sorry you have never been treated like a lady in regards to wining and dining. You are contradicting yourself, however, you seem to think you are entiltled to your man being your bitch, and oh, I assume, from the posts on this board, that men are somehow shielded from the effects of frigid temperatures compared to that of women, and just owe it to you, to freeze their asses off, warming up your car for you. Too funny.

I am in warmer climates, so if my man sees I am hot, and fans me off all day with a giant palm leaf, I am sure Miss Donna, would be the first to jump to his defense. Your points are mute.

 

And, just as in that other thread, the personal attacks come along. But wait. You haven't yet accused me of weighing 300# and having chin hairs! LMAO

 

Maybe I jumped the gun by making that comment about "lack of bitching."

 

The things my man does for me are his idea, borne of the goodness of his heart and his love for me rather than some manipulative, empty gesture. I'm sorry no man has cared enough to do those types of things for you.

[Tasha49]

The sad thing is that after that treatment some of these men then go and try to take it out on innocent women when they should have had the balls to not put up with that crap in the first place. The first time their ex pulled that crap it should have been over.

 

Speaking of balls... she also hit him in the nuts a lot because she thought it was funny. Not to be abusive but just because she found it funny. But I am sure it was not funny at all to him.

 

Wtf?! I never understood him even being with her for as long as he did. Nor do I get how he could've possibly loved her. She is a great friend but terrible girlfriend.

[MrNate]

I sense some hostility here.

[donnamaybe]

BTW, the word is "moot," not "mute."

[donnamaybe]

This is one of many example why your man is very lucky.

 

And I am lucky too. The thing is, I realize it. Some women would probably just think his kindness is their due for merely possessing boobs and a vagina.

[LoveandSuch]

A couple of threads lately have me envisioning a gal with her hand perpetually out with nothing in return for the guy except for not being a bitch. Is that really all a good guy deserves? Lack of bitching? So a gal who never cooks thinks the guy should always pay for dinner. Pretty convenient - again, only for the female.

 

Again your assumptions and points are mute. I have never had my hand out. I cannot change the fact that the men I have had the joy in knowing and sharing company with, enjoy catering to a good women, and have not asked me to suck up half of dinner or required me to cook for them. Like i said in a previous post, it is more times than not, that the man wants to cook a fabulous meal and show off his kitchen skills. If the men who ask you out, ask that you pay half or accept you paying half or for the whole meal, good for you, enjoy it.