Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Who said anything about going out with one? You can always meet one, whether you like it or not. Not everyone will always be nice and sweet to you, y'know. True, but who would be nice to someone who is obnoxious unprovoked.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I love it in Chicago people slam the door in your face!! Yes. In general, people are low on charm and courtesy here. They're not rude, but they're not going to go out of their way to be friendly. They will usually play along if you initiate the friendliness and keep egging them on, but man, sometimes it's like pulling teeth. When I visit friends and family in the South, the men there are so much sweeter and more gentlemanly. And tons of cute ones are hitting on me! Sometimes I think I should move back and see how my dating life improves. The only exception I see in the big city is among blue-collar men. Anytime I get on a crowded train and a blue-collar gent is near, he offers me his seat. This is especially considerate, because they usually look a lot more tired than me, with my pampered, brainy job. It's always very touching, and I express copious appreciation to them. I very rarely see Midwestern yuppie men offer their seat or anything of the sort. Some hobbling, struggling old man or woman can get on a crowded train, and they'll keep their privileged butt stuck in that seat for dear life. They might hold the door for you, if it's convenient, but don't count on it.
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Why is she perfectly capable of opening doors, and pulling outs chairs, but not capable of filling her own gas tank, shoveling snow, or carrying heavy objects. I am heavy into fitness, and like to do those extra things in order to keep in shape. Opening doors and pulling out chairs is not done because the man feels you are weak, meek, and unable to handle the chore, he does this out of respect, decency, and politeness. No one is right or wrong, it is up to each individual to decide what their own standards and expectations are. It isn't about being weak or strong, though sometimes her lack of height makes me handy reaching for some of those cabinets:p. She is perfectly capable of filling her own gas tank, and shoveling snow etc.. I said I do those things for her because I don't want her to feel pain. I would rather get out in middle of a Chicago winter to fill a tank of gas than have her do it. I would rather shovel her driveway and carry her bags not because it is "gentlemanly" thing to do but rather because I don't want her to feel pain. IMO she feels no pain opening her own doors or pulling out her own chair.
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Yes. In general, people are low on charm and courtesy here. They're not rude, but they're not going to go out of their way to be friendly. They will usually play along if you initiate the friendliness and keep egging them on, but man, sometimes it's like pulling teeth. When I visit friends and family in the South, the men there are so much sweeter and more gentlemanly. And tons of cute ones are hitting on me! Sometimes I think I should move back and see how my dating life improves. The only exception I see in the big city is among blue-collar men. Anytime I get on a crowded train and a blue-collar gent is near, he offers me his seat. This is especially considerate, because they usually look a lot more tired than me, with my pampered, brainy job. It's always very touching, and I express copious appreciation to them. I very rarely see Midwestern yuppie men offer their seat or anything of the sort. Some hobbling, struggling old man or woman can get on a crowded train, and they'll keep their privileged butt stuck in that seat for dear life. They might hold the door for you, if it's convenient, but don't count on it. Oh Ruby....I used to like you so much but, some of these criticisms of Midwestern men....are like stabbing me in the back..
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 It isn't about being weak or strong, though sometimes her lack of height makes me handy reaching for some of those cabinets:p. She is perfectly capable of filling her own gas tank, and shoveling snow etc.. I said I do those things for her because I don't want her to feel pain. I would rather get out in middle of a Chicago winter to fill a tank of gas than have her do it. I would rather shovel her driveway and carry her bags not because it is "gentlemanly" thing to do but rather because I don't want her to feel pain. IMO she feels no pain opening her own doors or pulling out her own chair. Well, I keep in top shape and my endurance enables to handle such tasks without pain. The only pain, would be good pain, strength. Like I said, opening doors and pulling seats is not done in some sort of Asperger thinking state of practicality, but is done out of politeness and another poster mentioned it, just good manners.
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Well, I keep in top shape and my endurance enables to handle such tasks without pain. The only pain, would be good pain, strength. Like I said, opening doors and pulling seats is not done in some sort of Asperger thinking state of practicality, but is done out of politeness and another poster mentioned it, just good manners. Okay well, most girls I have been with despise the cold so....I do things for them. I gave you my reasons for what I do and have done for my GFs. I already said I don't fit your definition of gentleman and I am okay with that. I wonder if you always have a hot meal waiting for your BF when he gets home and I wonder if you cook and clean dishes and bring him beers while he watches football. You know lady stuff.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Oh Ruby....I used to like you so much but, some of these criticisms of Midwestern men....are like stabbing me in the back.. Oh hun, i grew up half an hour outside Chicago and she is right!!! Haha I ran onto a train and I dropped my bag and my heel of my shoe broke and people looked at me like I was a leper!! In the South I had a car problem (which I knew how to fix thanks to my dad) and I swear 10 guys ranging from 18-52 were offering to help!! They were sweet and not at all creepy, in Chicago you have to keep the conversation going!
Woggle Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I have to wonder how Chicago women are. Do they make a man want to be a gentleman?
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Oh hun, i grew up half an hour outside Chicago and she is right!!! Haha I ran onto a train and I dropped my bag and my heel of my shoe broke and people looked at me like I was a leper!! In the South I had a car problem (which I knew how to fix thanks to my dad) and I swear 10 guys ranging from 18-52 were offering to help!! They were sweet and not at all creepy, in Chicago you have to keep the conversation going! I am not really sure how to respond to that. Okay well...I guess I am not good enough for you. if men in the south are better you should consider moving there. Edited August 13, 2011 by ptp
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Okay well, most girls I have been with despise the cold so....I do things for them. I gave you my reasons for what I do and have done for my GFs. I already said I don't fit your definition of gentleman and I am okay with that. I wonder if you always have a hot meal waiting for your BF when he gets home and I wonder if you cook and clean dishes and bring him beers while he watches football. You know lady stuff. I have yet to date too many men that watch football and drink beer. I have been sweet to the few who did, and yes have brought them a beer or two on my own accord, and have no problem, popping a cork, to enjoy some down time together. I do not cook on a regular basis, and when I do it is a special treat and done for the perfect gentleman.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I have to wonder how Chicago women are. Do they make a man want to be a gentleman? I'd say yes! But I can't talk for all women in ChiTown. I have to say if I had a guy fill up my car in the winter I would propose because my car is 16yrs old and the gas cap loves to stick!! I don't mind the cold because it is all I ever grew up with but I can say sometimes the people can be very cold. I always wanted someone who was considerate, you don't have to hold the door everytime I am around or stand up when I come to the table(though I wouldn't object) but I really appriciate the small things. I am TERRIFIED of bees, snakes I am fine but bees I am allergic too and they are scary. I had a bee in my dorm one day and the nicest thing someone ever did was go in there and kill the bee for me. Seems dumb I know but he was my hero and I paid him back by buying him his regular coffee for a week(since we were in a class together). Small things make me happy, like if someone remembers that I drink Diet Pepsi and it is my favorite drink. I'm a dork I know
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I have yet to date too many men that watch football and drink beer. I have been sweet to the few who did, and yes have brought them a beer or two on my own accord, and have no problem, popping a cork, to enjoy some down time together. I do not cook on a regular basis, and when I do it is a special treat and done for the perfect gentleman. Ah so you don't always cook for him don't clean for him yet you expect him to always be a gentleman and treat you like a lady.... gotcha. seems like a fair exchange.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 @LoveandSuch I do not cook on a regular basis, and when I do it is a special treat and done for the perfect gentleman. Why don't you cook?!?!?!?! Not saying it is a bad thing you don't btw I know my aunts don't cook except on x-mas, so sorry if it sounds like I think less of you I dont .I know I am a minority but I hate fast food and I can't do take out more than once a week, thankfully every dorm on my campus has a kitchen and then there are "apartment" style dorms that have a kitchen! I LOVE cooking!! Haha I cook because I get bored (I don't eat everything or I would probably be 500lbs) but I have been known to bake cookies or cupcakes for someone who lent me notes or helped me study as a thank you!
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Ah so you don't always cook for him don't clean for him yet you expect him to always be a gentleman and treat you like a lady.... gotcha. I will treat him with respect and dignity and that seems to be what most men I like are looking for, Most men I know have housekeepers if they want their toilet bowels scrubbed. Why should I have to scrub a man's toliet in order for him to be a gentleman. He isn't scrubbing my toilets. I have actually had more men, very excited to do the cooking. Want to show off. I have found men to actually be great cooks, and pretty good at it, without making huge messes, and some pretty fancy meals to boot. seems like a fair exchange. I will treat him with respect and dignity and that seems to be what most men I like are looking for, Most men I know have housekeepers if they want their toilet bowels scrubbed. Why should I have to scrub a man's toliet in order for him to be a gentleman. He isn't scrubbing my toilets. I have actually had more men, very excited to do the cooking. Want to show off. I have found men to actually be great cooks, and pretty good at it, without making huge messes, and some pretty fancy meals to boot.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Oh Ruby....I used to like you so much but, some of these criticisms of Midwestern men....are like stabbing me in the back.. But am I wrong? Oh hun, i grew up half an hour outside Chicago and she is right!!! Haha I ran onto a train and I dropped my bag and my heel of my shoe broke and people looked at me like I was a leper!! In the South I had a car problem (which I knew how to fix thanks to my dad) and I swear 10 guys ranging from 18-52 were offering to help!! They were sweet and not at all creepy, in Chicago you have to keep the conversation going! Yep. Something goes wrong, and in my experience, Southern men (and women) will swoop in to help right away. People in Chicago, in my experience, usually just look at you like you're a nuisance. But, like I said, blue-collar guys here are usually much friendlier. Ethnic minorities (black and Latino, especially) are also quicker to help and be friendly. if men in the south are better you should consider moving there. Like I said, I do think about it sometimes. I just love this city a LOT, and I do not like the conservatism, racism, and ignorance in many parts of the South.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 @LoveandSuch I do not cook on a regular basis, and when I do it is a special treat and done for the perfect gentleman. Why don't you cook?!?!?!?! Not saying it is a bad thing you don't btw I know my aunts don't cook except on x-mas, so sorry if it sounds like I think less of you I dont .I know I am a minority but I hate fast food and I can't do take out more than once a week, thankfully every dorm on my campus has a kitchen and then there are "apartment" style dorms that have a kitchen! I LOVE cooking!! Haha I cook because I get bored (I don't eat everything or I would probably be 500lbs) but I have been known to bake cookies or cupcakes for someone who lent me notes or helped me study as a thank you! I do not have time to cook made from scratch meals. I work long hours. I do eat healthy, throw an interesting salad together. I do not mind cooking for a man, but it would be special, to take all the time it would take to make him something fabulous. Actually (I know the men on LS are going to go into a tizzy..lol) I would rather take my free time and spend it doing something else, and cheat and hire a caterer to pre/prepare a meal for me, and I can cook and heat it up later, when the man comes over.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 And I wonder what she will do when he puts his foot down and tells her no for the first time. Say no to what?
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 But am I wrong? Yep. Something goes wrong, and in my experience, Southern men (and women) will swoop in to help right away. People in Chicago, in my experience, usually just look at you like you're a nuisance. But, like I said, blue-collar guys here are usually much friendlier. Ethnic minorities (black and Latino, especially) are also quicker to help and be friendly. Like I said, I do think about it sometimes. I just love this city a LOT, and I do not like the conservatism, racism, and ignorance in many parts of the South. IMO you are absolutely wrong, you have your opinion and that is fine I am just not going to agree with it. Both you and xoxoDaniellexoxo are attacking me, my friends (who I think very highly of) and how I was brought up. Of course I am going to disagree; I am not inferior to men from the south. I have lived in Ohio, Illinois and NY and I haven't seen much of a difference in how men act and treat women. In this thread I have honestly posted about how I have treated my GFs. Apparently I am not a "gentleman". Maybe I have an over inflated sense of self worth but, I just don't agree. But I understand that people are different so I guess thats 2 people I am not good enough for now.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I have lived in Ohio, Illinois and NY and I haven't seen much of a difference in how men act and treat women. Midwestern and Northeastern men, in my experience and opinion, are some of the least likely to behave in an old-fashioned gentlemanly way, probably because these are generally more progressive portions of the country and most women and men behave in less traditional ways. Believe me, I enjoy that for the social progress and professional reasons, and it's one of the reasons I am able to run a startup business here successfully. I do give Chicago, Midwestern, and Northeastern men credit for dealing with me as an equal in the professional sphere. Their default, it seems, is to assume that I am intelligent and competent in my field -- whereas I do feel I have to prove myself more with male clients and business partners in the Southern and Western U.S. If given the choice between a socially progressive, open-minded, liberal Chicago guy who isn't as much of a gentleman, and a socially stagnant, narrow-minded, conservative Southern guy who is a gentleman, I'll pick the Chicago guy any day. Another thing I will say for Chicago men -- this city is crawling with very good-looking guys in great shape. I do like that about the urban landscape.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 IMO you are absolutely wrong, you have your opinion and that is fine I am just not going to agree with it. Both you and xoxoDaniellexoxo are attacking me, my friends (who I think very highly of) and how I was brought up. Of course I am going to disagree; I am not inferior to men from the south. I have lived in Ohio, Illinois and NY and I haven't seen much of a difference in how men act and treat women. In this thread I have honestly posted about how I have treated my GFs. Apparently I am not a "gentleman". Maybe I have an over inflated sense of self worth but, I just don't agree. But I understand that people are different so I guess thats 2 people I am not good enough for now. You seem to treat your GF with respect, I do not think you are doing anything wrong. I believe it was you mentioning that my enjoying being treated to open doors, and a seat pulled out, that it seemed absurd and my liking this is wrong in some way.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 IMO you are absolutely wrong, you have your opinion and that is fine I am just not going to agree with it. Both you and xoxoDaniellexoxo are attacking me, my friends (who I think very highly of) and how I was brought up. Of course I am going to disagree; I am not inferior to men from the south. Ok I wasn't attacking you or your friends!! You asked if that's how we see it and it is! That dosn't mean you and your friends arent gentlemen I think you doing stuff for your GF that is simple and thoughful so she dosn't get cold or hurt is gentlmenly!! And never once did I say anything about being inferior, because actually most people think people from the south are less intelligent based on accent!! I can go back and re-read all the posts I wrote and I never once said anything about you or your friends doing anything wrong!! Me saying that EVERY chicago guy is a jerk is generalization and would be unfair because I have never met you personally! From what I can tell you seem like a nice guy, not everyone was brought up being a jerk,and never once did I call you one!!! I think that there are plenty of pros and cons of different men, north vs south. For all I know you sound like the guy who would hold the door if I am carrying huge boxes!! So I am REALLY sorry if I offended you because that wasn't my intention.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 You should find a Jersey guy. I just shuddered and got a little sick!! EWWW they spend more time on their hair then I EVER have!! That includes dances!! Not to mention I'm pretty sure they cast of that show is crawling with STDS!! And they can't seem to figure out street signs!!! SCARY!!
Woggle Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I just shuddered and got a little sick!! EWWW they spend more time on their hair then I EVER have!! That includes dances!! Not to mention I'm pretty sure they cast of that show is crawling with STDS!! And they can't seem to figure out street signs!!! SCARY!! Only one of the people on that show is actually from NJ. They do not represent us. Bruce Springsteen, John Travolta and Edward Norton are also from NJ.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Only one of the people on that show is actually from NJ. They do not represent us. Bruce Springsteen, John Travolta and Edward Norton are also from NJ. THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN THEY TOLD ME THAT I ASKED"WHY ARE THEY ON THIS SHOW THEN?!?!?!?!" I did know Norton and Travolta lol I LOVE Edward Norton him in the Illusionist made me cry and swoon and shiver!! He is SOOO good looking AND a good actor!!!
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