xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Men no longer act like gentlemen because women no longer act like ladies. Something to think about... AGREE!! I don't get why acting like a lady now makes girls "Stuck up" or "prude". My mom taught me to cross my legs, say please and thank you and not to walk around with my boobs and butt hanging out. Also I don't get being sloppy drunk and making a fool of yourself(why??). When I started college in the south though I noticed a difference, guys down there called me ma'am or little lady and held the door, or pulled out a chair!! I have to say that made my heart do a little dance!!
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 +1 Gentlemanly behavior speaks to virtue and should therefore be expressed universally. I don't, for example, believe in holding a door open for a woman on the sole basis that she is a woman, but I will gladly do such things based on the fact that she is another living being who is presumably deserving of my respect and courtesy. Yes, we can only wish for that. But it seems like pulling straws out of a lawnmower. Men, today, are enamored of and treating women like the girls of jersey shore, MTV, and so on. Women are too easily allowing themselves to be treated like disposable AAA batteries. When a woman comes along that requires a, "getting to know one another period, some manners, and behavior of a gentleman, she is quickly labeled high maintenance, bitch, and prude.
Woggle Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Why in the hell would I ruin a good suit so a woman does not have to step through a puddle? She can walk around it. I am sure the entire street was not flooded. Also why can't a woman bring a coat. Why is it okay for me to freeze but not her?
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Yes, we can only wish for that. But it seems like pulling straws out of a lawnmower. Men, today, are enamored of and treating women like the girls of jersey shore, MTV, and so on. Women are too easily allowing themselves to be treated like disposable AAA batteries. When a woman comes along that requires a, "getting to know one another period, some manners, and behavior of a gentleman, she is quickly labeled high maintenance, bitch, and prude. FREAKIN hate jersey shore!! I'm sorry but dancing with your butt and boobs out is not ladylike!! Especially when they flash parts where the sun don't shine!! If it makes me a prude that I wait sorry I will accept my title because I refuse to have a "SMUSH room"
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 FREAKIN hate jersey shore!! I'm sorry but dancing with your butt and boobs out is not ladylike!! Especially when they flash parts where the sun don't shine!! If it makes me a prude that I wait sorry I will accept my title because I refuse to have a "SMUSH room" I agree, It's pretty gross out there! I saw girls going into a club with just bras on with pants, type of bras you buy at wal mart, and worse they were push up, the more obnoxious. I was like, really now! At least they were wearing pants.
rafallus Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Gentlemanly attitude IMO is something you have to earn. You think it's necessary to be a gentleman, if a woman herself is acting obnoxious towards you, even unprovoked? I don't.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I agree, It's pretty gross out there! I saw girls going into a club with just bras on with pants, type of bras you buy at wal mart, and worse they were push up, the more obnoxious. I was like, really now! At least they were wearing pants. I just vomitted in my mouth a little!! I don't even like clubs that much cause I get warm easily and I don't want people grabbing me! Seriously what happened to leaving a little to the imagination?!?!?! And I admit part of this is women's faults but I don't see the appeal, I don't even like being in a swimsuit for a long time, if I get up I throw on a tee shirt or shorts, not because I am hiding anything but because I just don't like being half naked in front of random people! Sorry if that is weird but I just don't like it!!
grkBoy Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Couple things to note on this topic: I don't care what any man thinks in terms of being a gentleman, if the woman isn't attracted to him, she'll see his actions as "sweet"/"nice guy" or "creepy". Being a gentleman isn't a guarantee to get a girl.SOME women think the gentlemanly stuff is "weakling" or something negative. I say just move on. They're probably the same women who fall for a guy who can win a belching contest or the guy who neglects/ignores her...but she thinks he's so "strong".Etiquette and chivalry are never dead. Good women will appreciate a door opened, a chair pulled, etc.
Nexus One Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I have fond memories of a man who did just that, threw his nice suit jacket over a puddle for me, so sweet and romantic. Swoon. That's really old school, while I like the idea of it in the sense that it's a classic, I don't see the practical value of it, as you could have just as well without much extra effort walked around the puddle. I think if a guy would do that for current generation girls, they would think he's crazy or trying too hard. However you said you guys were in a funny mood, so in that sense I can see the humor in it. It is also nice when a man offers you his dress coat or jacket when he sees that you are cold. I can see the practical value in that, it's a little less awkward and common sense and decency.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 When I started college in the south though I noticed a difference, guys down there called me ma'am or little lady and held the door, or pulled out a chair!! I have to say that made my heart do a little dance!! Yes, I'm from the South, I've lived in a lot of different places, and culture is definitely a factor. I love the old-fashioned charm of a Southern gent.
phineas Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 There is a large portion of women out there that view gentlemen as chumps. I'm not talking about desperate clingers putting it on a pedestal either. I'm talking about guys like me that don't treat women like crap. These women would date a guy that tells them to pick them up so she can give him a BJ before they go out than date someone who opens doors for them. I have learned to recognize these women & treat them accordingly. I used to just move on but I realized I was passing up opportunities for sex.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Yes, I'm from the South, I've lived in a lot of different places, and culture is definitely a factor. I love the old-fashioned charm of a Southern gent. I love it in Chicago people slam the door in your face!!
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 I love it in Chicago people slam the door in your face!! Nice! Lol.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 FTR, I'm from the South (well all over, and not all of the South is what people think of as "Southern") and technically have a very slight Southern accent when I'm not thinking about it and everything. I have been lifted too. Swoon:) He had many more jackets and we were having so much fun running from the unexpected downpour and already had a such a blast on the date, the coat thing, was done mostly out of good nature and fun. That sounds stupid to me. Anyone who's going to waste a perfectly good jacket so I don't have to walk around a puddle is someone who just seems. . . wasteful, impulsive, and silly. I mean, if you have too many jackets, donate them. There are tons of groups that help people hard on their luck get decent clothes for interviews. But personally, I don't like wastefulness.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Nice! Lol. Literally I was walking in to ask for change for a parking meter and I asked the guy ahead of me to hold the door cause I was balancing presents for a bday party and he slammed the door, My nose was swollen and was bleeding!! I had to go to my cousins party with a bloody nose, she is a little kid jumped on me to hug me and made it bleed again!! I didn't want to be in any pictures because of it!!
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Literally I was walking in to ask for change for a parking meter and I asked the guy ahead of me to hold the door cause I was balancing presents for a bday party and he slammed the door, My nose was swollen and was bleeding!! I had to go to my cousins party with a bloody nose, she is a little kid jumped on me to hug me and made it bleed again!! I didn't want to be in any pictures because of it!! That must of been Zengirl's boyfriend, Just kidding:) Why does he have an obligation to donate jackets, because we had fun one night. The jacket was not used in a bull fight, it was placed on wet cobblestone.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Gentlemanly attitude IMO is something you have to earn. You think it's necessary to be a gentleman, if a woman herself is acting obnoxious towards you, even unprovoked? I don't. Why would you go out with a woman who is obnoxious toward you unprovoked?
Woggle Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 There is a large portion of women out there that view gentlemen as chumps. I'm not talking about desperate clingers putting it on a pedestal either. I'm talking about guys like me that don't treat women like crap. These women would date a guy that tells them to pick them up so she can give him a BJ before they go out than date someone who opens doors for them. I have learned to recognize these women & treat them accordingly. I used to just move on but I realized I was passing up opportunities for sex. Very true. If women want to be treated like ladies then act like one. Act the way you want to be treated.
serial muse Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Why in the hell would I ruin a good suit so a woman does not have to step through a puddle? She can walk around it. I am sure the entire street was not flooded. This is exactly what I was thinking, to be honest. I mean, I like when people are chivalrous to one another, and aware of each others' comfort. If my BF sees that I'm cold, lack an adequate coat for some reason (sorry Woggle) and so he offers me his coat, well then that's lovely and thoughtful of him. If I see that he's stressed out and tense, I might offer to massage his neck. I mean, it's just kindness. And yeah, if I'm clearly struggling with something heavy, and he doesn't offer to help, I'm annoyed by that - not because he's a guy, but because a little help here!? I'd do the exact same thing for him, and certainly have. So much of this is really just about people being kind to one another. Take, for example, the holding of doors. I don't stand by a door and wait for someone to open it for me; I hold the door when I get there first, unless my hands are full, and frequently hold it open for BF, random people, people with dogs, people with grocery bags. It's just a nice thing to do. Edited August 13, 2011 by serial muse
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 by LoveandSuch's definition I am not a gentleman. I don't always open doors for my GF and will not always pull out her chair. If am picking her up in my car I am not going to get out and open the door for her. She is a perfectly healthy female capable of doing those things for herself. I do things that will decrease her pain. I will give her my coat if she is cold, I will get out of her car to fill her gas tank in the middle of a Chicago winter, I will shovel snow off her driveway. I will carry her heavy bags etc.. if that doesn't make me a gentleman then I am more than okay with that and the ladies need to adjust their definitions.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 . So much of this is really just about people being kind to one another. Take, for example, the holding of doors. I don't stand by a door and wait for someone to open it for me; I hold the door when I get there first, unless my hands are full, and frequently hold it open for BF, random people, people with dogs, people with grocery bags. It's just a nice thing to do. OMG!! THANK YOU!! Haha most people don't hold the door!! I have stood holding a door for 10 minutes at one point because this older women was struggling. I felt TERRIBLE!! So I got her grocceries and held the door while she used her walker. I wish more people had common decency
FitChick Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 They should teach basic manners in school when kids are young so it becomes a habit. Including table manners.
rafallus Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Why would you go out with a woman who is obnoxious toward you unprovoked? Who said anything about going out with one? You can always meet one, whether you like it or not. Not everyone will always be nice and sweet to you, y'know.
Woggle Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I just think that men are sick of the princess entitlement syndrome where women think they are owed the world while they give nothing back to a man. It's sad that good and nice women have to pay the price for this but men have to pay for the sins of other men all the time.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 by LoveandSuch's definition I am not a gentleman. I don't always open doors for my GF and will not always pull out her chair. If am picking her up in my car I am not going to get out and open the door for her. She is a perfectly healthy female capable of doing those things for herself. I do things that will decrease her pain. I will give her my coat if she is cold, I will get out of her car to fill her gas tank in the middle of a Chicago winter, I will shovel snow off her driveway. I will carry her heavy bags etc.. if that doesn't make me a gentleman then I am more than okay with that and the ladies need to adjust their definitions. Why is she perfectly capable of opening doors, and pulling outs chairs, but not capable of filling her own gas tank, shoveling snow, or carrying heavy objects. I am heavy into fitness, and like to do those extra things in order to keep in shape. Opening doors and pulling out chairs is not done because the man feels you are weak, meek, and unable to handle the chore, he does this out of respect, decency, and politeness. No one is right or wrong, it is up to each individual to decide what their own standards and expectations are.
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