cereza Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I want my date to open the car door for me but I don't just want to tell him to do it..that would be weird since we barely know each other..any suggestions?
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 My new BF opens the door for me (still sometimes, and always did when we first started going out), but he's the first guy ever to do so who had a remote key. He does it in my car when I remote open it and we're taking the car, too. I always assumed it was something a guy just did or didn't do. I've dated tons of nice guys who don't do it---it's nice, I guess (though a teensy bit awkward---nowadays quite frequently I accidentally open it first since it's unlocked and awkward to wait), but I cannot imagine it being a big thing. But if it's important to you, I guess say, "I love it when guys open the car door for the girl --- it's so romantic!" or something.
KathyM Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Go to the car door and stand there while looking at him. I think he'll get the message. Same thing with opening other doors. You go to the door, wait there, and look at him. Then be sure to thank him when he opens it. I think it's a great habit for men to get into--opening doors for women. In fact, that's one of the things that first attracted me to my husband--he always opened the door for me, right from the start, and he still does, even after we've been married for many years.
allina Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Go to the car door and stand there while looking at him. I think he'll get the message. Same thing with opening other doors. You go to the door, wait there, and look at him. Then be sure to thank him when he opens it. I think it's a great habit for men to get into--opening doors for women. In fact, that's one of the things that first attracted me to my husband--he always opened the door for me, right from the start, and he still does, even after we've been married for many years. Hah, exactly what I would have written. Well, except the part about being married for many years, as it's only been one year for me
reboot Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Date an old guy like me who was raised that way.
phineas Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Are your arms broken? LOL! That said, I usually unlock & open the door for women before I get in. When we get out, that's up to her.
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Date an old guy like me who was raised that way. I agree.. kids today have no manners.. I always open the door/car door for a woman.. even if I don't know her.. I also open the door/car door for my Mom every time too.. something kids today don't do..
sm1tten Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 If you have to "get" him to do it, you've lost the battle already. Does him opening the door mean something to you? I guess I'm feeling like the meaning would be lost if he's being manipulated or forced into doing it.
DutchValhallaViking Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Or date a guy like me who has a rusty old car whose door is so stuck you need to wait till i rip the damn thing open with a crowbar. (Nah just kidding, my car is an oldy, and i love doing cheesy little things like opening doors etc for my day. But any date who insults my car will be walking home. ) Seriously though, you should drop hints you like it when a guy opens a car door for his girl. Best to do this when you and him may be walking down a sidewalk and you are looking at a car. So it doesnt seem too unnatural or random.
KathyM Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 If you have to "get" him to do it, you've lost the battle already. Does him opening the door mean something to you? I guess I'm feeling like the meaning would be lost if he's being manipulated or forced into doing it. I prefer to call it "training him". Some men were trained by their mothers on how to treat a woman. Some men have to be trained by their gfs or wives.
Pierre Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I want my date to open the car door for me but I don't just want to tell him to do it..that would be weird since we barely know each other..any suggestions? If a guy opens the door the female my think he is too intense. Guys are now trained to allow the woman to do the work during courting. I say this with tongue in cheek. Men also expect women to pay for a portion of the date. Women are expected to ask men out. You are also suppose to give him great sex after three dates (whether he opens the doors or not). Nowadays dating rules are weird. I think is the result of women's lib. Women wanted to be like guys, so men don't open doors for them. In my case I always open doors. I do it with my mother, sister, dates, and even strangers. However, with a date I am very dedicated to open doors.:love:
DutchValhallaViking Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I prefer to call it "training him". Some men were trained by their mothers on how to treat a woman. Some men have to be trained by their gfs or wives. And some men have been "trained" by feministic women who berate them for acts of 'chivalry' and 'nice guy syndrome' etc, so they might be too shy or uncomfortable doing those things again. I personally had such an encounter when i was waiting near the door of a drug store and a beautiful young woman was going to walk out, but she had an arm full of bags so i opened the rather heavy door for her. She snarled a "i can do that myself thank you very much!" at me, so i shrugged and let the door fall back and it hit her nose (the door had a gas-spring attached to it). Ironically, if it was a 30 year old ugly gangster wannabe with an arm full of bags with bling-bling i would have opened the door aswell.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I agree.. kids today have no manners.. I always open the door/car door for a woman.. even if I don't know her.. I also open the door/car door for my Mom every time too.. something kids today don't do.. Manners just refers to unwritten rules on how to do things. I'd say different generations simply have different manners. But that's just me. My only really big manners thing is I want the guy to walk on the outside of me on the street. To me, that's at least practical. He's saying he'll get hit by the car first, and that's love. (I'm halfway kidding. Though I do like that.) Not that I mind if a fellow opens a door for me, and it's very sweet, but I wouldn't call it "bad manners" if he didn't. Now if I was born 20 years earlier, sure.
LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 A man should open the car door for you, and he should pull the chair out for you when seated at a restaurant. All my exs did that and not just on the first couple dates.....all the time. Very respectful.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 A man should open the car door for you, and he should pull the chair out for you when seated at a restaurant. All my exs did that and not just on the first couple dates.....all the time. Very respectful. I kind of hate the chair thing. I won't snip at a fellow for it, but I will "train" him out of it I guess slowly but surely. I feel really uncomfortable and childlike when anyone does that for me. It's a bit like cutting my meat. (I'm not literally offended by it or aspiring any negative intentions towards it; I just will subtly let the guy know not to do it.) So, I guess I'm training guys poorly for the rest of y'all.
LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I kind of hate the chair thing. I won't snip at a fellow for it, but I will "train" him out of it I guess slowly but surely. I feel really uncomfortable and childlike when anyone does that for me. It's a bit like cutting my meat. (I'm not literally offended by it or aspiring any negative intentions towards it; I just will subtly let the guy know not to do it.) So, I guess I'm training guys poorly for the rest of y'all. These are 2 huge dealbreakers for me. Strange but true.
gameplace123 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 A man should open the car door for you, and he should pull the chair out for you when seated at a restaurant. All my exs did that and not just on the first couple dates.....all the time. Very respectful. If it's about respect, then you should do the same for him ...right?
LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 If it's about respect, then you should do the same for him ...right? Yes I would, if I happened to get to a door first, I would open it for him, but more often than not he will jump to grabbing it first or take the door after I opened it, to hold it for me. A true gentleman. It is their choice in doing this. I have never dated a man who did not do these nice gestures.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Yes I would, if I happened to get to a door first, I would open it for him, but more often than not he will jump to grabbing it first or take the door after I opened it, to hold it for me. A true gentleman. It is their choice in doing this. I have never dated a man who did not do these nice gestures. I always open the door for a fellow first if I get there first. Standing there WAITING would feel very stupid to me. Particularly waiting and LOOKING at him.
DutchValhallaViking Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Yes I would, if I happened to get to a door first, I would open it for him, but more often than not he will jump to grabbing it first or take the door after I opened it, to hold it for me. A true gentleman. It is their choice in doing this. I have never dated a man who did not do these nice gestures. Hmm, i wouldnt go as far as to jump to the door etc. Plenty of ways to be a gentleman without overdoing it in order to show you are one.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I want my date to open the car door for me but I don't just want to tell him to do it..that would be weird since we barely know each other..any suggestions? Wear a cast...on both arms.
Anxiety Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I've always opened doors, it just feels natural. I'll open the car door when your getting in, but your on your own when you get out though.
LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Hmm, i wouldnt go as far as to jump to the door etc. Plenty of ways to be a gentleman without overdoing it in order to show you are one. It has never felt like they were trying to do anything with intent, it was just second nature to naturally be a gentleman.
LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I've always opened doors, it just feels natural. I'll open the car door when your getting in, but your on your own when you get out though. Agh, then you lose out on taking the hand of your date and helping her out and getting a great glance of her beautiful legs sweeping out the car.
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