maria_patheticsoul Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) I am confused with my new relationship...4 months old realtionship to be exact. This guy i met online 2 1/2 years ago vanished a day before he was supposed to come and visit me here in my country. Last April i met him again in the same dating site where i met him first before...we got back together and it was going good until this first week of August when he needed to go back to his country(UK) because his father died. He was working in China. He showed some efforts in all aspect and i say "all aspects" financially even. He offered support and asked me to resign from my job. Well yes he is supporting me as i took a long vacation from work just to test him. But just recently he was being distant or maybe i was just being paranoid....i know he is busy sorting out the execution of the will since he is the eldest but also in my mind he is just making allibis..simple ones but very noticeable. He used to reply my sms in a wink of an eye but when he went back home it takes him hours to reply me saying a "network provider problem". He used to call me whenever he knows i am upset but these days no more. I am wondering what to do next...he has this attirude that he just vanishes but i am thinking why the effort of sending money every month if i dont mean anything to him....maybe he is just compensating me for what he did before? I feel in my heart that he is not playing though..well if i were in his shoes i will not do such effort for a man if i dont feel anything for him....so what do you say is he real? Edited August 13, 2011 by maria_patheticsoul wrong spelling
Eddie Edirol Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 He isnt real. he is playing you and you are letting him. he gives you money and contacts you once in a while to keep you around either for his ego, or for sex. Right now he is probably collecting other women and doing the same thing looking for love, that is closer to where he is staying. Id be willing to bet he told you his father died so you would leave him alone, because that is a tough thing to call people out on. I dont think he has any dead relatives, but since he doesnt talk to you as much as he used to, dont believe his excuses, he found another woman that hed rather talk to.
Author maria_patheticsoul Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Hmm he is playing me...i sent him sms last night saying that i am having this feeling that he is being so distant he replied saying he was just too busy past few days...i just tried if he will reply and he did. Enlighten me a bit here because he is really sending me money for support and not a small amount i doubt if the only thing he wanted is sex because i am here in manila and he is working in china if sex he wants he can easily get it from where he is....and the fact that we haven't met in real yet??????????? What kind of a man is that spending a lot of money to a woman he hasn't met yet? Well if he is playing then he must be really sick. We do skype often when he was in china but not these days since he went back to UK. This really bothers me a lot i dont know how to know if he is real.
madjac74 Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Im pretty sure no one is in a LDR for the sex. I cant speak for everyone of course but that just seems to be a ridiculous claim. The only situation I can think of that would make that a viable solution would be if its a place he travels to often for business and needs a companion there. But anyway I must say that you seem a bit selfish to be complaining about him not giving you enough attention when you said his father just died. Dont you think he would be busy with travel, family and preparations for the funeral and as you said the sorting out of the will? Plus You doubt his intentions and sincerity yet you have no problem accepting his money.
Author maria_patheticsoul Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Well yeah i've thought about that...he's been in UK for almost 3 weeks now the funeral is over and everything just the execution of the will. Manila is not a place that he often visits. About the money i was just testing his sincerity and along with that i have thoughts of maybe he was just compensating me for what he did before to me. He vanished even before we met in real i even had the effort to fetch him at the airport but he was not there. I resigned from my job because i wanted the relationship to work out for the second time. It's because i work graveyard shift we dont have time to talk at all even on weekends and during my rest days he insists that i rest and i felt it was not going anywhere so i decided to resign to give the relationship a shot anyway i can always apply for another job. I must admit i still doubt him a bit because he have this character of saying a lot of bs from a woman's point of view...it's just too good to be true. This site often helps me not to cloud my judgement because of the comments i get everytime i post a thread.
madjac74 Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Well I dont know what he did to you and its none of my business but I hope its not something that he thinks he needs to pay you the money to keep you quiet. If thats not the case then he must really care about you to still be giving you money. It seems strange that he wouldnt just use this money to come see you or have you come see him. I cant imagine anyone financially supporting someone they have never met except for one of those "sponsor a child" programs.
Author maria_patheticsoul Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 He is supposed to come for a visit last June but he was not able as he can not leave his business. I am supposed to go there but i am still processing my passport. Well in all honesty i really dont know what is running inside his head. I do not question the efforts he is doing but i still feel something is not right.
TMichaels Posted August 16, 2011 Posted August 16, 2011 (edited) He is supposed to come for a visit last June but he was not able as he can not leave his business. I am supposed to go there but i am still processing my passport. Well in all honesty i really dont know what is running inside his head. I do not question the efforts he is doing but i still feel something is not right. That's an understatement. Something's rotten in Denmark, China, Manilla and the UK. Why in heck would YOU *quit your job* for someone you've met on a dating site and have never even spent time with in person? And furthermore, *WHY would HE ask you to do so,* then support you financially all because he reneged on plans to meet up? Sorry, none of this makes any sense. But forget about "what's running inside *his* head." What's going on in yours? You may beg to differ but what you've described isn't a relationship, it may well be viewed by many as a form of prostitution. It might behoove you to reconsider broadcasting your "arrangement" to the rest of the world as it could end up landing you and your paramour on a "holiday" neither one of you will like to be forced to take. Best, TMichaels Edited August 16, 2011 by TMichaels
Author maria_patheticsoul Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 That's an understatement. Something's rotten in Denmark, China, Manilla and the UK. Why in heck would YOU *quit your job* for someone you've met on a dating site and have never even spent time with in person? And furthermore, *WHY would HE ask you to do so,* then support you financially all because he reneged on plans to meet up? Sorry, none of this makes any sense. But forget about "what's running inside *his* head." What's going on in yours? You may beg to differ but what you've described isn't a relationship, it may well be viewed by many as a form of prostitution. It might behoove you to reconsider broadcasting your "arrangement" to the rest of the world as it could end up landing you and your paramour on a "holiday" neither one of you will like to be forced to take. Best, TMichaels Is it really viewed by many as a form of prostitution? True we haven't met in real yet. The financial support we discussed according to him is a part of being committed. Again as i mentioned i resigned because i wanted the relationship to work out. Yes i met him online but this was not the first time we had this thing...he vanished the first time because he admitted he was just playing back then. We did not communicate for 2 1/2 years because we did not know how to since we both changed our ids' the second time meeting him online was an accident neither one of us were expecting it. So why will a man ask a woman to stop working and support her financially? I dont think he is just after sex or cyber sex because with the amount he is sending me it's more than enough to buy sex from where he is. But anyway it's your opinion.
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