Lob Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I've been dating this guy for a month and things went well in the beginning. I seldom turned him down, but what happened was he did not keep his words from time to time. He completely forgot about things that he promised me. He said he want to take me to a place several times but at the end he secretly went with friends for there is no more seat in the car for me. Everything in his world seemed more important than me. He wanted to move things toward a relationship but recently we've decided that we should not bring things to the next level for now because there are something on my side to be resolved first. He told me that he would give me time and wait. Since we made this decision, he became less active and talked to me a lot less. He still asked me out but canceled things in the last minute more often. He promised to come help me over but he never showed up. These signals in turn made me hesitate to initiate things or to accept his invites to the following dates. Now he asked me where we were, and told me he was confused. He complaint that he didn't hear from me. He thought that I did not want to spend time with him anymore (although the real reason I hesitated was as stated above -- He changed his plans too often and made me re-evaluate how serious he is with me.) He said he didn't want to pursue things further with me at this point unless I give him a green light (but from my side I've been waiting for him to show that he is serious first given those behavior patterns). The next day he asked me out again (but not a date). I accepted the invite to show him a positive sign. However, he changed his plan again, not in the last minute but after the proposed time we were supposed to meet. What the hell does he want? I really like him but part of me saw the bad signs.. How do I move things forward with him? Should I drop it now? What does it mean when guys do not keep their words?
thatone Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 if he were that interested he would be there, and not cancel.
Author Lob Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 If it was true, why did he make it obvious that he was very interested in me? -- he told his friends about me, and in front of others, he also behaved more than what a friend would do to me... It seemed that he wanted to make sure everyone knows that he's got me. However, when he asked me out and then canceled it in the last minute, it was the opposite signal. I'm confused!
LoveandSuch Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 If it was true, why did he make it obvious that he was very interested in me? -- he told his friends about me, and in front of others, he also behaved more than what a friend would do to me... It seemed that he wanted to make sure everyone knows that he's got me. However, when he asked me out and then canceled it in the last minute, it was the opposite signal. I'm confused! You can give it a few small chances, but if he does not initiate time with you, I would move on. I do not kid myself, if a man is not calling me, intiating texts, so on, I never imagine or ask does he like me or the why nots. If he is not responding he is not interested, he detests me, he thinks lowly of me. I think like this in order to move on with my dignity intact. A man will find a way to contact you, any slight way, if he is interested.
threebyfate Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 He wanted to move things toward a relationship but recently we've decided that we should not bring things to the next level for now because there are something on my side to be resolved first. In order to give more appropriate advice that's tailored to your situation, it would help if you could explain why moving to the next level can't happen.
spiderowl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 What people say and what people do are two different things. If you judge guys by what they do rather than what they say, you will likely get a truer idea of their intentions. This guys sounds like he's trying to come across one way but is messing you around. He's then implying it's because you are not serious about him. I don't see how you can be serious about someone who has let you down so often by changing his plans. It might be best if you tell him why you are wary, i.e. that he changes his plans so often you cannot rely on him. You can't get serious about someone you cannot rely on. If he is serious, then this would be a wake-up call for him and he'd realise he'll have to show you more respect or you will keep a distance.
ilovedhim Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Listen to his actions, not his words. If you want to give hime one last chance do so. but make a promise to yourself if he doesnt show up youll go no contact. You deserve better.
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