zebrack25 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) I dated this girl for 4 months. I know it's not very long, but I'm 21, she was my first girlfriend that was serious, and there were times when I felt really close with her. She left me for another guy who she was always talking to during our relationship and started dating him immediately upon breaking up with me. She told me that she saw me as a being her best friend and that she wanted me in her life forever and people that date usually break up and never spoke again. She said if she dated this guy and we became "just friends" we could stay in each other's lives forever. In other words, she wanted me as an emotional tampon she can vent about her life problems too. I still can't believe I believed that. I guess I didn't really want to believe that she just wanted another guy and wasn't into me anymore. Anyways, mostly because I was a doormat and partly because I cared for her, I played the best friend role thinking I would get her back. I even consoled her after she broke up with her "boyfriend". I don't want to get into what happened, but I saw how little respect I had for myself and how much she treated me like dirt during and after our relationship, and we had a falling out, and havent spoken in 3 months. She blocked me from seeing her wall on Facebook and I really want to delete her and remove her completely from my life. I never want to date her or even see her again, but I still have feelings for her that I want to be gone. Going full No Contact will accomplish that for me. Any input or advice would be appreciated. Edited August 13, 2011 by zebrack25
Kk47 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I would steer clear of this one sounds like she just wants to use you for everything you are worth.
movana Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 hey, sorry to hear that. I think the whole facebook thing is a bit of a nightmare when it comes to romance anyway! I think the best thing to do is to take a stand and delete her, that way you will be able to move on with your life and forget her, without being tempted to view her updates etc and melt your head about it. Some people do stay friends after a relationship but that is only if both parties treated each other with respect and their relationship was friendship based in the first instance. Unfortunately this girl seems quite immature and hasn't been much of a friend to you, like you say in your post. By deleting her you will put her in the position of having to put in a greater amount of effort to keep in touch, whilst allowing yourself time to lick your wounds so to speak and get over her. If she was fair she would allow you that time before seeking a friendship, since it was her decision to end the relationship. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself the whole "staying friends" thing is unfair and deep doiwn she knows this, she knows you care and this is why she's probably hiding her wall, so you can't see what she's up to. If you don't want to delete her on facebook then alternatively you could block her posts and be very disciplined ie NEVER view her page. At the same time add new girls you fancy and most definitely start seeing other people yourself asap. If she calls you ignore her, if she texts reply with a few words (remain detached) 3 days later. This way you are distancing yourself emotionally from her while giving her an opportunity to see the error of her ways. But! Don't count on it that she will. Wishing you luck with everything :-)
ahoy Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 She sounds like an absolute gem! Haha, lining up another guy before the end of your relationship. Block her and don't look back - she's not worth the **** on your shoe.
Rory12345 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Delete her and block her. Before I deleted my ex I just went on her profile and it tormented me. It will do you good removing her. You'll just hurt more and more if you don't. Out of sight, out of mind! Cheers
confused1989 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Sounds a lot like my ex. I was with mine for over a year and a half and after we ended she decided to put me on limited profile. She too had another guy lined up as soon as we ended. Anyway I didn't stay friends with her or anything and ignored most of her texts for the next few months but eventually I deleted her off Facebook because well.. she had me on limited profile anyway and she was uploading pictures of her with her new guy and all of that kinda stuff. I would 100% agree with the others and say delete her, and also block her if you have to. At first I only deleted my ex but then I found myself still seeing things that I didn't want to be seeing so I blocked her a little while afterwards. If I had to pick one thing that I think has helped the most in moving forward I'd say it's that I deleted her off of FB. I felt guilty at first and debated it for a long time, but now I'm wishing I did it earlier. I got an ear full from my ex when I deleted her though but I was prepared for that. It blows over though and she went from sending me sarcastic angry texts to sending me "friendly" ones a few days later after I didn't respond. Bottom line though, she left you for another guy, same thing my ex did, you don't want to date her or even see her again, so I definitely agree with the others that you should delete her.
Casablanca Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Delete her and block her. Before I deleted my ex I just went on her profile and it tormented me. It will do you good removing her. You'll just hurt more and more if you don't. Out of sight, out of mind! Cheers I agree...blocking was the best thing I ever did to help me get over an ex because I no longer had to fear seeing their profile picture pop on on a friend's wall or anything
antinko Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Yeh, I tried to get rid of my FB account but I find it too useful so I kept it. I am, however, blocking my ex. It just hurts too much to even look at her.
Mack05 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Agree with all above. She doesn't deserve your friendship.Block her, move on and never look back.
Author zebrack25 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Thank you everyone! She's deleted and hopefully I can begin to make an even fuller recovery!
KathyM Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I dated this girl for 4 months. I know it's not very long, but I'm 21, she was my first girlfriend that was serious, and there were times when I felt really close with her. She left me for another guy who she was always talking to during our relationship and started dating him immediately upon breaking up with me. She told me that she saw me as a being her best friend and that she wanted me in her life forever and people that date usually break up and never spoke again. She said if she dated this guy and we became "just friends" we could stay in each other's lives forever. In other words, she wanted me as an emotional tampon she can vent about her life problems too. I still can't believe I believed that. I guess I didn't really want to believe that she just wanted another guy and wasn't into me anymore. Anyways, mostly because I was a doormat and partly because I cared for her, I played the best friend role thinking I would get her back. I even consoled her after she broke up with her "boyfriend". I don't want to get into what happened, but I saw how little respect I had for myself and how much she treated me like dirt during and after our relationship, and we had a falling out, and havent spoken in 3 months. She blocked me from seeing her wall on Facebook and I really want to delete her and remove her completely from my life. I never want to date her or even see her again, but I still have feelings for her that I want to be gone. Going full No Contact will accomplish that for me. Any input or advice would be appreciated. By all means, delete her on fb. What would be the point in keeping her on there? Time to move on with your life and find someone who will appreciate you.
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