gator_cutie Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I really need some unbiased opinions. So here's the story, I have a really good guy friend. We met at work in a call center. We started working there around the same time and sat next to each other for about 2 and 1/2 years. During which time we developed a really cool friendship. For the first 7 months I worked there, I was in a serious relationship with my son's father. After we split up I was in rebound type relationship for a few months. So for about the first year that I was friends with this guy, I was taken and he was single. Not long after I split up with my rebounder is when I started developing feelings for my guy friend. I made a comment one day about how we should go out together kinda jokingly and that's when I found out he had just starting dating this other girl that worked with us. I was a little disappointed but I had not developed really strong feelings for him yet. So at that point, I kinda pushed back my feelings because we worked so closely and I didn't want things to be awkward between us. Also, I'm not one to be a "homewrecker". In fact, I have never liked a guy that has a girlfriend and always steered clear of men that are taken. Just wanted to throw that out there so you don't think I'm some chic that chases other women's men. My feelings for this guy just developed over the course of our friendship and honestly I feel really bad for liking him when I know he has a girlfriend. So anyways, me and my friend sat next to each other at work and we would hang out and talk about life and sports and all kinds of stuff. I'd even come to him for guy advice. By the way, I've been single for a year and a half now. I've dated several guys during that time but nothing serious. About a month ago, we both got promoted and moved to separate departments. He moved to his new department about a week and half before I moved to mine. So I guess it was the point that he moved to his new department when those feelings that I had pushed down for so long just starting coming back. I think because I didn't get to see him and hang out with him everyday I started to really miss him and I think he misses me too cuz when I moved to over to my new department (which is in the same building) he started stopping by my desk and we take breaks together and we chat each other on aim and talk crap like we used to. Also he has said some things recently that make me really think that he may like me too but I'm still not sure. Lately I just can't stop thinking about him and I really want to tell him that I like him. I keep going over all of the factors involved and possible outcomes in my head and I'm just stressed out over it. I kinda just want to put it out there, see what he says and take it from there. But then if he doesn't like me, I know things will get awkward and there's a possibility of losing our friendship all together which would really suck. But if he does like me, who knows, maybe we could end up together. I don't expect it to be an immediate thing because I don't plan on starting anything up until he is single. I don't think I can take the not knowing anymore. I'm tired of beating around the bush and dropping hints. I really want to know if he has feelings for me too. If someone could please give me some advice on this I would be so grateful. Should I tell him and risk losing our friendship but gain the possibility of a relationship? If I do tell him, how should I approach it? Or should I keep him as a friend and move on?
Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 If he is in a relationship I would steer clear IMHO. If he likes you enough in any case he will come to you.
Casablanca Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 If he is in a relationship I would steer clear IMHO. Don't be a homewrecker...keep it to yourself, if they break up, then let him know
Duckduckgoose Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 He's in a relationship but he's showing signs he likes you? Hmm... I see a few red flags here. He's spending his time with YOU and not his gf, while he's in a relationship. That means she's probably hurting right now... wondering why her boyfriend ignores her IMs other chicks, and doesn't hang out with her at lunch or even call. If he leaves her and ya'll get together, you can most assuredly expect that he will do the same thing to you... grow distant with you when he wants to end things, and start putting feelers out for other women while ya'll are still involved. I read a book "How not to date a jerk". A good way to find out how they will treat you is to see how they treat other partners.
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