AlexDP Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Well, let's turn it around: I wouldn't want to date a woman who was taller than me. So no, you're not a bitch .
JaneDoe35 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I am 5'3". My ex husband was 6'2". Since I have been back in the world of dating I have dated one man who was the same height as my ex husband. The rest have been between 5'5" and 5'10". My current man is probably 5'5". When I wear very high heels I am his height or taller - I think! Truthfully I don't know for certain as his height is pretty much a non issue. I personally would never not date someone because of their height. I just like the type that appeals to me....
rafallus Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) I was just having a conversation with my male friend and he is 20 and 5'5. He asked me if I would ever date him. I told him probably not since there is no chemistry and I feel weird dating shorter men. I think it is strange being taller than my boyfriend. Then he called me a bitch and I have not heard back from him. Lol. Seriously though, what is wrong with dating preferences? I am not a bitch just because I don't like to be taller than someone I date. Or am I? I think I really offended him. Bolded takes priority over him being short. Him being short is just a backwards rationalization to why there is no chemistry. I know short guys, who can create it with girls they approach, so I don't think him being short was as much of dealbreaker as it seemed. I'm not talking about preferences, because IME they always take a back seat, if chemistry can be created. So, no, you aren't a bitch, it's just that you probably focused on a wrong part of explanation. Edited August 13, 2011 by rafallus
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I was just having a conversation with my male friend and he is 20 and 5'5. He asked me if I would ever date him. I told him probably not since there is no chemistry and I feel weird dating shorter men. I think it is strange being taller than my boyfriend. You're not a bitch, and you're not alone. You were perhaps a bit blunt, but in reading the whole thread, sounds like he was kind of asking for it. While I have not met enough men at that height to say 100%, I'm pretty darn sure I'd never date anyone shorter than me (I'm 5'6'') as the men I see under that height aren't attractive to me. But I rarely meet a man shorter than me, so sometimes hard to say. It's not like it's a "rule" for me, but I do find certain body types unattractive, and all the truly short guys I've met are either really gym rat muscle-bound (to compensate? I guess) or super thin, neither of which are my thing. I don't think you CAN have the body type that appeals to me at that height (though I've met guys slightly under 5'8'' who do). (For the body type I'm thinking: I'd say circa Good Will Hunting style either Matt Damon or Ben Affleck -- both were a little bit meaty, but not fat in that movie, though obviously Affleck is way tall and Damon is around 5'10''. *Note* I'm not really commenting on the overall appearance of them in general; it's just hard to find an example in Hollywood for what is a pretty common body type in life---strong, normal looking guys who aren't thin, gym ratty or fat. The guys I've met who are shorter than me cannot have this body; if they look close to that, they tend to look chubby. But that's just what I've noticed. . . it's kind of how taller curvy girls look totally different from the shorter ones.) Damn right. Any woman who refuses to date a guy because he is shorter, (but still a normal non-dwarf height) is a shallow bitch. So why is it less shallow than refusing to date someone who has dwarfism? All physical attraction and preferences are shallow. What makes us deeper is when we also ADD other components to them.
somedude81 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Is a man who is one inch shorter than a girl really comparable to one who is two feet shorter? As bad as it is to say it, people with dwarfism aren't normal. I'm not going to go into all the way's that they are different and the medical issues that they have.
SteveC80 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 As a tall guy i saw first hand the attraction of being tall i think its two things One: women want to look small and dainty,theyve been programmed all their whole life that they have to look small and a shorter guy automatically gives them insecure feelings from the start about themselves so thats already a negative before knowing the guy two: women are dirty pieces of **** just like Men and their first thoughts are about the bedroom..most women are submissive and the feeling of being towered over makes them fele like they can easily be dominated in the bedroom which is what most are lookign for
somedude81 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Is there anything a short guy can do to make her feel small and dominated? Just because I'm short doesn't mean I can't pick a girl up and carry her around like she's a doll.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Is a man who is one inch shorter than a girl really comparable to one who is two feet shorter? As bad as it is to say it, people with dwarfism aren't normal. I'm not going to go into all the way's that they are different and the medical issues that they have. I wasn't comparing them looks-wise. I was pointing out that it's still shallow. Liking someone for how they look is shallow, but we all do it, with every person we date. It only remains shallow if you ONLY like them for how they look. And Peter Dinklage has a hot wife, so I guess some people with dwarfism do okay. (I'm aware he's likely an outlier since he's a celebrity, but not sure when they met. . . I think when he hadn't yet 'made it' and was still doing off-Broadway theatre.) What would also be shallow would be meeting a guy you really do LIKE and are super attracted to and not dating him because you don't think other people would think he's hot, but I don't see the OP doing this.
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Is there anything a short guy can do to make her feel small and dominated? Just because I'm short doesn't mean I can't pick a girl up and carry her around like she's a doll. Sorry you had to read this thread man, I know it really plays on your insecurities. I am 6', 6'1" with shoes and have never felt short in my whole life. After reading this thread I am getting self conscious about my height.
somedude81 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I wasn't comparing them looks-wise. I was pointing out that it's still shallow. Liking someone for how they look is shallow, but we all do it, with every person we date. It only remains shallow if you ONLY like them for how they look. I think there is a difference between standards and being shallow. Or maybe a space between them. I wouldn't think I'm shallow for not wanting to date an obese woman. But if I didn't want to date a girl because she could lose 10 pounds, that is shallow. And Peter Dinklage has a hot wife, so I guess some people with dwarfism do okay. (I'm aware he's likely an outlier since he's a celebrity, but not sure when they met. . . I think when he hadn't yet 'made it' and was still doing off-Broadway theatre.) Peter Dinklage is great. He was amazing as Tyrion Lannister. I hope he gets the Emmy. And yes he is an outlier. Though he did make me think of something. Charisma and personality can make up the difference that is lacking from physical attractiveness. Some men are lucky to develop an attractive personality. I have often said, if I were tall or smooth, I would do just fine with the ladies. But lacking in both, I don't have a prayer. Sorry you had to read this thread man, I know it really plays on your insecurities. I am 6', 6'1" with shoes and have never felt short in my whole life. After reading this thread I am getting self conscious about my height. If my eyes rolled back any further they'd pop out of my head.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I think there is a difference between standards and being shallow. Or maybe a space between them. I wouldn't think I'm shallow for not wanting to date an obese woman. But if I didn't want to date a girl because she could lose 10 pounds, that is shallow. I think the idea of "standards" is pretty shallow. But admitting who you're attracted to is not. I think it's more shallow to say an entire group of people is undateable for everyone and so it's okay (whether they have dwarfism or are obese) than it is to say, "This isn't my cuppa." But that's my view. Peter Dinklage is great. He was amazing as Tyrion Lannister. I hope he gets the Emmy. I hope he does too! I loved him on that show.
grkBoy Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I was just having a conversation with my male friend and he is 20 and 5'5. He asked me if I would ever date him. I told him probably not since there is no chemistry and I feel weird dating shorter men. I think it is strange being taller than my boyfriend. Then he called me a bitch and I have not heard back from him. Lol. Seriously though, what is wrong with dating preferences? I am not a bitch just because I don't like to be taller than someone I date. Or am I? I think I really offended him. There isn't anything wrong with preferences. Your friend is angry because he's short and probably faces a lot of rejections from women who want a tall man. Same thing I always say...standards are only good if you can attain them. So it's never a question if you're a "good girl" or a "b***h", but if you're being realistic or unrealistic. If you're getting older and really want to get married and have kids...but all the tall men you like won't commit or won't pick you, then you might have to rethink that standard you keep. I've seen women who lament endlessly on how all the tall guys or hot guys won't commit or pick them over younger/hotter women, but all the guys who would pick the complaining female are short and/or ugly...the woman then has to decide what's more important to her then...and if the marriage/family thing is that important to her that she'll rethink those standards to find someone willing to walk the aisle with her. I knew one woman who fell for a starving artist who doesn't fully commit to anyone. She thought he was gorgeous, amazing in bed, etc...but he was poor and unstable. Yet she kept meeting stable successful guys who were not tall enough for her needs and/or not good looking enough. She decided she would rather be in an off/on thing with her artist and accept she might never get married or have a family. If she complained how Mr. Artist won't commit, I only point out she made her choice. Same goes for you Tasha. If you want tall and can get tall, then go with it. If all the tall guys won't give you want you want in life, then you need to rethink it all. As for your friend, he needs to just deal with his situation. The problem with many short guys is they get very insecure and thus that shows even more than the height. I've noticed women will look for many reasons to reject a guy...so if he's successful, handsome, loyal, loving, interesting, but short...some women will overlook it. However if he's antisocial, nerdy, strange, ugly, financially unstable, etc...him being short is just one more reason she has then to reject him.
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Seriously though, what is wrong with dating preferences? I am not a bitch just because I don't like to be taller than someone I date. Or am I? I think I really offended him. There is nothing wrong with having preference like height.. and no you are no a biotch.. but.... The older you get you will realize how silly it is and only shrinks your dating pool to almost zero.
Content Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I think allot of it is social conditioning Theyres a reason why most marketign is geared towards women they know allot of women are impressionable creatures who eat images up WOmen have heard tall dark and handsome all their lives as some sort of prize they have to get otehrwise theyve failed Some women mention being tall about a guy befoe anyhting else as if they have to say it abnd have been conditioned to look for it Allot of women just are attracted naturally to tall men but some of it is social conditioning, i bet if the media made it more aceptable to date short guys or made short guys out to be hot women wouldnt be afraid of dating short guys
sm1tten Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Preferences, standards, shallowness... whatever. This would be like me saying "is a man an ******* if he will not date a person of this ethnic background?" Like height, it's not something that can be changed, and it is something that people often have a strong attraction to or against. I really don't get the idea that men who are taller than me are supposed to convey strength and dominance, because the most dominant man I've ever dated was 3" shorter than me. I go out with men I'm attracted to. If you're good looking and smart and funny, I'm not necessarily going to reject you because you're only such and such tall. This really only matters to me if I was already on the fence with you. This is because height is really not the physical characteristic that I'm interested in.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) There is nothing wrong with having preference like height.. and no you are no a biotch.. but.... The older you get you will realize how silly it is and only shrinks your dating pool to almost zero. Maybe if you're talking over 6 foot or something, but I've only met a few men in my life who were 5'5'' --- that's a really small percentage of guys there. At least anywhere I've lived. ETA: This reminds me . . . There's a girl who always comes up in the "Someone Like" (or did) feature on OKC when you bring up my profile under a male account (I've seen it on friends' accounts), so the site is saying we are similar in some ways (only like 70% similar, and it says I'm "More Optimistic" FTR ) and I read her profile because she's the only super pretty girl in my "Someone Like" panel (so all the other girls like me? I would rather look like me; her? Eh, sometimes I'd rather look like her, though I do like the way I look, but she's blonde and super tall/leggy and tan, and I've never been any of those things), and hers says "Don't even message me if you're under 6 foot." Now SHE is limiting her dating pool. She has a list of other things too. But she's hot, and she probably still finds guys. Edited August 13, 2011 by zengirl
PJKino Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 It is what it is, as a short guy you have to be nearly perfect in every other area because the height thing will definitely be used against you I know a women whos in her 30's had one bad experience with a short guy and said shes never giving short guys another chance menawhile shes been through tons of bad relationships with tall guys yet doesnt use a few bad examples to generealize all tall guys Height is a pretty big drug for women
PJKino Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 And im not saying its shallow to have preferences we all do and i totally get women being self conscious about being bigger then her Man i just think when i hear a women say a man could be perfect in every way but if hes near her height in like 4 inch heels she wont date him To me that sounds amazingly shallow that a article of clothing will stop you from dating a great guy
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 It is what it is, as a short guy you have to be nearly perfect in every other area because the height thing will definitely be used against you I know a women whos in her 30's had one bad experience with a short guy and said shes never giving short guys another chance menawhile shes been through tons of bad relationships with tall guys yet doesnt use a few bad examples to generealize all tall guys Height is a pretty big drug for women Well, the bolded part is stupid. Having a physical preference is not. I dig dark haired guys and have never dated a blonde (not making it a rule, but I rarely find a blonde male attractive). I don't find this shallow, and I'm not saying blonde guys are ugly or stupid or evil or bad boyfriends. I just don't prefer them, generally. It seems to me like that's the same thing the OP was saying with height, albeit less gently.
PJKino Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Well, the bolded part is stupid. Having a physical preference is not. I dig dark haired guys and have never dated a blonde (not making it a rule, but I rarely find a blonde male attractive). I don't find this shallow, and I'm not saying blonde guys are ugly or stupid or evil or bad boyfriends. I just don't prefer them, generally. It seems to me like that's the same thing the OP was saying with height, albeit less gently. I hear you but i think the blond dark haired thing is more split evenly where id say most women prefer tall guys
ptp Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Well, the bolded part is stupid. Having a physical preference is not. I dig dark haired guys and have never dated a blonde (not making it a rule, but I rarely find a blonde male attractive). I don't find this shallow, and I'm not saying blonde guys are ugly or stupid or evil or bad boyfriends. I just don't prefer them, generally. It seems to me like that's the same thing the OP was saying with height, albeit less gently. It isn't the same thing. What you stated was a preference what she stated is a deal breaker. It would be like a guy saying I perfer blondes to brunettes but, I will date a brunette if she is cute. Vs Telling a girl to her face, "I know you like me but, I am not going to date you because your breasts are smaller than C cup". If you don't meet a person's preference it doesn't imply they aren't going to date you. What the OP said was that the guy's height was a deal breaker. Edited August 13, 2011 by ptp
rafallus Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 ^I agree. I dare anyone to find a single couple where even a single side meets 100% of preferences of their partner. Essentially in Tasha's case it was established that guy was a friend and not dateable, so I fail to see, how it was directly related to his height. More like she just didn't feel it overall and had to pin the tail on the donkey, because he put her on the spot with a question.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I was just having a conversation with my male friend and he is 20 and 5'5. He asked me if I would ever date him. I told him probably not since there is no chemistry and I feel weird dating shorter men. I think it is strange being taller than my boyfriend. Then he called me a bitch and I have not heard back from him. Lol. Seriously though, what is wrong with dating preferences? I am not a bitch just because I don't like to be taller than someone I date. Or am I? I think I really offended him. You are a b*tch not because of your dating preferences but because of your lack of tact and class. For example, I would never date a black woman (I think they look gross), but I would never state that directly. That's just bad manners.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 It isn't the same thing. What you stated was a preference what she stated is a deal breaker. It would be like a guy saying I perfer blondes to brunettes but, I will date a brunette if she is cute. Vs Telling a girl to her face, "I know you like me but, I am not going to date you because your breasts are smaller than C cup". If you don't meet a person's preference it doesn't imply they aren't going to date you. What the OP said was that the guy's height was a deal breaker. Not the same as talking about breasts, but polite people don't talk about breast size or penis size out of the blue. To me, it's the same as saying, "I don't date blondes." I've definitely told a guy that, even though it's hyperbole. I'm not anti-dating blondes; I just rarely find them attractive, and when you're speaking, we often shorten. (In my case, it's be a playful, "Aw, thanks for the offer, but I don't generally go for the blonde boys" or something because that's my style.) The OP is stating it in relation to a conversation where it came up. The breast size thing is rude because it's rude to talk about someone's breasts, period. Totally different reason.
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