Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Based on what she posted, what she did was wrong and deserved it. You failed to mention that you were talking about height. From what you posted, it seemed that he asked you out and that you said you have no chemistry and that it feels weird to date short guys. Under those circumstances, you deserved what you got. But now it seems that there was more to the situation. Either way, it's still the same things as a guy turning down a woman and saying that it feels weird to date girls that are heavier. Even with the left out info (sorry again) I guess it is kinda the same but I didn't just randomly call him too short lol. I would've just stuck with the chemistry. But to some I guess I could appear as superficial rather a bitch. But in any case I feel like I should be happy and if I feel weird with the guy being shorter that is not my fault. I can't control my attraction.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 I mean there really is NO chemistry and he started the short talk that is the only reason I answered him honestly. He asked if I'd date him since his mom is dating a shorter guy. I basically said no it just doesn't feel right and so I don't feel like I was a bitch. I have a hard time lying to the people in my life so I was honest. Now I feel bad due to his reaction but he brought it up AND asked, with his height being on the line. I didn't say it in a rude way. =\ Maybe I should have changed the subject
Cracker Jack Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Tasha, you don't have to continue trying to explain yourself. You said what you said, he took offense to it--you tried to get back in contact with him, but couldn't because he's still sore about it. It's done with. You can tell him you didn't mean to make him feel insulted if you guys talk again. Dust's approach to this is cool.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 He did confess he had a crush on me a while back but I told him I just wanted to be friends. I would ask what made this time so different but I guess I know now. He still shouldn't have reacted like that! He specifically replied with "Uhhh WOW. You're pretty much a bitch..."
Dust Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 He did confess he had a crush on me a while back but I told him I just wanted to be friends. I would ask what made this time so different but I guess I know now. He still shouldn't have reacted like that! He specifically replied with "Uhhh WOW. You're pretty much a bitch..." That’s just really nasty of him.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Thanks everyone! I feel a bit better. I just take it too hard when I know I upset someone. It truly bugs me. I also guess I don't feel bad about Answerig him honestly. I just feel bad because he thinks I'm a bitch because of my honesty. Lame. Oh well!
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 That’s just really nasty of him. I thought so! I was shocked. Because we've been friends since 9th grade. And over something like that he blows a fuse. I didn't know he was so insecure. He never seemed to let it bother him before.
Cypress25 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 No woman has ever told me that she rejected me because I'm not tall. But if a girl ever even hints it to me, I will give her an ear-full. People are allowed to have their preferences. You may not like it, but you don't have the right to lecture people about it. Whether or not you admit it, you have preferences too. Maybe you don't like girls with a big nose, or crooked teeth, or small boobs. If you thought a girl was unattractive, for any reason, you wouldn't want to date her. That's normal. It is completely unfair being an otherwise completely normal dude but because of God deciding to make me short, causes me to be unattractive to women. You're right, it's not fair, but the laws of attraction are not about fairness. Women don't owe you anything (and you don't owe them anything). When you're hitting on a girl, she's not thinking to herself, "Gee, how can I make this guy's life more fair?" It's not her job to make things fair for you. A short guy is often compared to a fat girl because both are considered unattractive to the opposite gender. The key difference is that there isn't a damn thing outside of painful and expensive surgery that a guy can do to get taller. No one is blaming you for your height. No one expects you to do anything about it. It may seem like people are holding it against you, but it's not like that. When a girl turns you down, she's not punishing you. She doesn't fault you for being short, it's just not her thing. Just because you're short doesn't mean you're doomed. My last boyfriend was 5'7" and I thought that was the perfect height. And he's never had any trouble getting girls, that's for sure. He was something of a player in high school and college, and I've seen his flirting in action. He can get any girl he wants. Why? Because he's cute and he has very good social skills. Outgoing, friendly, great sense of humor. And he's smooth (all players have to be). And if a girl does turn him down, he doesn't unleash a bitter tirade on her. He just shrugs and moves on. It's not your height that's holding you back, hon. It's your attitude. You're not that short, so I doubt all those girls are rejecting you based on your height. Maybe your social skills need some work.
somedude81 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Now, that we got more detail, he's an idiot for bringing up his height. It should be common sense to not ask a question when you know that the answer can make you upset.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Now, that we got more detail, he's an idiot for bringing up his height. It should be common sense to not ask a question when you know that the answer can make you upset. Well maybe I shouldn't have said anything about thinking it was weird? Maybe I should have just said no. But in a nice way. I think he was expecting a different answer though... that is why he was upset. But still! That was pretty crappy...
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Now, that we got more detail, he's an idiot for bringing up his height. It should be common sense to not ask a question when you know that the answer can make you upset. Also I feel stupid for not including that part. I can see how it is important.
AHardDaysNight Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 No. People are entitled to their personal preferences. I would not date a taller girl than myself...am I shallow?
Dust Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Also I feel stupid for not including that part. I can see how it is important. I pretty much assumed he said that. Even though you left it out you did include the information that he pretty much put you on the spot. It’s really weak for a guy to ask a question like “would you ever date me???” and it is even lamer if he is sensitive about the answer being “no.” Which of course a guy who asks “would you ever date me???” is going to be sensitive. He wanted you to say “yeah I could see us dating” and in his head he would be Casanova at that point. He’d then go home and think about asking you out through your facebook wall. Seriously if you ask a girl “would you ever date me?” and that is your lame way of asking her out or testing the waters you should be ready for “No I would never date you because you are an imbecile!” and you asked for it so you should be insulted. The fact he did what most insecure people do and even fished for a compliment and reassurance is even lamer. How uncomfortable. If he were bald would he be telling you about how his mom dates a bald guy and what do you think about it? So lame.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 I pretty much assumed he said that. Even though you left it out you did include the information that he pretty much put you on the spot. It’s really weak for a guy to ask a question like “would you ever date me???” and it is even lamer if he is sensitive about the answer being “no.” Which of course a guy who asks “would you ever date me???” is going to be sensitive. He wanted you to say “yeah I could see us dating” and in his head he would be Casanova at that point. He’d then go home and think about asking you out through your facebook wall. Seriously if you ask a girl “would you ever date me?” and that is your lame way of asking her out or testing the waters you should be ready for “No I would never date you because you are an imbecile!” and you asked for it so you should be insulted. The fact he did what most insecure people do and even fished for a compliment and reassurance is even lamer. How uncomfortable. If he were bald would he be telling you about how his mom dates a bald guy and what do you think about it? So lame. You made me laugh a good time or two And very true. I just don't have any idea why he got so butthurt. We are not best friends but we are good friends. Anyone know why he would act THAT harshly? Enough to ignore me now? Maybe he can't be around me if he has feelings for me I guess. Or who knows.
Richard Friedman Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Just to make things clear, I am not joking. I am a 5'6 and I have had extreme trouble with women. No woman has ever told me that she rejected me because I'm not tall. But if a girl ever even hints it to me, I will give her an ear-full. It is completely unfair being an otherwise completely normal dude but because of God deciding to make me short, causes me to be unattractive to women. A short guy is often compared to a fat girl because both are considered unattractive to the opposite gender. The key difference is that there isn't a damn thing outside of painful and expensive surgery that a guy can do to get taller. Short guy is just like an ugly girl. Is it fair for a perfectly nice girl to go loveless because her eyes are crooked, nose is off center, etc. And you contradicted yourself when you said a girl sho rejects a non-dwarf guy is shallow. Can the oompa loompa control his height any more than you? Just get over the idea life owes you anything: food, water women health, whatever. Many people go without any/all of these. You live in a first world country for chrissake. Count you blessings man.
evz Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 as soon as i saw this thread... knew there was gona hear from somedude.. haha
Cracker Jack Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 You made me laugh a good time or two And very true. I just don't have any idea why he got so butthurt. We are not best friends but we are good friends. Anyone know why he would act THAT harshly? Enough to ignore me now? Maybe he can't be around me if he has feelings for me I guess. Or who knows. Because his ego was crushed when you rejected him, I suppose. Not like you had any control over that. He might've ignored you even if you didn't mention his height.
Author Tasha49 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 I do think it is unjust to call a girl a bitch for being honest in what she prefers. I can't say I would never ever date a shorter guy but I would never go looking for one. Maybe if I knew one and gained feelings for him I would over look it. But when it comes down to it, I want to feel small compared to my guy. I am not fat at all but even if I was I think a tall guy would make me feel a lot better than one who was short. I am not calling short men undateable. They just aren't ones I want to seek in the dating world. To me it just turns me off. I can't help it. I can date men who are not in much of shape but height just makes me feel so much more secure. In any case it would be unfair to the guy if I were to try dating him despite the height difference that ultimately is not attractive to me.
Richard Friedman Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 BTW somedude you ever consider foreign? Many places in asia/latin america im sure the average height is closer to where you're at. Not to mention your american passport will make you a local celebrity of sorts. You live once man. Don't other people's judgements affect you and do what makes you happy. If you want women and cant get them here it's only logical to look elsewhere... Or you can continue moping and living in quiet desperation
Cracker Jack Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 I do think it is unjust to call a girl a bitch for being honest in what she prefers. I can't say I would never ever date a shorter guy but I would never go looking for one. Maybe if I knew one and gained feelings for him I would over look it. But when it comes down to it, I want to feel small compared to my guy. I am not fat at all but even if I was I think a tall guy would make me feel a lot better than one who was short. I am not calling short men undateable. They just aren't ones I want to seek in the dating world. To me it just turns me off. I can't help it. I can date men who are not in much of shape but height just makes me feel so much more secure. In any case it would be unfair to the guy if I were to try dating him despite the height difference that ultimately is not attractive to me. Your POV is understandable. Plenty of women feel the same way. One woman in particular (she was closer to my height, but a bit shorter) said she just couldn't do it because I didn't "make her feel small enough", which left me a bit confused. After a read about it, it was easy to understand why--and that was because she attributed height with security, which is common among many women. At least you're nice enough to not string someone along in what would be considered an undesirable situation for the both of you.
Kk47 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 So tasha , you said Haha he definitley thought you were making fun and be littling him, but it was his mistake to call you a bitch. He is clearly having a hard time accepting being 5'4" which is not that short I am 5'7" I love my height though cus im very fast and strong pound for pound and have never lost a fight or a race since he's not just some random guy you dont know you should make sure he understands that you don't want to date him so you don't experience drama down the road. Cus rright now he's probably jaming "to don't stop believing " , planning how he is going to win you back lol.
AD1980 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 As a short guy ive come to grips with male height being the biggest dealbreaker in the dating world WOmen want to be shorter then their man even in heles and most want to be towered over,vanity and looking small is a huge part of the dating world for females It is what it is
evz Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 haha srsly wit all these dudes going on bout this (use the search) tryin to give women some insight or a feel for what it is to be one of these. women wana talk about preferences/discrim, well what u dont see is how across the board this one is. let alone trying to change it. guys will make allowances with anythin in regards to the opposite sex. but whatever, there just gona go back to thinking 'oh well, im woman,, moving on..' if theyd spend 5 years as a short dude and come back ..then sum progress. average here btw. just sayin. best thing u can do is not give a single phck. clueless wimminz will respect that more somehow.
musemaj11 Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Would a guy sound like a shallow jerk for telling his flat-chested friend that he wouldnt date her because he likes girls with big breasts?
DepressedinDenver Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 This thread is BS. Its ok for her to be honest but god forbid he be honest back. She didnt need to say that to a supposed friend when she knows he has issues on his height or else he wouldnt be asking about it. And no I am not short so I dont have any personal agenda in this but if was messed up and both side got the reaction that was to be expected.
Recommended Posts