movana Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Hey people, Just joined and have been reading through various posts, it's a very cool supportive site and I hope some of you will share your experiences/ knowledge with me. Has anyone had a connection with someone ( loved this person) and though you recognise the relationship, in the main, is bad for you (the person is unreliable, non-supportive, non-commital etc) you just can't seem to get away from it??? I have left the country...but ended up coming back and he was the first person i saw (he was in touch a lot whilst i was away and i thought of him more) I have dated many other men but I just don't have the same connection with them, or it doesn't work out out for other reasons, i'm not physically attracted to them, we just weren't suited...and in some very depressing cases they were slightly unhinged! After all of these experiences, he came back into my thoughts and it was only a matter of time before we were speaking again, usually he would contact me..sometime i would contact him...but frequently we would simply run into each other unexpectedly. He makes me laugh more than any man ever has and the connection I feel when I'm with him is almost like he's family (though not in a creepy incestuous way of course lol just a very deep bond) unfortunately though he's made me cry a lot too. This has been going on for 5 or 6 years now and in spite of my plans to never speak to him again, something in my heart says he's in my life for the duration. Also, although I have been genuinely optimistic at the beginning of new relationships, they never work out for one reason or other and I always wind up thinking of him and missing him more, Can anyone relate?!!
Nohbody Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Have you read "Of Human Bondage" by W. Somerset Maugham? I'd recommend it.
Author movana Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 haha, i haven't but just read the blurb...rather apt I suppose! :-)
Author movana Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Yes, I'll definitely check him out, thanks :-) btw we're both former english literature student and the story's protagonist...with his artistic ambitions and notions of himself isn't so far removed from the lad in question lol very good sir! ;-) pity you didn't say "gone with the wind" though lol :-)
Author movana Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 At least old scarlett had a chance! lol
Nohbody Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Frankly Ms. Movana, I don't give a damn. Haven't read it, everyone and my mother keeps telling me to. Sorry to say, I can't offer any advice on your situation from my own experience.
Author movana Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 haha don't know too many guys who've bothered reading it to be fair! And no worries, a laugh's probably the best thing for it anyway
RecordProducer Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Can anyone relate?!!I can totally relate. My ex thinks I don't like anybody else because I am obsessed with him. And I kinda think it's the other way round. But let me ask you this: are you a strong woman? Other people see you as strong but you often feel weak inside? Too sensitive and anger-prone? Your burn quickly and get up from the ashes as good as new? You're a dreamer, an idealist, impulsive, a big giver and a big taker? I'm just trying to figure out what type of personality loves the fight for the forbidden fruit.
Author movana Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 I can totally relate. My ex thinks I don't like anybody else because I am obsessed with him. And I kinda think it's the other way round. But let me ask you this: are you a strong woman? Other people see you as strong but you often feel weak inside? Too sensitive and anger-prone? Your burn quickly and get up from the ashes as good as new? You're a dreamer, an idealist, impulsive, a big giver and a big taker? I'm just trying to figure out what type of personality loves the fight for the forbidden fruit. Hey! Thanks for your response...haha...yeah, the guy in question likes to tell me I'm obsessed with him too but he's the one that puts more effort into keeping the contact up to be honest, glad I'm not alone in this! To answer your question, yeah I'm definitely viewed as a strong independent woman by most and like you say I'm not one to flaunt my fragility. But no matter how "strong" anyone appears on the surface, I think deep down we are all pretty fragile, part of the human condition. I can relate to the rest of what you write too haha definitely impulsive, idealist, sensitive and yep, a bit of a phoenix when needs be (quite frequently with regard to him! ). I've had angry outbursts with him but never with friends or work collegues. So, I suppose you're suggesting that a certain psychological dispostion lends itself to this type of situation? The quest for forbidden fruit That had crossed my mind....the old fatal flaw in character that only becomes tragic once recognised by the individual! Great! Psychological rut it is then!haha
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