Need on possible reconciliation and my demands on him.

[AshMorgan]

My significant other (also known as long term boyfriend) has been having an affair for the last 2 years with another woman. He has been in and out of the house a couple of times, both false recovery's for us. At this time he is not living in our home and has been moved out since January. He is not living with the OW.

 

We have been together 12 years and have 2 children together.

 

In April of this year, I decided to move on with my life and stop waiting for my LTBF to end his affar and met another man through work. I started dating him. At that point I had given up on my LTBF (long term boyfriend) and was very happy with the new person I had met. After about 2 mos of dating this new guy, LTBF began to show signs of jealousy and began to come around our home more often. I did not bring new guy around my house or kids. We would meet out and do things together mostly when the kids were with LTBF. The jealousy really began to escalate, and LTBF confronted new guy while I was out with him at the bar as well as drive thru parking lots looking for my car, texts asking me if I was with new guy, etc. The confrontation between the ex and the new guy was kind of stupid. Ex was upset that the new guy had a picture of "us" together on his facebook profile, so the ex demanded he take it down so that my kids couldn't see it. Keep in mind during all this jealousy going on and the stalking me and the demands etc that my ex was still seeing the woman he had cheated on me with.

 

Through the whole new relationship, I had made it clear to the new guy that if my ex wanted to work things out with me that I would consider it because I had been in counseling and there were certain conditions that would have to be met, but if they were met...then I would want to work it out with the ex. So ironically, somewhere in all this...my ex did come to me one night and say that he wanted me back, that he wanted "us" back together. And get this, that he wanted to marry me and wanted a future with me. I think the new guy was getting tired of the drama anyway so shortly after the confrontation between the two men, and my ex telling me he wanted to try to work on us, I decided to end it with the new guy and listen to what the ex was saying to me.

 

So the good news:

All my conditions started to happen for me (except for the big one). My ex opened up all of his email accounts to me, gave me passwords to all and also to his cell phone records. I set up his counseling appointment with my therapist who knows the whole situation. We didn't talk anymore about getting married because I knew that was way down the road, that we had to get through this first. He didn't move back in...but was coming home on the weekends to be with me and the kids. We went on a date last week, just the two of us together. We had a great time. I told him that we will not be having sex at all..until we are 100% back together.

 

The bad news:

He hasn't ended it with the OW, nor has he even told her what his plans are! He keeps telling me baby steps, baby steps. He says that he can't do it cold turkey. He keeps telling me how she is his best friend and he is going to miss their conversations. That he really doesn't want to be with her romantically or sexually but really needs her friendship.

 

So we started arguing again over this. EVERY day I ask him if he has said anything to her, and he tells me no. So now that I can get into his cell records, I can see the texting still going on, the calls. And he is blaming me now for the fighting.."well you are making too many demands on me, I can't do this the way you want it done!" But he keeps assuring me that he is ending it and that he has a "timeline" when it will be done by. Really?

 

So we had a HUGE fight yesterday morning over the phone. He had told me that he wasn't going to come home this weekend cause he needed "to get away from it all and to go think". When I told him this wasn't going to work that way and that I needed him home, every single weekend or I wasn't going to do this with him.

 

2 weeks ago, when I was still in a relationship with someone else, this man sat me down and told me that he wanted to marry me, have his last name, work on our relationship, change his ways, he had apologized to me for putting me through hell, he was remorseful, he said he needed help, he said he loved me and wanted our family back together and wanted it to work...but didn't break if off with her.

 

I just called him this morning to find out that he spent the night with her last night. He didn't lie to me, he told me the truth when I asked him where he was. He said that he is still working on breaking it off with her...and that his timeline is still in place of when it will be done by.

 

I am thinking about going back to the new guy who was treating me like gold. I am hesitant though, I mean clearly the ex is mental and needs help. I don't know what to do in all this. I don't know if I should wait it out and see him do what he says he is gonna do or give up on him and be with the new guy. I feel like he broke up my relationship out of jealousy but had no intentions of ever ending his in order for us to get back together.

[Owl]

"Baby steps" is just code for "please let me be with both of you".

 

Set a firm boundary here...and make it clear that it's iron-clad.

 

He's not truly remorseful for what he's done to you yet...because if he was, he wouldn't still be doing it.

 

Stop compromising on what you NEED here...and the biggest NEED is that if he wants to be in your life, she can no longer be a part of his.

 

Don't be afraid to insist on what you need...demand it in fact.

 

Personally, I don't suggest that you continue the relationship with the other guy either at this point...you're not ready...not if your still so willing to consider a relationship with the LTBF.

 

You don't need either of them...your best bet would be to drop both, until you've healed enough and are capable of being with someone else.

[2011aug]

Your ltbf is toxic. Move on. He doesn't respect you.

[Disillusioned_Wife]

He suckered you back into his world of lies and cheating. He hasn't met your conditions he just doing bare minimum to keep you on the hook.

 

It's NC or nothing regardless of all the other things he's done. Put your foot down or wait forever.

[Tech_E]

Either he cuts ALL ties with OW right now, or there is just nowhere to go. He is trying to cake eat. Period.

 

It seems to me that you need to get away from BOTH men for a little while and figure out what YOU want.

[TigerCub]

oyi....What your LTBF did, he did just to sabotage your new relationship.

 

This guy is so obviously not serious about marrying you

Heck, he's not even breaking up with the woman he cheated on you with!!

 

Sure, she may be his friend, but the crap about not wanting her sexually? Why the hell did he spend the night at her place then?

 

Also, say she's just a "friend" and he doesn't want to end that - will you be ok with him if he comes home and keeps this friend?

 

You're putting up with way too much crap here. He's telling you just what you want to hear just so you would leave the other guy (sabotage) and he can still have you as an option - and you fell for it

 

That's really sad.

 

hehe, and all that timeline stuff, go read on the OM/OW forum, that's what they hear "oh, I have to wait until such and such and then I will tell my wife that I'm leaving, then its just you and me baby!!" it never happens because the people just buy into that crap and waste years of their life waiting. This is no different.

 

If he was really sorry and if he really cared, he's jump at the chance to be with you 100%.

[AshMorgan]

Thank you! Well this is what I have thought too, (the sabotage) in fact I even told him that is what he did, and now he says "I never told you that you couldn't see him"...well no, you didn't tell me that I couldn't see the new guy...but you started a fight with him over some stupid facebook picture (excuse), you stalk me when I'm out with the guy...you call him a "punk" when referring to him instead of using his name, you call him a loser and you tell me that you were hoping I would have made better choices...but at the same time..the new guy was treating me like a queen, would never cheat on me, and was a great guy...but he is the loser?

 

You know what he called it instead of sabotage?? And this is an exact quote copied from an email he wrote to me:

 

While you want to pin my actions over the past couple of weeks on jealousy, that was a minor ingredient. I won't say that there was none, but I was more angry that you were being deceptive about what was going on with you and wanted to prove to you that I could catch you in your lies just like you had done to me so many times before.

 

I wasn't trying to lie to him or make him catch me in anything, I was trying to have a personal life that was none of his business. So yes, I would lie to him when he would ask me if I was in a particular place with NG..I would say "no" or one time he asked me why my car wasn't parked where I said I was, and I said "I don't know, I was there" when I really wasn't. I felt like I had to answer to him, and now realize I should have told him it was none of his business and to leave me alone.

 

I have been manipulated by the Master of Manipulation. I ended my relationship with the NG because I felt it was the right thing to do for both of them, because I WANTED my relationship back with my ex. But because his actions didn't reflect what I had just done with my relationship, I nagged the heck out of him day in and day out to do it already and let's get to working on us!! Then I became the B$$$ in his eyes because I was making demands of him to end that.

 

There was one morning where I had told the ex about my break-up with the NG and he came flying over to my house and I did open the door, went back up to my room to climb back into bed...and my ex peeled off all his clothes and jumped into bed with me and said "he just needed me"...I told him "no flipping way was I having sex with him" I was soooo offended. I mean, I was ready to work on the relationship..but that offended me. It actually kind of disgusted me at that point..I felt a huge disappointment come over me that he would want me like that without trying to fix our emotional disconnection with each other, or break it off with the other woman. I am sticking to my guns on that one.

 

So he is with her now and we just got off the phone, he says he still wants what he told me about fixing our relationship, the counseling, the reconciliation....but he's still gonna go to dinner with her tonight.....whatever.

[TigerCub]

Thank you! Well this is what I have thought too, (the sabotage) in fact I even told him that is what he did, and now he says "I never told you that you couldn't see him"...well no, you didn't tell me that I couldn't see the new guy...but you started a fight with him over some stupid facebook picture (excuse), you stalk me when I'm out with the guy...you call him a "punk" when referring to him instead of using his name, you call him a loser and you tell me that you were hoping I would have made better choices...but at the same time..the new guy was treating me like a queen, would never cheat on me, and was a great guy...but he is the loser?

 

You know what he called it instead of sabotage?? And this is an exact quote copied from an email he wrote to me:

 

While you want to pin my actions over the past couple of weeks on jealousy, that was a minor ingredient. I won't say that there was none, but I was more angry that you were being deceptive about what was going on with you and wanted to prove to you that I could catch you in your lies just like you had done to me so many times before.

 

I wasn't trying to lie to him or make him catch me in anything, I was trying to have a personal life that was none of his business. So yes, I would lie to him when he would ask me if I was in a particular place with NG..I would say "no" or one time he asked me why my car wasn't parked where I said I was, and I said "I don't know, I was there" when I really wasn't. I felt like I had to answer to him, and now realize I should have told him it was none of his business and to leave me alone.

 

I have been manipulated by the Master of Manipulation. I ended my relationship with the NG because I felt it was the right thing to do for both of them, because I WANTED my relationship back with my ex. But because his actions didn't reflect what I had just done with my relationship, I nagged the heck out of him day in and day out to do it already and let's get to working on us!! Then I became the B$$$ in his eyes because I was making demands of him to end that.

 

There was one morning where I had told the ex about my break-up with the NG and he came flying over to my house and I did open the door, went back up to my room to climb back into bed...and my ex peeled off all his clothes and jumped into bed with me and said "he just needed me"...I told him "no flipping way was I having sex with him" I was soooo offended. I mean, I was ready to work on the relationship..but that offended me. It actually kind of disgusted me at that point..I felt a huge disappointment come over me that he would want me like that without trying to fix our emotional disconnection with each other, or break it off with the other woman. I am sticking to my guns on that one.

 

So he is with her now and we just got off the phone, he says he still wants what he told me about fixing our relationship, the counseling, the reconciliation....but he's still gonna go to dinner with her tonight.....whatever.

 

The part in bold is pretty much what you need to be saying to him. It's good that you realize that now.

 

I know you love him and you have kids with him, but honestly, I can't see why you would want a person like that in your life.

 

He's just disrespecting you so much.

Why are you even having a conversation with him while he's still with the other woman?

 

You should stand up for yourself and just say "Well, as long as you're 1/2 a$$ing this and 2 timing both of us, there is nothing left to talk about. Go to her, she can have all of you!!"

and then you should go on your merry way, be good on your own and when you're ready to date again, don't tell him anything about anyone.

 

He's not going to respect you or really desire being with you, or see your real value, if you let him walk all over you.

[MissBee]

"Baby steps" is just code for "please let me be with both of you".

 

Set a firm boundary here...and make it clear that it's iron-clad.

 

He's not truly remorseful for what he's done to you yet...because if he was, he wouldn't still be doing it.

 

Stop compromising on what you NEED here...and the biggest NEED is that if he wants to be in your life, she can no longer be a part of his.

 

Don't be afraid to insist on what you need...demand it in fact.

 

Personally, I don't suggest that you continue the relationship with the other guy either at this point...you're not ready...not if your still so willing to consider a relationship with the LTBF.

 

You don't need either of them...your best bet would be to drop both, until you've healed enough and are capable of being with someone else.

 

I concur 100%

 

It's a mess on all fronts. OP, could you imagine dating a guy who told you that if his gf tries to work things out with him, he's going to leave you??? That cannot be a good relationship.

 

Your conditions aren't being met, if the big and most important one is not being met, and that is him being done with the OW. I don't know about you, but I have no desire or energy to check a man's phone bills and emails like the FBI. He can always create new ones anyway, and appease me by allowing me to look at the "safe ones". That's not a good foundation.

 

As Owl said, if he was truly remorseful he would have cleaned up his act totally. He hasn't and I have a feeling he won't anytime soon. You have allowed him to get away with too much and he feels he can take it for a run.I think you should be fair to this other guy and yourself and end it with him as you are not really ready or available for a relationship. You should also ignore your ex until he can consistently show some true change....or better yet, allow him to do as he wishes (he's already doing that) and see what happens. You want someone who CHOOSES you fully and not someone you have to monitor and coerce into being with you/being faithful. Let him do as he wishes and see what he really does. If he can do what he wants and he doesn't stop seeing her, then chances are, as difficult as it is, this is no longer a relationship for you and you should go your separate ways.

[Donewrong]

He ends it with the OW while you are in his presence or it goes nowhere with you. Move on with your life. That is the #1 thing he needs to do. If he is not willing to end this "friendship"..then move on. You deserve better!

[Woman In Blue]

Through the whole new relationship, I had made it clear to the new guy that if my ex wanted to work things out with me that I would consider it because I had been in counseling and there were certain conditions that would have to be met, but if they were met...then I would want to work it out with the ex.

If that was your therapist's bright idea - to allow your ex back into your life with 'conditions' - then I would have fired that therapist a long time ago. I'm actually suprised the new guy still hung around after hearing that nonsense.

 

I set up his counseling appointment with my therapist who knows the whole situation.

Oh great - the enabler. Where did this therapist get their license - KMart?

 

The bad news:

He hasn't ended it with the OW, nor has he even told her what his plans are! He keeps telling me baby steps, baby steps. He says that he can't do it cold turkey. He keeps telling me how she is his best friend and he is going to miss their conversations. That he really doesn't want to be with her romantically or sexually but really needs her friendship.

I have to ask this in all seriousness but without maliciousness - do you have no pride at all? Why the hell are you jumping around like a trained seal for this lying, cheating, sneaky jerk? He thought NOTHING of deserting you AND his children for some woman he's STILL involved with over 2 years later. And your therapist thinks it's a GOOD idea to align yourself with this loser - again???

 

Well, now YOU'RE the "other woman." How's that working for you?

 

2 weeks ago, when I was still in a relationship with someone else, this man sat me down and told me that he wanted to marry me, have his last name, work on our relationship, change his ways, he had apologized to me for putting me through hell, he was remorseful, he said he needed help, he said he loved me and wanted our family back together and wanted it to work...but didn't break if off with her.

It's the jerk's PRIDE that was talking. He acted like a moronic little teenage buffoon and made an ass of himself confronting the guy you were dating and you should have called the cops on the loser, not gone running back to him all flattered about it. His precious little EGO simply couldn't stand the thought that you weren't home pining away for him. And because you couldn't run back to him FAST enough when he asked you, you've now satisifed his ego that he can still get you back. But now that you're back, he's not so anxious to BE back with you. God, this isn't that hard to figure out. Let's give this guy a Father of Year award - his kids must be SO proud of their dad and his inability to treat their mother - or THEM - with even a SHRED of respect.

 

I am thinking about going back to the new guy who was treating me like gold.

You've GOT to be kidding. You think that guy wants to get in the middle of this freakin' dysfunctional mess again? I'm sure he's just chomping at the bit to come running back for yet MORE drama and watch you run away again the minute your loser ex comes crying for you. NOT.

 

I feel like he broke up my relationship out of jealousy but had no intentions of ever ending his in order for us to get back together.

Yeah, something like that.

 

You need to make sure you're out of that dysfunctional little waltz you're doing with your ex before you drag another innocent victim into this 3-ring circus you two have created.

[Janesays]

I wouldn't spit on your boyfriend if he were on fire. You want this dude back? Really? Seriously?

[PinkInTheLimo]

He suckered you back into his world of lies and cheating. He hasn't met your conditions he just doing bare minimum to keep you on the hook.

 

It's NC or nothing regardless of all the other things he's done. Put your foot down or wait forever.

 

Totally agree. NC until it's totally over with the OW.

 

Also, if he starts to stalk you again, go to the police.

[danceallday]

I just want to thank everybody for their honest thoughts. I am so glad I found this site. Reading these posts helps me so much with my own situation. I was in something similar and the thing I learned was that people will only push you as far as you let them.

 

You have to be selfish right now and think of what is best for you (and your children).

[AshMorgan]

Just a quick update and a "bump" to this thread.

 

I appreciate all the replies, even the "harsh" ones.

 

Unfortunately I put myself back where my ex wanted me. I dumped the new guy and started to "wait it out" again, for my ex to dump the OW. I probably gave it only 2 weeks, to really give it a good solid "try" to emotionally connect with him again even though he was still seeing her. He kept telling me that he was no longer sleeping with her or seeing her in person, only texting and talking on the phone. I won't say that I believed him when he said that, I just worked more on trying to emotionally connect with him in hopes that he would disconnect with her.

 

I made suggestions to go do things with him...Movies with the kids, dinner out, hanging out at the house, date night, texting during the day, word games on our cell phones, saying good morning and goodnight every day/night via text. It felt like it was always me trying to connect with him. I was always the one who made the suggestions to go do something. One night when we were at the movies with the kids, during the movie I grabbed his hand and tried to hold hands with him. He held my hand for about 10 minutes and then wriggled his hand away. Then he tried to say that his wrist was hurting, but it really felt like a "wriggle away"..and needless to say, once he unhooked his hand...it wasn't like he looked for my hand again, during the rest of the movie!

 

When I would ask if we could go have a date night out, it was always me making the reservations, getting tickets, making everything come together. He did nothing. On one of those nights that I asked him if he wanted to have a night out with just the two of us, he replied "sure"...and then when I made no plans, he never even brought up the subject or wondered what happened to "date night" and just went about his business with the kids.

 

I felt like I was "one of the guys" when he would talk to me on the phone. No little endearments or romantic flirting going on. In fact one day when we were texting, (he was at work)...he says "well I have to go, I'm getting ready to go have lunch with *insert guy friends name* so I'll buzz ya later"....What?? You'll buzz me later??? What the H$LL is that?

And...he never did call me later anyway that night...he texted me a "goodnight" and that was it.

 

So after 2 weeks of emotional disconnection with him, I said to him one night "I feel like we aren't moving forward" he says to me, "we aren't moving forward cause I'm not ready to move forward with you yet, I still have some reservations about you." Wow, really?? 2 months ago you were ready to marry me...and now you're back on having reservations about us. I honestly don't really know what he means by having reservations about me anyway...I have been pretty available for him, and I felt like I was really trying to connect and work on things with him while he was doing nothing really.

 

Well he says he WAS trying by coming home and hanging out with his family instead of going to OW's house. "Wow give that man a brownie point, you really made a huge sacrifice."

 

But in reality, the OW had no idea that he was even doing anything other than making her believe that he was hanging out with his kids and that I wasn't around or we weren't doing anything together. The night after he told me that he wasn't ready to move on with me and his reservations B.S. I caught him talking to the OW on his cell phone up in our bedroom. He didn't try to get off the phone with her real fast, he continued his conversation as I stood there and listened to him laugh and play it off like they were good friends chatting about his/her day. Then as I'm standing there with my arms crossed, he says to her "I'll let ya go, I'll call ya later"....

 

I ended up leaving the house that night. Packed my bags...kissed my kids bye and went to stay with a friend that night. I let him stay in the house with the kids. I didn't fight or argue with him, I just told him ..."don't care what you do with her/OW...knock yourself out...have fun, I give up, I'm done," and left.

 

I stayed away all weekend, until Sunday when I knew he had to leave so he could go to work the next day. I came back just as he was leaving and he says to me..."this isn't going to work if every time we have a disagreement you take off running"....

 

I didn't think catching him talking to the OW in our home in our bedroom, chatting as if nothing was going on is a disagreement..It's total disrespect!

 

He tried to say goodnight to me via text that night once he got home....but haven't talked to him since. That was this past Sunday. I need this to end!!! So tired of this.

[keepsmilin74]

He ends it with the OW while you are in his presence or it goes nowhere with you. Move on with your life. That is the #1 thing he needs to do. If he is not willing to end this "friendship"..then move on.

 

What she said.

[seren]

Yes to everything that Owl said and others too, what a tosser, he wants his cake cut, put on a plate and to eat it. There are a lot of power playing games going on here, I wonder does the OW know what he is doing and saying to you, perhaps you need to give her the heads up so she has a choice as to whether she is willing to put up with all this.

 

I would walk away and not look back, my only communication with him would be to discuss the split, finances and the children. I would make it clear that I was happy for him to move forward with his life, but that I was now moving forward with mine and that if that meant dating, that any rules regarding children and seeing others was respected and that you expected him to respect that too.

 

Sounds like he is not wanting you to replace him yet is happy replacing you. Very often the WS cannot cope with their BS moving on, sort of I may not want it, but I sure don't want anyone else to have it either. Have a good long think about what you want and act on it. x

[PhoenixRise]

Just a quick update and a "bump" to this thread.

 

I appreciate all the replies, even the "harsh" ones.

 

Unfortunately I put myself back where my ex wanted me. I dumped the new guy and started to "wait it out" again, for my ex to dump the OW. I probably gave it only 2 weeks, to really give it a good solid "try" to emotionally connect with him again even though he was still seeing her. He kept telling me that he was no longer sleeping with her or seeing her in person, only texting and talking on the phone. I won't say that I believed him when he said that, I just worked more on trying to emotionally connect with him in hopes that he would disconnect with her.

 

I made suggestions to go do things with him...Movies with the kids, dinner out, hanging out at the house, date night, texting during the day, word games on our cell phones, saying good morning and goodnight every day/night via text. It felt like it was always me trying to connect with him. I was always the one who made the suggestions to go do something. One night when we were at the movies with the kids, during the movie I grabbed his hand and tried to hold hands with him. He held my hand for about 10 minutes and then wriggled his hand away. Then he tried to say that his wrist was hurting, but it really felt like a "wriggle away"..and needless to say, once he unhooked his hand...it wasn't like he looked for my hand again, during the rest of the movie!

 

When I would ask if we could go have a date night out, it was always me making the reservations, getting tickets, making everything come together. He did nothing. On one of those nights that I asked him if he wanted to have a night out with just the two of us, he replied "sure"...and then when I made no plans, he never even brought up the subject or wondered what happened to "date night" and just went about his business with the kids.

 

I felt like I was "one of the guys" when he would talk to me on the phone. No little endearments or romantic flirting going on. In fact one day when we were texting, (he was at work)...he says "well I have to go, I'm getting ready to go have lunch with *insert guy friends name* so I'll buzz ya later"....What?? You'll buzz me later??? What the H$LL is that?

And...he never did call me later anyway that night...he texted me a "goodnight" and that was it.

 

So after 2 weeks of emotional disconnection with him, I said to him one night "I feel like we aren't moving forward" he says to me, "we aren't moving forward cause I'm not ready to move forward with you yet, I still have some reservations about you." Wow, really?? 2 months ago you were ready to marry me...and now you're back on having reservations about us. I honestly don't really know what he means by having reservations about me anyway...I have been pretty available for him, and I felt like I was really trying to connect and work on things with him while he was doing nothing really.

 

Well he says he WAS trying by coming home and hanging out with his family instead of going to OW's house. "Wow give that man a brownie point, you really made a huge sacrifice."

 

But in reality, the OW had no idea that he was even doing anything other than making her believe that he was hanging out with his kids and that I wasn't around or we weren't doing anything together. The night after he told me that he wasn't ready to move on with me and his reservations B.S. I caught him talking to the OW on his cell phone up in our bedroom. He didn't try to get off the phone with her real fast, he continued his conversation as I stood there and listened to him laugh and play it off like they were good friends chatting about his/her day. Then as I'm standing there with my arms crossed, he says to her "I'll let ya go, I'll call ya later"....

 

I ended up leaving the house that night. Packed my bags...kissed my kids bye and went to stay with a friend that night. I let him stay in the house with the kids. I didn't fight or argue with him, I just told him ..."don't care what you do with her/OW...knock yourself out...have fun, I give up, I'm done," and left.

 

I stayed away all weekend, until Sunday when I knew he had to leave so he could go to work the next day. I came back just as he was leaving and he says to me..."this isn't going to work if every time we have a disagreement you take off running"....

 

I didn't think catching him talking to the OW in our home in our bedroom, chatting as if nothing was going on is a disagreement..It's total disrespect!

 

He tried to say goodnight to me via text that night once he got home....but haven't talked to him since. That was this past Sunday. I need this to end!!! So tired of this.

 

Ash

 

He is convinced he can do better than you. AND he is pretty sure he can do better than the OW too. He is holding on to you both as options until something better comes along or until one of you wises up and finally kick his azz to the curb for good.

 

So here you are jumping through hoops. Why? Are you trying to convince him that you are the best choice?

 

Let him go.

 

Deal with him ONLY about the children and let him go.

 

He doesn't respect you. You haven't demonstrated that you respect yourself.

 

He Cheated. He Lied. He disrespected you.

 

But YOU are the one taking action trying to rebuild the relationship.

 

AND what has he given you in return? Words. Words cost nothing beyond the air it takes to speak them. Ask yourself WHY you allow yourself to be won over so cheaply.

 

Stop playing his game and start living your life.